Because of you...
So tomorrow is my big day. Why am I fearing it more than anything that I've feared before? I just want to ask myself, Why do I always doubt myself? I haven't quite figured that out yet. So here's a few lines before I head out with my family. Wow, a late night.
I'm feeling like shit, Bloated, sick to my stomache, crampy, and no it's not PMS. My face is pale and all broken out. I bought new make-up and the way I wanted to apply it, won't work. Wanted to wear my hair curly, that went BAAAD. Bought two dresses, and one skirt and I'm not happy with any of them. I feel fat and ugly. Why, why me RIGHT before my big day? I just don't understand.
I'm moody and snappy. Say something to me I dare you. Not to mention I have to miss the 50's party tonight with Megs.
So yeah for having one of the biggest moments of my life flash before me tomorrow, I'm pretty bummed out. I've gone to school for 13 years to have graduation, so why isn't it sinking in yet?
I fell in love with a guy in highschool, I wish I hadn't. I'll miss him. But I won't let it get too me.
Today I called my grandmother. I was calling to see what time my Papa was picking me up for both Grad and service on Sunday. I haven't talked to my Nana in weeks because she's been so bed bound because of her sickness which is only getting worse. She talked to me. I was so excited to hear her voice having all intentions she was too sick to attend my ceremony tomorrow. She said to me, "Good luck tomorrow" Then she busted into tears, "I really wanted to be there....This is what I lived for....I just...wanted to be there" So I broke out into tears. I couldn't help it. Within a span of 5 minutes, three words were spoken through tears "I love you" I told her it was going to be okay and that I understood but she responded, "I just want to be there" I couldn't listen to her cry, I couldn't take it. Tomorrow this one is for you Nana. I'm wearing a bright yellow (cancer) nailpolish tomorrow for my grandmother and a neckless she gave me. it's my support for her. I love her more than anything in this world, and I don't know what I'd do without her.
Tomorrow will be good once it's done and over with, until then it's dinner time and Julia needs to calm down.
I'm feeling like shit, Bloated, sick to my stomache, crampy, and no it's not PMS. My face is pale and all broken out. I bought new make-up and the way I wanted to apply it, won't work. Wanted to wear my hair curly, that went BAAAD. Bought two dresses, and one skirt and I'm not happy with any of them. I feel fat and ugly. Why, why me RIGHT before my big day? I just don't understand.
I'm moody and snappy. Say something to me I dare you. Not to mention I have to miss the 50's party tonight with Megs.
So yeah for having one of the biggest moments of my life flash before me tomorrow, I'm pretty bummed out. I've gone to school for 13 years to have graduation, so why isn't it sinking in yet?
I fell in love with a guy in highschool, I wish I hadn't. I'll miss him. But I won't let it get too me.
Today I called my grandmother. I was calling to see what time my Papa was picking me up for both Grad and service on Sunday. I haven't talked to my Nana in weeks because she's been so bed bound because of her sickness which is only getting worse. She talked to me. I was so excited to hear her voice having all intentions she was too sick to attend my ceremony tomorrow. She said to me, "Good luck tomorrow" Then she busted into tears, "I really wanted to be there....This is what I lived for....I just...wanted to be there" So I broke out into tears. I couldn't help it. Within a span of 5 minutes, three words were spoken through tears "I love you" I told her it was going to be okay and that I understood but she responded, "I just want to be there" I couldn't listen to her cry, I couldn't take it. Tomorrow this one is for you Nana. I'm wearing a bright yellow (cancer) nailpolish tomorrow for my grandmother and a neckless she gave me. it's my support for her. I love her more than anything in this world, and I don't know what I'd do without her.
Tomorrow will be good once it's done and over with, until then it's dinner time and Julia needs to calm down.