if anything should happen we'll be sure to give a ring

[juliatherese]

something awakes you at mid-afternoon, maybe four, maybe five- you've lost count and the clock broke last month. you struggle but can't recall the last time you've showered, or why you ever thought it necessary to leave your bed. the smell of your sweat turns your stomach and you hazily think about flesh, or wine, or- anything that might help you forget how this feels, but you're too tired to care and fall to the pillow like lead. how many different ways can one express the same emotion?
how many names are there for apathy? fear? emptiness? destruction?
and when will they ever relent?