(no subject)
I am thinking of deleting this I usually don't get on here anymore ...the only time anyone read this was for updates on Kina ...
My life pretty much sucks right now and I am so far into a hole that it is very hard to see the outside world . So I think why bother posting ??? Everything has changed in my life all at once and the little bit of help that I had did very little to help me out but I am grateful for what I have gotten.
While I was with Kina in another state my hubby decided to leave and go back to where he is originally from leaving me with no money and sick . I ended up with the flu followed right after by severe bronchitis . I am still sick with it to this day but I can't afford to be.
I have been applying for jobs and have had an interview and one more today so hopefully I will be getting a job . The calls flood in for all of the bills I now owe because yet again I was left holding the bag by yet another man with huge bills and no means to pay them at the moment.
I made it through Christmas barely , life seems so lonely and cold to me right now . I have nobody ...but 2 kids to try to support , home and pets.I stand to lose everything and I have no way of stopping it all . I feel horrible for my kids they don't deserve this but hey I trusted that things would be ok ...I will never do that again.
As for other things in my life I am feeling extremely hurt by someone that I gave a lot up for but they turned their back on me and did something that in my eyes was horrible and not right ...what was agreed to at an earlier point washed away with the others and what they wanted . Greed I say ...oh well I guess I will never learn not to trust even the ones closest to you because they are the ones that hurt you the most .
I am so tired of the self rightious attitude of someone and the disrespect they have for me , I am suppose to do everything for them and take all of their crap , even now I am still doing for them when they should not need from me ...God Dammit I have nothing I can't pay my bills! I have very little and thinking of stupid things to do for money here .
I will be loosing my cells to but oh well I don't care anymore I can't pay so they go bye bye . How can someone be so stupid about things and selfish but to others make themselves look so damn innocent and rightious? I am pissed off that they are so cold and cruel to the ones that have always been there for them but kind and wonderful to strangers and to those that are new in their life. Their tongue is sharp and cuts very deep leaving scars that will never heal on a young mind . They claim to be so spiritual but if so why would or how could they treat someone that loves them so dearly so terribly. They crush the ones they shouldn't underneath their feet. I am so terribly hurt and destroyed by this person and they don't even see what they have done or are doing . I smile and act like everything is ok to avoid conflict, I do everything for them and in return I get shit upon....so very sad.
I could go on but I am feeling like whats the use they will never see what they are doing and how much they are destroying the ones that have been there for them always and use to do everything for them!
I am tired of life in general and have been beaten down for the last time , I don't feel like getting back up this time I feel like laying down and dying .....
My life pretty much sucks right now and I am so far into a hole that it is very hard to see the outside world . So I think why bother posting ??? Everything has changed in my life all at once and the little bit of help that I had did very little to help me out but I am grateful for what I have gotten.
While I was with Kina in another state my hubby decided to leave and go back to where he is originally from leaving me with no money and sick . I ended up with the flu followed right after by severe bronchitis . I am still sick with it to this day but I can't afford to be.
I have been applying for jobs and have had an interview and one more today so hopefully I will be getting a job . The calls flood in for all of the bills I now owe because yet again I was left holding the bag by yet another man with huge bills and no means to pay them at the moment.
I made it through Christmas barely , life seems so lonely and cold to me right now . I have nobody ...but 2 kids to try to support , home and pets.I stand to lose everything and I have no way of stopping it all . I feel horrible for my kids they don't deserve this but hey I trusted that things would be ok ...I will never do that again.
As for other things in my life I am feeling extremely hurt by someone that I gave a lot up for but they turned their back on me and did something that in my eyes was horrible and not right ...what was agreed to at an earlier point washed away with the others and what they wanted . Greed I say ...oh well I guess I will never learn not to trust even the ones closest to you because they are the ones that hurt you the most .
I am so tired of the self rightious attitude of someone and the disrespect they have for me , I am suppose to do everything for them and take all of their crap , even now I am still doing for them when they should not need from me ...God Dammit I have nothing I can't pay my bills! I have very little and thinking of stupid things to do for money here .
I will be loosing my cells to but oh well I don't care anymore I can't pay so they go bye bye . How can someone be so stupid about things and selfish but to others make themselves look so damn innocent and rightious? I am pissed off that they are so cold and cruel to the ones that have always been there for them but kind and wonderful to strangers and to those that are new in their life. Their tongue is sharp and cuts very deep leaving scars that will never heal on a young mind . They claim to be so spiritual but if so why would or how could they treat someone that loves them so dearly so terribly. They crush the ones they shouldn't underneath their feet. I am so terribly hurt and destroyed by this person and they don't even see what they have done or are doing . I smile and act like everything is ok to avoid conflict, I do everything for them and in return I get shit upon....so very sad.
I could go on but I am feeling like whats the use they will never see what they are doing and how much they are destroying the ones that have been there for them always and use to do everything for them!
I am tired of life in general and have been beaten down for the last time , I don't feel like getting back up this time I feel like laying down and dying .....