So what?
Come back to school in 2 more days. Alone with deadline for the design graduation project.
Been sick ever since I came back from the trip. Right, it was great, the only thing that sucks is my health.
So what does it matter if I'm sick? If I'm fucking sick?
I havent felt like crap for a long time, and I don't even remember the last time I had myself stuck in bed after throwing up in hours, but here I am, sicker than ever! And there is this unfinished project I'm still trying to work on in this crappy condition. Why, don't ask me.
I'm supposed to be stressed, but I'm not. I'm supposed to be having the oh-so-usual moodswings that always lead to horrible results, but I'm not.
Too sick to even feel anything else.
Not that it matters. It doesn't.
I just hate it that at times like this, the loneliness always comes crashing down on me in the harshest way, leaving me breathless and exhausted in tears for the hell of it and then again darkness is the only one with the full attention I need, I wish for.
Heh its not so bad huh?
At times like this I have a feeling I don't even have a single friend that at least cares enough about my well being. I thought the same to my family but it was wrong to begin with, and no matter what they are always my only comfort, I love them so freaking much it hurts but at the same time it doesnt matter to me whether they care or not anymore, I love them still. I love my dad and my mom the most.
Ooooh what was that, I was ranting about my stupid love again lol. The sickness is getting the better of me I guess, I can't think straight anymore, my head is spinning and it hurts so much, I can't breathe, my whole body is burning and my insides are on fire, I feel like throwing up all the time. What the hell is this anyway?
It makes me wanna die.
And guess what, I don't even need any fucking attention from you ignorant people even if I die. What's with the 'I love you'? It doesn't even have a single meaning in it!
Best sisters forever? Gosh how ridiculous hahahah! Just my parents are enough. now.
Who would care about me but them anyway?
Guess I should not have been crying so hard last night, it made my head hurt so much.
Guess I shouldn't even be writing this crap either. I'm supposed to be working my butt off on the damn project. Remind me again, why should I try so hard on it? Right, I dunno.
Maybe sleeping doesn't help any.
Gosh this sucks. I wish...I wish...I don't even know what I wish for, how funny. For my parents' well beings I guess.
My sickness doesn't mean anything, really. It can last as long as it's meant to last, I don't give a damn. Nobody does.
So what?
Like I care.
I was meant to write this in my diary but obviously, I dont have enough time.
Crap, I seriously need to get back to work.
I wanna rest, though.
I know I know, I can't. Need to work...
I feel like dying.
It doesn't matter, though.
Been sick ever since I came back from the trip. Right, it was great, the only thing that sucks is my health.
So what does it matter if I'm sick? If I'm fucking sick?
I havent felt like crap for a long time, and I don't even remember the last time I had myself stuck in bed after throwing up in hours, but here I am, sicker than ever! And there is this unfinished project I'm still trying to work on in this crappy condition. Why, don't ask me.
I'm supposed to be stressed, but I'm not. I'm supposed to be having the oh-so-usual moodswings that always lead to horrible results, but I'm not.
Too sick to even feel anything else.
Not that it matters. It doesn't.
I just hate it that at times like this, the loneliness always comes crashing down on me in the harshest way, leaving me breathless and exhausted in tears for the hell of it and then again darkness is the only one with the full attention I need, I wish for.
Heh its not so bad huh?
At times like this I have a feeling I don't even have a single friend that at least cares enough about my well being. I thought the same to my family but it was wrong to begin with, and no matter what they are always my only comfort, I love them so freaking much it hurts but at the same time it doesnt matter to me whether they care or not anymore, I love them still. I love my dad and my mom the most.
Ooooh what was that, I was ranting about my stupid love again lol. The sickness is getting the better of me I guess, I can't think straight anymore, my head is spinning and it hurts so much, I can't breathe, my whole body is burning and my insides are on fire, I feel like throwing up all the time. What the hell is this anyway?
It makes me wanna die.
And guess what, I don't even need any fucking attention from you ignorant people even if I die. What's with the 'I love you'? It doesn't even have a single meaning in it!
Best sisters forever? Gosh how ridiculous hahahah! Just my parents are enough. now.
Who would care about me but them anyway?
Guess I should not have been crying so hard last night, it made my head hurt so much.
Guess I shouldn't even be writing this crap either. I'm supposed to be working my butt off on the damn project. Remind me again, why should I try so hard on it? Right, I dunno.
Maybe sleeping doesn't help any.
Gosh this sucks. I wish...I wish...I don't even know what I wish for, how funny. For my parents' well beings I guess.
My sickness doesn't mean anything, really. It can last as long as it's meant to last, I don't give a damn. Nobody does.
So what?
Like I care.
I was meant to write this in my diary but obviously, I dont have enough time.
Crap, I seriously need to get back to work.
I wanna rest, though.
I know I know, I can't. Need to work...
I feel like dying.
It doesn't matter, though.