Here is to the holidays.........
The holiday season has begun. I must say that I am a happy camper. I love my friends and I have been seeing a lot of all of them lately. Well except for my dear Amy but that will change very soon. School is great. I love it. I do not want to go on winter break.....is that crazy? I love my campus and the people that really make it the campus I so love. Everyday I get there early and stay at least an hour after class becasue there is always someone to talk to. Have I mentioned that I enjoy talknig to people? Yeah me of all people. Miss shy girl here likes to hold conversations and get to know people. I swear I am a completely different person when I am at school. I feel as though I do not have a care in thwe world. I love life and whatever drama or lack of goes along with it. We need drama to keep our lives interesting. Now I am not saying that I go out of my way to create this drama or anything. It just seems to always find me. I think I had plenty of it lately. Times are a changin for this girl. I feel older. I feel like I know what I want when it comes to certain parts of my life. I am scared shitless of the future because I feel like I am stuck on this path, which I am not even sure I want to take or should take for that matter. I want to act.....why? Well because I love it. I love how it makes me feel. Acting has changed me. I have met some of my best friends because I started acting. This is waht I really want to do but it is not practical. Practical is going into business, which is what I am doing for those of you who do not know that. Who knows. I do not want to be one of those people who has some sort of desk job for the rest of their life and hates it because they are not donig what their heart tells them to do. I know I will keep acting, even if it is just on the side. The only reason is because I could NEVER see myself quiting it. I feel like I am becoming a better actress with the more experience I have. I am not saying I am anything great but what does that matter anyways? I am happy with how I do. As long as I am happy with my performances and with the goals I reach through each play I am in, then I have nothing to worry about. I am going through major play withdrawel. I miss my fellow cast members. I miss late nights acting and improving. I miss acting in a play. I miss my passion. Thank God I found something I enjoy doing. I guess I can say thank God for allowing me to find several things I am passionate about. The other day I asked one of my new friends what her interests are and she responded with a huge list of things. Some were big and the others were very small. The simpilest things made up her interests. I have to say she made me think. I thought about all of the things that make me happy. Everything from acting and drawing to my first cup of coffee in the morning or seeing the first snowfall of the season. I am glad to be alvie and have the ability to appreciate all of these things. We have to appreciate the things we love because we will not have them one day. We appreciate the things we love but respect the things we are not so fond of. I have an understanding for the things I do not enjoy because generally these are the things that make us who we are or push us to go furthur in life. They make us think or tell us to go in another direction. Everyday we are faced with something that scares us. So what if for every day we are alive.....we face those fears. Do one thing every day that scares you. I mean think about it if we conquer these fears, then we will be stronger. We could look back and say "Wow I actually did that." I did the one thing I thought I would never do. I grew up. I love challenging myself. Life is a challenge. I love life and all the good and bad parts of it. Here is to the holidays and remembering what life is really all about.