One DUI w/ a side of Mi Vida Loca to-go please
This guy in front of me this morning is begging for a field sobriety test.
I can see him now, wolfing down his Double-Double Animal Style, washing it down with a whiskey filled flask shaped like a Hot Wheels wheel, swerving down 880 - when the lights go on.
Speaking of lights going on... My friends were on their way back from playing a show out in the city the other night when they clipped a car next to them trying to get over to the slow lane. All of a sudden the other car TURNS ON THEIR LIGHTS (yes, their lights were OFF) and they fly around up on their driver side window dawning GUNS. Yep. Guns. Awesome.
They are screaming for my friends to pull over so they exited pulling right up next to a cop. (whew) The thug ass muther fuckers drove off so my friends didn't bother with the cop (the driver didn't want to risk blowing over .08 - which we all know is easy to do) As they continued on, sure enough... all of a sudden Sad Boy, El Duran, Big Sleepy and Shadow come driving back up with their cuetes forcing my friends to pull over. One of my friends owns a bar so he does most the talking as he's used to cooling down the drunk hot head dude brahs on a daily basis. They kept saying "we're gonna kill you muther fuckers!" and my friend says, "we don't want any trouble, it's a pretty small ding and clearly you guys don't want the cops involved so why don't I just give you some cash and we call it even." Luckily he had $200 in his pocket. One of them is like "He gonna cash us OUT!" and the one with the gun was like "no way I'm'unna kill these mutha fuckas!!" - My friend hands over the cash and the putas (get this) WALK off - LEAVING THEIR CAR BEHIND. So yeah, the car they had was STOLEN and they most likely PLANNED the whole thing - the whole lights off - driving in the blind spot deal. Yup. FUCKIN HAD.
So lame.
(makes a guy with a JD sticker look pretty awesome - don't it)
I can see him now, wolfing down his Double-Double Animal Style, washing it down with a whiskey filled flask shaped like a Hot Wheels wheel, swerving down 880 - when the lights go on.
Speaking of lights going on... My friends were on their way back from playing a show out in the city the other night when they clipped a car next to them trying to get over to the slow lane. All of a sudden the other car TURNS ON THEIR LIGHTS (yes, their lights were OFF) and they fly around up on their driver side window dawning GUNS. Yep. Guns. Awesome.
They are screaming for my friends to pull over so they exited pulling right up next to a cop. (whew) The thug ass muther fuckers drove off so my friends didn't bother with the cop (the driver didn't want to risk blowing over .08 - which we all know is easy to do) As they continued on, sure enough... all of a sudden Sad Boy, El Duran, Big Sleepy and Shadow come driving back up with their cuetes forcing my friends to pull over. One of my friends owns a bar so he does most the talking as he's used to cooling down the drunk hot head dude brahs on a daily basis. They kept saying "we're gonna kill you muther fuckers!" and my friend says, "we don't want any trouble, it's a pretty small ding and clearly you guys don't want the cops involved so why don't I just give you some cash and we call it even." Luckily he had $200 in his pocket. One of them is like "He gonna cash us OUT!" and the one with the gun was like "no way I'm'unna kill these mutha fuckas!!" - My friend hands over the cash and the putas (get this) WALK off - LEAVING THEIR CAR BEHIND. So yeah, the car they had was STOLEN and they most likely PLANNED the whole thing - the whole lights off - driving in the blind spot deal. Yup. FUCKIN HAD.
So lame.
(makes a guy with a JD sticker look pretty awesome - don't it)