there are some mornings when the sky looks like a road
tonight i caught sight of an enormous yellow moon. mesmerized for minutes or hours i realized i knew little to nothing of the phases of the moon and of when it will rise so flawlessly and round and bright again, so i wandered in to research. in nine minutes i've charted the moons of my (almost) nineteen years, and i suddenly just feel so... tiny, tiny but vast, and ephemeral, ephemeral but eternal. just suddenly aware as though never before of the billions before me below me behind me, and feeling as silent as that thin cloud stretched across sky, endless left to endless right and softly veiling the amber blaze above. aware of my mortality and aware that i may grieve and grow and shatter and strengthen a thousand times over but in a moment of time i can document four thousand years of the everchanging, neverchanging cycles of the moon, rising and falling and filling and fading four thousand years after i die. and i may have this century or i may just have tomorrow but no matter when i pass those phases will never waver so if my life must be so small it must be beautiful as well, {and it is, can't i remember that it is ?} there's more to this, this vague notion in my mind and i don't know that i conveyed it the way that i planned and i've no want of sleep now with life to embrace and i've no time to waste but it's my best friend's birthday and you should know that she's luminous and god i love her endlessly and the waterfall is ours today and i'm singing at dusk and there's fireworks , {my favourite !!!!!!!} and so goodnight, x.