Late to the party, or, That "Are You A Professional Writer?" nonsense

[julian_griffith]

So, the idea that THIS is the ONLY WAY to be a professional writer has been pretty thoroughly debunked. Scalzi said it best: "Did you write something? Did you get paid for it? Congratulations, you're a professional writer!"

Nevertheless, I wanted to take a whack at these questions anyway, just to show you all my life.

1. Is your home/work place messy

Comments

[julian_griffith]

Of COURSE pictures. Lots of pictures. Like when I did the Seed Cake project.

I may actually have access to some pocket missals I can put in the kits. Those might be useful. Fringe benefits of decluttering a house (not mine) in which a devout aunt (not mine) used to live. Likewise some rosaries (though they may be too pretty just to put in the kits). I've already been told that a large heavy brass crucifix that once adorned the piano is NOT being part of the tag sale collection, but is to be kept in case of vampire attack, which seems reasonable to me. Even if the vampire proves to be a mortal burglar, it's a damned fine blunt instrument.

I am kicking myself for missing the week the wild roses flowered this summer. :(

Obviously I need to get a small sledgehammer/mallet for my own; I think that, because of shipping weight, I'll have to tell Jillian to provide her own staking mallet.

Should I just resign myself to periodically replacing the garlic for freshness, do you think?

And do I want to expand the kit to be multi-purpose and contain anti-werewolf ingredients? Silver bullets are prohibitive (although the temptation to casemod a toy to look like a proper saloon girl derringer is HIGH) but a vial of tincture of wolfsbane, just in case (lol, homeopathic aconitum in a pinch) seems logical.

I intended to get real holy water from a local Catholic church. I figured I'd probably have to do without wafers. Too much side-eye if I asked. Same problem with holy oil. Not generally distributed to laypeople.

Anything else you can think of that ought to be in it?

[naamah_darling]

Ohhhh, if you have not yet seen the Amazon reviews for the packaged host wafers you need to go read those, because they are fantastic. I wasn't aware you could just BUY them, but apparently it's not an issue until they've been consecrated.

I'm going to put some werewolf-hunting stuff in mine simply because I figure if you deal with the one, sooner or later you're going to have to deal with the other, and it's best to be prepared. Silver bullets are expensive in bulk, so I thought I might just get regular bullets (not live rounds) and silver-leaf the tips? Another neat idea would be to take spent shells and short lengths of a corresponding diameter dowel and carve wooden bullets of "holy oak" or something.

Proper mallets can be heavy! But I've seen people make passable versions by taking a cheap, lightweight wooden leatherworking mallet and distressing and antiquing it. Mark it up, maybe take some cord and bind some small crosses or whatnot to the sides of the head, around the haft in an x-shape? Carve a cross on the head, or inlay some sort of silver religious medal or something on the striking surface? (Possibly borderline disrespectful? But still a neat idea.)

Many of the stakes I see are really big, and while I love the look of those visually, they aren't favorable for driving through sternums or between ribs. I want to do silver-tipped stakes really badly. Possibly with portions of the Lord's Prayer burned along their length with a woodburning tool. I just have no metalworking experience.

I always thought that for werewolf pursuit, you'd want vials of something to drop in your trail that would throw them off the scent/hurt their noses enough that they'd have to regroup. Powdered wolfsbane, that sort of thing. I don't figure they'd be much bothered by red pepper? Ooooh, oooh, powdered wolfsbane mixed with powdered silver. It'd be easy to replicate safely with crushed lavender (the right color, roughly) and anything with silvery mica powder in it (jar pigments from the scrapbooking section, loose silver eyeshadow, etc.).

(And because I just watched the Ninja vs. Pirate episode of Deadliest Warrior, now I'm thinking of those hollow eggs full of glass powder, where you either throw them, or crush them in your fist and blow the powder into the enemy's face. DEADLY EASTER EGGS. VAMPIRE KILLING PYSANKY. Awww, shit, I may just have convinced myself that needs to be done.)

Silver nitrate for cauterizing bites! A period bottle with the old "lunar caustic" label would be so badass. I'd add some cut-down bamboo skewers and some rolled cotton wool in a cylindrical case for the DIY roll-your-own wound-cleaning swabs.

GARGH! There are so MANY things you could put into a big case, especially if you're willing to get creative and non-canonical and just go a little nuts with the idea.