Tired Mind
For the past few months, I have been trying to separate my anxiety from work from my home life, unsuccessfully. Last night I realized how much I used to love coming into work and how it was uplifting, now it is just evil unrestrained stress. For the past month, I haven't been able to separate it, as I should. I need to find a new job or I need this job to stop causing me so much pain. It is getting too much.
I just went to lunch with one of my friends here. He said I should continue to look at other options, but he made me feel a bit more secure about my position here. That will be a relief to Chuck, as my mood has been a bit erratic lately. I have been lashing out at him and been unable to concentrate on any of my favorite books and TV shows. I have been overly emotional also. Everything seems to get me in tears or angry. I wish I had a place that I could go to reflect and think everything through. I really haven’t had that for a long time. I used to be able to go away for a bit when I was at NERO, but Chuck and I haven’t had the money to do that. The only other place was at NIU, and I dread going out there; there was a little lagoon where I would sit and watch the ducks and geese. It was peaceful. I need to find that kind of peace again. It was easy when I was younger; I would draw a bath and just soak for a long time in the tub.
The purpose of this post is not to rant, but to get my feelings out in the open.
I just went to lunch with one of my friends here. He said I should continue to look at other options, but he made me feel a bit more secure about my position here. That will be a relief to Chuck, as my mood has been a bit erratic lately. I have been lashing out at him and been unable to concentrate on any of my favorite books and TV shows. I have been overly emotional also. Everything seems to get me in tears or angry. I wish I had a place that I could go to reflect and think everything through. I really haven’t had that for a long time. I used to be able to go away for a bit when I was at NERO, but Chuck and I haven’t had the money to do that. The only other place was at NIU, and I dread going out there; there was a little lagoon where I would sit and watch the ducks and geese. It was peaceful. I need to find that kind of peace again. It was easy when I was younger; I would draw a bath and just soak for a long time in the tub.
The purpose of this post is not to rant, but to get my feelings out in the open.