romanticizing commuter woes: on sangganong drivers and perverts
Yesterday was interesting.
For the second time in two week's time (and in my whole life), I flipped someone off.
Obviously it's not a ladylike thing to do (then again, I never claimed I was a lady) and one that I should be proud of (I'm not, for the record). But it was just one of those in-the-moment kind of things. It's already happened and, therefore, I cannot do anything about that anymore. Cab driver apparently didn't know where the PICC was so he, with that excuse, tried to drop me off at the CCP. I know the establishments are within the same complex, but seriously? You'll make me walk? That defeats the purpose of me taking a cab going somewhere, now, doesn't it? It didn't help that I was already bubbling with slight anger since we had just spent the last 30 minutes going around the sidestreets of Makati from Reposo before I even got a glimpse of the main road again. For Christ's sake, I was trying to get to a film conference at 1:30 PM (prior, I was at an impromptu press conference). It was almost 2 PM and we're still on the road. If you didn't know your way around, get a fucking GPS installed on your vehicle. Or a map. I don't care. Or better yet, find another job which won't require you to navigate roads and deal with people.
Seriously, cab drivers who do not know their way around (get that "From hell to any point of Luzon" scratched off the side of your car, then), who overcharge, who keep on complaining that their passenger's destination is "malayo," and who actually harass their passengers should just get themselves off the road.
And then the driver (who shall be referred to as "the fucker" from hereon) had the gall to make a snide comment as I was getting off the cab after his display of stupidity and callousness. Something about me getting "lalong pumapangit" because I'm mad.
I may not be drop-dead gorgeous, but hell I sure am a better looking person than you, Orc. But that's not the point. Anyone can call me pangit all day and I swear it won't affect my ego. I'm confident and content enough with my looks, thank you very much. And just what kind of insult is that? What grade are you in? What pissed me off is that despite every failure he did as a driver, he had the fucking guts to do further damage to the already strained driver-passenger relationship.
Hence, the finger. Every emotion, every insulting statement, summed up with the simple raise of my middle digit.
As I was talking to a security guard to ask for directions as to where the conference was being held, I could vaguely hear the fucker screaming his lungs out. Apparently my manicured, be-ringed stunt pissed the hell out of him. I really couldn't hear what he was saying, only that I could hear him making a racket. When I finally got the directions, I walked up to the main entrance.
And lo and behold, halfway there the fucker - it appears he took his precious time to go around the perimeter of the PICC - caught up with me. I wasn't watching him, but I noticed a cab pulling over by the sidewalk and the fucker going out to stand and scream by the driver's side.
Maybe it was because I was too preoccupied with trying to make it to the conference on time but oddly enough, it didn't rattle me as much as it would have any other person who could've been in my place. It was the first time someone had ever shouted and insulted me like that. The worst I got before this was "Para kang dragon," which was funny by the way and did not slight me at all. Not that I heard every word the fucker said; I only managed to catch "Ingudngod kita diyan eh!" (I looked and on my left was the fence surrounding the PICC. Bushes too) and him challenging me, "Ngayon ka mag-pakyu ngayon!" (lol so crass. "Pakyu," really?).
Oh, and picture this too. It happened right in front of PICC, in broad daylight, on an empty road. Naka-shades pa. So he was just really being very silly.
I looked at him directly on the face while I was walking (really, how I managed to walk calmly I will never understand), and he was just still screaming. It was all garbled to me. Until I turned away again after a few seconds and the last I heard was, "Bwiset!"
Not exactly threatening for a final word. Personally, uttering "bwiset!" when you're mad signifies that you're just that frustrated that you cannot do anything to make yourself feel better, less mad, and the other person just doesn't. give. the. slightest. fuck. about. your. feelings.
Too bad you dealt with me, fucker. I usually take pleasure in watching people frustratingly flip out. Maybe he was just trying to scare me, since I'm a female and he thinks I would just cower in fright. Pick someone your own size.
In all honesty, though, all I could think of that moment was, "OH MY GOD I HOPE HE DOESN'T JUMP ON ME AND JUST PUNCH THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME." I even took out my pepper spray just in case. Thankfully, he didn't and I was able to get to the conference just in time.
I admit part of this ruckus was my fault. Obviously. If I hadn't reacted the way I did, I would've avoided this whole thing. But then I was never one to let things pass when I'm wronged. You do not piss me off, especially if I had been calm the entire time you were being stupid and yet you really had to make me feel like an idiot and like everything was my fault. I'm generally civil with people, but just one teensy display of attitude brings out the bitch in me.
Still, the fucker remains to be the biggest douchebag I've ever had the misfortune to meet.
Now, about the first time I gave someone the finger.
It was to a teenage hooligan who was pestering me to give him spare change one night I left the office late because collaborative effort sucks . But that's not why I flipped him off. After I tried to brush him off (fucker number two was touching me. I do not welcome strangers getting too close and even brushing their skin with mine ugh) a couple of times, he still wouldn't stop.
