I've finally found the lamest TV show ever...
...and it still hurts.
On Sunday, my good friend Selene invited bunch us to watch the worst ever TV show of all times. Apparently her mom is a fan and got the DVDs. She went on and on about how bad it was and that we just had to see it and there would be lots and lots of booze and we'd make a drinking game out of it. We were intrigued.
The rules of the game were simple. Every time someone said "I love you", we'd shoot up. Tequila was the choice of liquor for the evening. We thought to ourselves; "Oh well. How bad could it be?". So we said Okay.
Now that hindsight is 20/20, I can see this was where everything went to hell.
So we picked up a random season and a random disk.
By the end of the second episode, we had already done 9 shots.
Let me repeat that.
9 SHOTS IN TWO EPISODES.
So we decided to change the rules. After the second episode, the shoot phrase was "You are/he is/she is the one for me". Nothing too common, right?
Right.
I'm saddened to inform you that as of Monday December 29, 2008-3:00AM, I no longer posses a functional liver.
But I wish it was only my liver that died that night, my dear f-list. From now on, I should be threaded as a vampire. Because my soul is gone as well. Along with my faith in humanity. From now on, your dearest friend Lea can never walk in the sun and wear any color other than black. I can no longer laugh or even cry or enjoy a day in the beach. The human race has failed so they should be murdered brutally.
And this god awful show, my friends, is; One Tree Hill.
So lame is this show that for two episodes noone had a spouse. How many ILUs? 6. So fucked up was the acting that I'm 100% convinced that the director told the actors to be the lamest they can be. So painful the plot was that I'm pretty sure the writers were either too sober or too high. I can fart something better than that show after two joints with three shots of whiskey. In fact, if all the actors did nothing but fart through all episodes, it would still make a better show. That's how bad it was.
Although, I must say, there was this one subplot piece that made us laugh because of a parallel between me these characters; Rachel and Jake and Brooke. Brooke and Jake are lovers but they have a falling out. So Jake asks out Rachel to make Brooke jealous and Rachel plays along.
Same thing happened to me back in Sophomore. I was Rachel! And she is a red-head ! (I don't know why that excites me. I guess being a red-head is like being a member of a very exclusive club.) And it went terribly wrong, just as it did with Rachel and Brooke and Jake.
If you ever find yourself in Rachel's position, DO NOT GET INVOLVED! Sure, it seems like a great idea at first. You get to flirt with a (in my case; cute) boy..; Chaste kisses and light touching..; And when the lovers inevitably get back together, you can always claim credit for their great love.
But that never happens.
In Rachel case, she decided she wanted Jake for herself. In my case, my new "squeeze" decided he liked me better. Either way, we both ended up being perceived as boyfriend-stealing, backstabbing whores and had to deal with psycho ex girlfriends gunning for us. Except in my case I had no intention to steal anyone's boyfriend. Besides, despite being cute, he was also blond. Blonds ain't my type. I've never dated a blond guy before. And I never will. So my squeeze ended up losing both his ex girlfriend AND fake girl friend.
So what did we learn today? We should NEVER watch anything on WB. They've wasted all their creative energy on Buffy and Angel and now they suck more balls than hookers in the Bronx.
Let that be a lesson to you, f-list.
On Sunday, my good friend Selene invited bunch us to watch the worst ever TV show of all times. Apparently her mom is a fan and got the DVDs. She went on and on about how bad it was and that we just had to see it and there would be lots and lots of booze and we'd make a drinking game out of it. We were intrigued.
The rules of the game were simple. Every time someone said "I love you", we'd shoot up. Tequila was the choice of liquor for the evening. We thought to ourselves; "Oh well. How bad could it be?". So we said Okay.
Now that hindsight is 20/20, I can see this was where everything went to hell.
So we picked up a random season and a random disk.
By the end of the second episode, we had already done 9 shots.
Let me repeat that.
9 SHOTS IN TWO EPISODES.
So we decided to change the rules. After the second episode, the shoot phrase was "You are/he is/she is the one for me". Nothing too common, right?
Right.
I'm saddened to inform you that as of Monday December 29, 2008-3:00AM, I no longer posses a functional liver.
But I wish it was only my liver that died that night, my dear f-list. From now on, I should be threaded as a vampire. Because my soul is gone as well. Along with my faith in humanity. From now on, your dearest friend Lea can never walk in the sun and wear any color other than black. I can no longer laugh or even cry or enjoy a day in the beach. The human race has failed so they should be murdered brutally.
And this god awful show, my friends, is; One Tree Hill.
So lame is this show that for two episodes noone had a spouse. How many ILUs? 6. So fucked up was the acting that I'm 100% convinced that the director told the actors to be the lamest they can be. So painful the plot was that I'm pretty sure the writers were either too sober or too high. I can fart something better than that show after two joints with three shots of whiskey. In fact, if all the actors did nothing but fart through all episodes, it would still make a better show. That's how bad it was.
Although, I must say, there was this one subplot piece that made us laugh because of a parallel between me these characters; Rachel and Jake and Brooke. Brooke and Jake are lovers but they have a falling out. So Jake asks out Rachel to make Brooke jealous and Rachel plays along.
Same thing happened to me back in Sophomore. I was Rachel! And she is a red-head ! (I don't know why that excites me. I guess being a red-head is like being a member of a very exclusive club.) And it went terribly wrong, just as it did with Rachel and Brooke and Jake.
If you ever find yourself in Rachel's position, DO NOT GET INVOLVED! Sure, it seems like a great idea at first. You get to flirt with a (in my case; cute) boy..; Chaste kisses and light touching..; And when the lovers inevitably get back together, you can always claim credit for their great love.
But that never happens.
In Rachel case, she decided she wanted Jake for herself. In my case, my new "squeeze" decided he liked me better. Either way, we both ended up being perceived as boyfriend-stealing, backstabbing whores and had to deal with psycho ex girlfriends gunning for us. Except in my case I had no intention to steal anyone's boyfriend. Besides, despite being cute, he was also blond. Blonds ain't my type. I've never dated a blond guy before. And I never will. So my squeeze ended up losing both his ex girlfriend AND fake girl friend.
So what did we learn today? We should NEVER watch anything on WB. They've wasted all their creative energy on Buffy and Angel and now they suck more balls than hookers in the Bronx.
Let that be a lesson to you, f-list.