Struggling back from Wizard Land
I'm an addict. One of those pathetic addicts. I've been doing , well, not much but playing Wizard 101 for weeks now. Last week was particulary bad because I was in a funk and the game wasn't even fun anymore. I'm not even talking a gloriously bad and brightly technicolor disco funk you can dance badly to, either. No, I'm talking about crying jags and aches and sleeping too much. I need to check in with my therapist and see if she's back from vacation, because I just felt bad.
I'm feeling a little better, and I've decided to make a major life decision. My skin hates the sun. I often fall asleep during the day. I'm taking the hint and becoming nocturnal. I went for a walk last night and the air was lovely, the stars were beautiful. I consider myself blessed that I have the leeway to make this decision. I went to bed at 3 last night and got up at 10, and I feel much more lucid and even a little more social.
With this, I feel that I have to say something. Once upon a time ago, I referred to some truly cool music as a "guilty pleasure". It made me sound like I didn't respect it. I took some time to think about it and realized that most of my pleasures have been guilty. Not because I thought they were "so bad they were good", because that's what real "guilty pleasures" are, but because I was worried about what other people thought. Dungeons and dragons-type '80's metal, like Dio, and pop-metal like, say, Poison and Def Leppard and Motley Crue, have been dogged by so many people as cheesy, but I don't really think so. It's just that the overwhelming opinion of others has tainted my enjoyment of these things. It comes of having been picked on for everything from my walk, to my inability to control my emotions, to my clothes and my music, from the time I could remember. I let it sink in. And it's tainted my enjoyment of things ever since.
My young friends, never let this happen to you. If it makes you happy and it's not hurting anyone, it's not cheesy, or childish, or stupid. It brings you joy and joy is rare. Hold on to it. If you care about other people's opinions, remember that as many haters that here are out there, there are just as many or more "likers", like me, too shy to admit their preferences. You'll find your peeps eventually. If you don't, well, just enjoy yourself, don't be ashamed or embarrassed.
That being said, I don't think Geek is an ugly word. All it seems to mean anymore is anyone who's an enthusiastic fan of anything with an extensive amount of knowledge. There are Sci-fi Geeks and History geeks, but there are also Locomotive Geeks and even Sports Geeks (although Jocks and Geeks have always seemed to be diametrically opposed, if 80's movies are correct.) It seems like anyone with half a brain and a little imagination will always specialize in and have great enthusiasm for something. Vive le Geek!