(no subject)
Reading Amanda's post really got me thinking, the conversation I had last night really got me thinking as well. It's so awesome to have a conversation with someone who is totally different from you in each and every aspect, and be able to sit there and have a 3 hour conversation with someone and be able to share openly what you believe, and have someone really sit and want to know more about it, but at the same time it was really hard for me to be able to do that, because I have lost what I used to have that was so strong and powerful. I was scared to share my beliefs, nervous, not knowing what to say. When I got stumped on a question my friend asked me, it really made me think. Wow I want to get back on track, I want to be closer to God and be able to share openly and yet confidently as well. 2005 was a crazy year for me, I tried to grow up in so many ways, but taking the wrong approach to things.
"When you really do some soul searching, you find a lot of things you thought you were doing right were not up to par."
Amanda that is so true, I used to want everythign to be so perfect, but yet when God tested my patients I failed because I always looked for the quick fix to things. Did something wrong, "God please forgive me" but did I really mean that. No because the next day/week/month/year, I find myself falling into the same traps, the same sin. Or even things that aren't nessicarly bad/sin, just things you think seem harmless that could really affect your life. You need to make decisions that will give you a bright future. Let friends go that have a bad influence on you, choose friends that will do nothing but be honest with you and encouagre you 100% along your way, friends that are accountable. It saddness me when I see what I used to have in friends...not saying I don't have WONDERFUL AMAZING FRIENDS NOW...that I love and they are so amazing, and I wouldnt be the person I am today without them) but I have lost touch with so many good friends I used to have that I really hate that. My goal this year is to get back in touch with them, and really find out who I am all over again. When your doing somethign that seems right, you just have to think how is it benifiting yourself and others...a positive or negitive way?
This past year I have learned a lot, i believe you can and do learn from your mistakes, one being in the aspects of relationships. I wanted a boyfriend so bad, because I'm like Julie Hollon, I was always the girl that was just friends with all the guys, I was "one of the guys" then I came acorss a guy who really liked me, that we just connected so well, and everything seemed to be perfect, well of course we rushed into things and things didn't work out. Not for my fault, or it wasn't even his fault. Timing, planning, preperation was the things they messed up our realationship. We have overcome that weird, akward stage after a breakup, and the funny things is now we get along even better than we did before. We are truely best friends, and I believe things will work out just fine.
Everyone says "Only time will tell," "Everything happens for a reason" sometimes it's hard to fathom that thought, because everyone wants what they want to happen, happen. One of my many downfalls is a look for the bad in a situation when I should look for the good, and figure out what I can do to either learn from my situation, or fix it. And this world is so fast paced no one wants to be paitent enough to wait for what is right. I have learned through many different situations this past year that I would rather wait for as long as needs to be and get hurt a little, rahter than do what I want at the moment and get hurt a lot, and not be able to trust people again, or what not.
God knows what I have in store ahead of me, and if I follow him and trust in him 100% with all my heart I know I will make it through. Amanda said it best when she said be IN the world but not OF the world. When I chose my living from day to day can people that don;t know me tell i'm a Christian, am I doing anything that stand out to them, thats what I want. I want to be different, be able to be happy, be able to give wisdom and advice to my friends, that will encouagre them, and make them feel good. The world does not understand the real meaning of confessing, because I will admit I was one of those people, that would ask for forgivness, and just take that for granted and catch myself doing the same thing like I said above. I want to change that.
Sorry for the rambling, I was just in a thinking mood today, and wanted to get some of this out...any comments, questions or concerns about be appericiated
"When you really do some soul searching, you find a lot of things you thought you were doing right were not up to par."
Amanda that is so true, I used to want everythign to be so perfect, but yet when God tested my patients I failed because I always looked for the quick fix to things. Did something wrong, "God please forgive me" but did I really mean that. No because the next day/week/month/year, I find myself falling into the same traps, the same sin. Or even things that aren't nessicarly bad/sin, just things you think seem harmless that could really affect your life. You need to make decisions that will give you a bright future. Let friends go that have a bad influence on you, choose friends that will do nothing but be honest with you and encouagre you 100% along your way, friends that are accountable. It saddness me when I see what I used to have in friends...not saying I don't have WONDERFUL AMAZING FRIENDS NOW...that I love and they are so amazing, and I wouldnt be the person I am today without them) but I have lost touch with so many good friends I used to have that I really hate that. My goal this year is to get back in touch with them, and really find out who I am all over again. When your doing somethign that seems right, you just have to think how is it benifiting yourself and others...a positive or negitive way?
This past year I have learned a lot, i believe you can and do learn from your mistakes, one being in the aspects of relationships. I wanted a boyfriend so bad, because I'm like Julie Hollon, I was always the girl that was just friends with all the guys, I was "one of the guys" then I came acorss a guy who really liked me, that we just connected so well, and everything seemed to be perfect, well of course we rushed into things and things didn't work out. Not for my fault, or it wasn't even his fault. Timing, planning, preperation was the things they messed up our realationship. We have overcome that weird, akward stage after a breakup, and the funny things is now we get along even better than we did before. We are truely best friends, and I believe things will work out just fine.
Everyone says "Only time will tell," "Everything happens for a reason" sometimes it's hard to fathom that thought, because everyone wants what they want to happen, happen. One of my many downfalls is a look for the bad in a situation when I should look for the good, and figure out what I can do to either learn from my situation, or fix it. And this world is so fast paced no one wants to be paitent enough to wait for what is right. I have learned through many different situations this past year that I would rather wait for as long as needs to be and get hurt a little, rahter than do what I want at the moment and get hurt a lot, and not be able to trust people again, or what not.
God knows what I have in store ahead of me, and if I follow him and trust in him 100% with all my heart I know I will make it through. Amanda said it best when she said be IN the world but not OF the world. When I chose my living from day to day can people that don;t know me tell i'm a Christian, am I doing anything that stand out to them, thats what I want. I want to be different, be able to be happy, be able to give wisdom and advice to my friends, that will encouagre them, and make them feel good. The world does not understand the real meaning of confessing, because I will admit I was one of those people, that would ask for forgivness, and just take that for granted and catch myself doing the same thing like I said above. I want to change that.
Sorry for the rambling, I was just in a thinking mood today, and wanted to get some of this out...any comments, questions or concerns about be appericiated