And then he dropped the bomb.
Fucker asked me if he could fuck me instead.
I swear, if I had a table with me then I would've flipped it over. Right on his ugly, dirty, prepubescent face.
You may argue, "But he's just a teener." I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK. Kids these days are more knowledgeable than we have been when we were in their age. Plus, disrespect is disrespect no matter who does it. Anyway, kid just laughed and walked away... I guess. I didn't hear him say anything after that.
A few years back when I was in college, some manong who looked old enough to be my uncle made a comment about how "big" my hoo-ha was (I'M IN MY COLLEGE UNIFORM, YOU IDIOT. Oh well, I guess it's such a turn on for you to see a girl in uniform. One that looks like a highschooler's, you sicko) while I was waiting for an FX going to the LRT. He actually bent down on my level and whispered that to my ear. I was on my way to school then. I wasn't even doing anything but stand there. And then he just walked away.
I remember feeling the blood drain from my head with that comment. I was nicer back then; anger wasn't my default reaction. I was rattled, especially since it I've never experienced something like it before and that it happened literally close to home. I never told anyone about this. In an attempt to make things funny, at least to me, I just think that he probably just needed to release some tension off him.
Why me, though. Dude, why did you not just make kiskis sa pader or sa puno 'di ba?
And so mom wonders now why I liked to listen to my iPod while commuting. It's unsafe, she scolds me. As much as I love my gadgets, I'd father rather lose them than hear anything that would set me off. That, and firstly because I just love listening to music all the time. Anyway, I hate hearing these things because they stay in my mind longer than I would've liked them to. I do not like the feeling at all, I do not like dealing with them. I don't know about you, but I hate getting insulted like this. I hate feeling helpless because I fear they'd physically really do something to me when all I did was give them the finger after they said really demeaning things. I need to retaliate somehow.
Whoa, dramallama.
I don't understand why such people exist. From the bottom of my heart, I hope they die slowly, miserably, alone, without so much as having the chance to redeem themselves. If I were president of this country, I would've made any sexually-related and women/children-abuse crime punishable mainly by castration. And then I'd make their jail time transferable to their next of kin (offspring, parents if no offspring... you know the drill) if they be given, say, 13 counts of lifetime sentence.
PS. Wow. Writing this post made me realize that if I had been any sensitive, I would've bawled my eyes out already because these things seemed to have somehow reduced my value as a female. Frankly, I do feel that way right now. Not bawling, though.
PPS. I am trying to just live with these things. I shouldn't be. I know other people had it worse than I do; still, this makes me feel bad. Period.
For the second time in two week's time (and in my whole life), I flipped someone off.
Obviously it's not a ladylike thing to do (then again, I never claimed I was a lady) and one that I should be proud of (I'm not, for the record). But it was just one of those in-the-moment kind of things. It's already happened and, therefore, I cannot do anything about that anymore. Cab driver apparently didn't know where the PICC was so he, with that excuse, tried to drop me off at the CCP. I know the establishments are within the same complex, but seriously? You'll make me walk? That defeats the purpose of me taking a cab going somewhere, now, doesn't it? It didn't help that I was already bubbling with slight anger since we had just spent the last 30 minutes going around the sidestreets of Makati from Reposo before I even got a glimpse of the main road again. For Christ's sake, I was trying to get to a film conference at 1:30 PM (prior, I was at an impromptu press conference). It was almost 2 PM and we're still on the road. If you didn't know your way around, get a fucking GPS installed on your vehicle. Or a map. I don't care. Or better yet, find another job which won't require you to navigate roads and deal with people.
Seriously, cab drivers who do not know their way around (get that "From hell to any point of Luzon" scratched off the side of your car, then), who overcharge, who keep on complaining that their passenger's destination is "malayo," and who actually harass their passengers should just get themselves off the road.
And then the driver (who shall be referred to as "the fucker" from hereon) had the gall to make a snide comment as I was getting off the cab after his display of stupidity and callousness. Something about me getting "lalong pumapangit" because I'm mad.
I may not be drop-dead gorgeous, but hell I sure am a better looking person than you, Orc. But that's not the point. Anyone can call me pangit all day and I swear it won't affect my ego. I'm confident and content enough with my looks, thank you very much. And just what kind of insult is that? What grade are you in? What pissed me off is that despite every failure he did as a driver, he had the fucking guts to do further damage to the already strained driver-passenger relationship.
Hence, the finger. Every emotion, every insulting statement, summed up with the simple raise of my middle digit.
As I was talking to a security guard to ask for directions as to where the conference was being held, I could vaguely hear the fucker screaming his lungs out. Apparently my manicured, be-ringed stunt pissed the hell out of him. I really couldn't hear what he was saying, only that I could hear him making a racket. When I finally got the directions, I walked up to the main entrance.
And lo and behold, halfway there the fucker - it appears he took his precious time to go around the perimeter of the PICC - caught up with me. I wasn't watching him, but I noticed a cab pulling over by the sidewalk and the fucker going out to stand and scream by the driver's side.
