(no subject)
Colleen's post has realized that i need to post. So here I go.
I feel like an utter failure. I can't get a job. The only man i want I can't get and the only men I can get I don't want. At least I have awards. At least I have my brains.
I've been half-assing my appearance and my charm. Its not as fun to me anymore. Plus all my money's in savings so I don't really have anything to spend on new clothes. Besides, styles have been sucking lately. Everything just became too easy.
Except Brad. Frankly, I dont have a clue where to start with that boy. I'll tell him I love him before I leave, but I doubt he loves me back. Addison took my virginity, Brad took my heart, and Lawrence (nearly) took my spirit.
Someday, there'll be someome who will make this all worth it. He's just coming later.
I dont think I really know a single person (other than my parents, but that doesn't count), boy or girl, who's ever loved me with their whole heart. You can give yourself entirely to someone, you can always be there when they need or even when they don't need you, but there's no garuntee that they'll return the favor, much less appreciate it. Yet still I keep on. Someday it will be worth it. The easiest paths are the ones least worth taking.
Maybe I just need to get drunk or laid so my mood will pick up. I dunno. Fuck life.
I feel like an utter failure. I can't get a job. The only man i want I can't get and the only men I can get I don't want. At least I have awards. At least I have my brains.
I've been half-assing my appearance and my charm. Its not as fun to me anymore. Plus all my money's in savings so I don't really have anything to spend on new clothes. Besides, styles have been sucking lately. Everything just became too easy.
Except Brad. Frankly, I dont have a clue where to start with that boy. I'll tell him I love him before I leave, but I doubt he loves me back. Addison took my virginity, Brad took my heart, and Lawrence (nearly) took my spirit.
Someday, there'll be someome who will make this all worth it. He's just coming later.
I dont think I really know a single person (other than my parents, but that doesn't count), boy or girl, who's ever loved me with their whole heart. You can give yourself entirely to someone, you can always be there when they need or even when they don't need you, but there's no garuntee that they'll return the favor, much less appreciate it. Yet still I keep on. Someday it will be worth it. The easiest paths are the ones least worth taking.
Maybe I just need to get drunk or laid so my mood will pick up. I dunno. Fuck life.