(no subject)
It seems wrong to me... Yesterday my mother told me that Zach, who I had gone to primary school with, had run away from home. I didn't think too much of it. He would be found, life would go on. He was found. But life didn't go on, at least not for him.
I want to understand... It seems so strange. So strange and so wrong. I haven't seen him in three years and for the first time, I miss him. I knew him for nine years, and he just slipped out of my life. And you wonder... You wonder if there could have been something you could have done... A few words you could have said to change things.
I feel like I have no right to be sad. In the end, I didn't really know him. And we all just stood around, sighing, forcing out words to try and somehow... lessen the confusion in ourselves. And in all the emptiness, I felt somewhat hypocritical to cry. It wasn't fair.
And in the end, I can't use my words to explain... Did he not know that he was loved? In the year he spent in the High School, he touched people's lives. In the nine years I spent with him, he served an indeterminate part in moulding who I am. All of the thirty-odd people I knew back then did. And the worrying thing is that I've lost touch. And now this is one person whom I will never see again.
I couldn't concentrate on my Irish test. It didn't seem right. Life shouldn't vanish. It seems strange. It seems wrong.
I want to go to the funeral. Lauren does too. I think... I think it would be nice if all of us from Rathfarnham Parish NS were there. It seems... fitting. We should all be together. For eight years we were all together. We are all one another, whoever we are now.
He was beaten up in a nightclub. He had an argument with his parents. He was heavily into drugs. I guess... I guess his life just spiralled out of control.
There's no point in wishing or regretting... All I can do now is remember him. And, I guess, remember that no matter how bad things seem, there are always people who I have affected, who have changed because of me.
It's a pity it takes a suicide to realise that.
I want to understand... It seems so strange. So strange and so wrong. I haven't seen him in three years and for the first time, I miss him. I knew him for nine years, and he just slipped out of my life. And you wonder... You wonder if there could have been something you could have done... A few words you could have said to change things.
I feel like I have no right to be sad. In the end, I didn't really know him. And we all just stood around, sighing, forcing out words to try and somehow... lessen the confusion in ourselves. And in all the emptiness, I felt somewhat hypocritical to cry. It wasn't fair.
And in the end, I can't use my words to explain... Did he not know that he was loved? In the year he spent in the High School, he touched people's lives. In the nine years I spent with him, he served an indeterminate part in moulding who I am. All of the thirty-odd people I knew back then did. And the worrying thing is that I've lost touch. And now this is one person whom I will never see again.
I couldn't concentrate on my Irish test. It didn't seem right. Life shouldn't vanish. It seems strange. It seems wrong.
I want to go to the funeral. Lauren does too. I think... I think it would be nice if all of us from Rathfarnham Parish NS were there. It seems... fitting. We should all be together. For eight years we were all together. We are all one another, whoever we are now.
He was beaten up in a nightclub. He had an argument with his parents. He was heavily into drugs. I guess... I guess his life just spiralled out of control.
There's no point in wishing or regretting... All I can do now is remember him. And, I guess, remember that no matter how bad things seem, there are always people who I have affected, who have changed because of me.
It's a pity it takes a suicide to realise that.