A rare occasion.
I called in sick to work. I probably put the supervisors in a state of shock, but hey if your not feeling well, what can you do. I have sick time I need to use anyway. Merrill has been good so far. Even though he annoys me at times, he is a good guy and would like for him to attact more friends instead of luring them away. My friend Allis from choir sent me a (late) Christmas card with an ornament. It was so beautiful and so nice of her to do that. Even if it is late. But being late is the theme of Allis's life. But it did make my day. Well I've put aside the fact that NOVA will hire me. So I'm trying to figure out where to go next. Hugh, my chaplain called with a very nice prayer about letting go of the things that no longer serve us. I've come into rehersal with tears in my eyes too many times. Of course Suzan always threatens to make me laugh. Of course the music just makes it even more emotional. Especially 'Shine for you". All I can do is shine for God. Even though nobody else welcomes it. Somewhere there is an employer who needs what I have to give and welcomes it. Speaking of laughs I found a funny joke on a website ahajokes.com. It was A choristers guide to keeping the conductor in line. Which we can at times. It's amazing how he deals with us. Anyway I sent it to him and he sent it to the rest of the choir. I wonder if they get a good laugh and actually do those things listed. For all you choir singers and conductors, this is for you.
A Choristers' Guide To Keeping Conductors In Line
The basic training of every singer should, of course, include myriad types
of practical and theoretical emphases. One important area which is often
neglected, however, is the art of one-upmanship. The following rules are
intended as guides to the development of habits which will promote the
proper type of relationship between singer and conductor.
1. Never be satisfied with the starting pitch. If the conductor uses a
pitch-pipe, make known your preference for pitches from the piano and
vice-versa.
2. Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting,
crowded space, and of a draft. It's best to do this when the conductor is
under pressure.
3. Bury your head in the music just before cues.
4. Ask for a re-audition or seating change. Ask often. Give the impression
you're about to quit. Let the conductor know you're there as a personal
favour.
5. Loudly clear your throat during pauses (tenors are trained to do this
from birth). Quiet instrumental interludes are a good chance to blow your
nose.
6. Long after a passage has gone by, ask the conductor if your C# was in
tune. This is especially effective if you had no C# or were not singing at
the time.
7. At dramatic moments in the music (which the conductor is emoting), be
busy marking your music so that the climaxes will sound empty and
disappointing.
8. Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know that
you don't have the music.
9. Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.
10. When possible, sing your part either an octave above or below what is
written. This is excellent ear-training for the conductor. If he hears the
pitch, deny it vehemently and claim that it must have been the combination
tone.
11. Tell the conductor, "I can't find the beat." Conductors are
always
sensitive about their "stick technique" so challenge it frequently.
12. If you are singing in a language with which the conductor is the least
bit unfamiliar, ask her as many questions as possible about the meaning of
individual words. If this fails, ask her about the pronunciation of the most
difficult words. Occasionally, say the word twice and ask her preference,
making to say it exactly the same both times. If she remarks on their
similarity, give her a look of utter disdain and mumble under your breath
about the "subtleties of inflection".
13. Ask the conductor if he has listened to the von Karajan recording of the
piece. Imply that he could learn a thing or two from it. Also good: ask,
"Is
this the first time you've conducted this piece?"
14. If your articulation differs from that of others singing the same
phrase, stick to your guns. Do not ask the conductor which is correct until
backstage just before the concert.
15. Find an excuse to leave the rehearsal about 15 minutes early so that
others will become restless and start to fidget.
Make every effort to take the attention away from the podium and put it on
you, where it belongs!
A Choristers' Guide To Keeping Conductors In Line
The basic training of every singer should, of course, include myriad types
of practical and theoretical emphases. One important area which is often
neglected, however, is the art of one-upmanship. The following rules are
intended as guides to the development of habits which will promote the
proper type of relationship between singer and conductor.
1. Never be satisfied with the starting pitch. If the conductor uses a
pitch-pipe, make known your preference for pitches from the piano and
vice-versa.
2. Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting,
crowded space, and of a draft. It's best to do this when the conductor is
under pressure.
3. Bury your head in the music just before cues.
4. Ask for a re-audition or seating change. Ask often. Give the impression
you're about to quit. Let the conductor know you're there as a personal
favour.
5. Loudly clear your throat during pauses (tenors are trained to do this
from birth). Quiet instrumental interludes are a good chance to blow your
nose.
6. Long after a passage has gone by, ask the conductor if your C# was in
tune. This is especially effective if you had no C# or were not singing at
the time.
7. At dramatic moments in the music (which the conductor is emoting), be
busy marking your music so that the climaxes will sound empty and
disappointing.
8. Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know that
you don't have the music.
9. Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.
10. When possible, sing your part either an octave above or below what is
written. This is excellent ear-training for the conductor. If he hears the
pitch, deny it vehemently and claim that it must have been the combination
tone.
11. Tell the conductor, "I can't find the beat." Conductors are
always
sensitive about their "stick technique" so challenge it frequently.
12. If you are singing in a language with which the conductor is the least
bit unfamiliar, ask her as many questions as possible about the meaning of
individual words. If this fails, ask her about the pronunciation of the most
difficult words. Occasionally, say the word twice and ask her preference,
making to say it exactly the same both times. If she remarks on their
similarity, give her a look of utter disdain and mumble under your breath
about the "subtleties of inflection".
13. Ask the conductor if he has listened to the von Karajan recording of the
piece. Imply that he could learn a thing or two from it. Also good: ask,
"Is
this the first time you've conducted this piece?"
14. If your articulation differs from that of others singing the same
phrase, stick to your guns. Do not ask the conductor which is correct until
backstage just before the concert.
15. Find an excuse to leave the rehearsal about 15 minutes early so that
others will become restless and start to fidget.
Make every effort to take the attention away from the podium and put it on
you, where it belongs!