Maybe it was because I was too preoccupied with trying to make it to the conference on time but oddly enough, it didn't rattle me as much as it would have any other person who could've been in my place. It was the first time someone had ever shouted and insulted me like that. The worst I got before this was "Para kang dragon," which was funny by the way and did not slight me at all. Not that I heard every word the fucker said; I only managed to catch "Ingudngod kita diyan eh!" (I looked and on my left was the fence surrounding the PICC. Bushes too) and him challenging me, "Ngayon ka mag-pakyu ngayon!" (lol so crass. "Pakyu," really?).
Oh, and picture this too. It happened right in front of PICC, in broad daylight, on an empty road. Naka-shades pa. So he was just really being very silly.
I looked at him directly on the face while I was walking (really, how I managed to walk calmly I will never understand), and he was just still screaming. It was all garbled to me. Until I turned away again after a few seconds and the last I heard was, "Bwiset!"
Not exactly threatening for a final word. Personally, uttering "bwiset!" when you're mad signifies that you're just that frustrated that you cannot do anything to make yourself feel better, less mad, and the other person just doesn't. give. the. slightest. fuck. about. your. feelings.
Too bad you dealt with me, fucker. I usually take pleasure in watching people frustratingly flip out. Maybe he was just trying to scare me, since I'm a female and he thinks I would just cower in fright. Pick someone your own size.
In all honesty, though, all I could think of that moment was, "OH MY GOD I HOPE HE DOESN'T JUMP ON ME AND JUST PUNCH THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME." I even took out my pepper spray just in case. Thankfully, he didn't and I was able to get to the conference just in time.
I admit part of this ruckus was my fault. Obviously. If I hadn't reacted the way I did, I would've avoided this whole thing. But then I was never one to let things pass when I'm wronged. You do not piss me off, especially if I had been calm the entire time you were being stupid and yet you really had to make me feel like an idiot and like everything was my fault. I'm generally civil with people, but just one teensy display of attitude brings out the bitch in me.
Still, the fucker remains to be the biggest douchebag I've ever had the misfortune to meet.
Now, about the first time I gave someone the finger.
It was to a teenage hooligan who was pestering me to give him spare change one night I left the office late because collaborative effort sucks . But that's not why I flipped him off. After I tried to brush him off (fucker number two was touching me. I do not welcome strangers getting too close and even brushing their skin with mine ugh) a couple of times, he still wouldn't stop.
And then he dropped the bomb.
Fucker asked me if he could fuck me instead.
I swear, if I had a table with me then I would've flipped it over. Right on his ugly, dirty, prepubescent face.
You may argue, "But he's just a teener." I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK. Kids these days are more knowledgeable than we have been when we were in their age. Plus, disrespect is disrespect no matter who does it. Anyway, kid just laughed and walked away... I guess. I didn't hear him say anything after that.
A few years back when I was in college, some manong who looked old enough to be my uncle made a comment about how "big" my hoo-ha was (I'M IN MY COLLEGE UNIFORM, YOU IDIOT. Oh well, I guess it's such a turn on for you to see a girl in uniform. One that looks like a highschooler's, you sicko) while I was waiting for an FX going to the LRT. He actually bent down on my level and whispered that to my ear. I was on my way to school then. I wasn't even doing anything but stand there. And then he just walked away.
I remember feeling the blood drain from my head with that comment. I was nicer back then; anger wasn't my default reaction. I was rattled, especially since it I've never experienced something like it before and that it happened literally close to home. I never told anyone about this. In an attempt to make things funny, at least to me, I just think that he probably just needed to release some tension off him.
Why me, though. Dude, why did you not just make kiskis sa pader or sa puno 'di ba?
And so mom wonders now why I liked to listen to my iPod while commuting. It's unsafe, she scolds me. As much as I love my gadgets, I'd father rather lose them than hear anything that would set me off. That, and firstly because I just love listening to music all the time. Anyway, I hate hearing these things because they stay in my mind longer than I would've liked them to. I do not like the feeling at all, I do not like dealing with them. I don't know about you, but I hate getting insulted like this. I hate feeling helpless because I fear they'd physically really do something to me when all I did was give them the finger after they said really demeaning things. I need to retaliate somehow.
Whoa, dramallama.
I don't understand why such people exist. From the bottom of my heart, I hope they die slowly, miserably, alone, without so much as having the chance to redeem themselves. If I were president of this country, I would've made any sexually-related and women/children-abuse crime punishable mainly by castration. And then I'd make their jail time transferable to their next of kin (offspring, parents if no offspring... you know the drill) if they be given, say, 13 counts of lifetime sentence.
PS. Wow. Writing this post made me realize that if I had been any sensitive, I would've bawled my eyes out already because these things seemed to have somehow reduced my value as a female. Frankly, I do feel that way right now. Not bawling, though.
PPS. I am trying to just live with these things. I shouldn't be. I know other people had it worse than I do; still, this makes me feel bad. Period.