(no subject)
so...now all of sudden everything has hit me and i'm crying.
i'm realizing that i'm not really sad to leave anything but all of you. i just think of the hours and years of time we've spent together and how we'll never spend taht much time together again.
and all the things we've done that have seemed so mundane and so boring and how the huge huge huge huge amount of time we've all spent together and how it's done. i'm sad i won't be seeing everyone for three months but more than that i'm just sad that i feel like this part of us is over.
and i'm sure its not...or taht people will say its not..but really it seems to be.
its just like...saying bye to brittany was realy hard because seeing her walk away from my house after an evening of not doing anything makes me realize how well i know her and how well she knows me and what a deep connection i feel. and i'm leaving that and when it comes back it could be completely different or gone.
its just like..i've spent so many classes sitting with all of you and gofing off or being at state or new york or model un assemblies or a million other things and now all of a sudden...we can relate only on a 'hanging out' level.
i think its just hard because i'm not all that close to my family...so i kind of see all of you as that. the only problem is that there is a garuntee that you'll always see your family but there is nothing like that here and its scary to think that things could kind of just fade.
like how one by one people are leaving...its just so depressing because things are dismanteling and disintagrating and who knows if it will ever come back together.
it really would be healthy if i could get to school already...becuase right now i am just experienceing being left and its really sad.
i'm realizing that i'm not really sad to leave anything but all of you. i just think of the hours and years of time we've spent together and how we'll never spend taht much time together again.
and all the things we've done that have seemed so mundane and so boring and how the huge huge huge huge amount of time we've all spent together and how it's done. i'm sad i won't be seeing everyone for three months but more than that i'm just sad that i feel like this part of us is over.
and i'm sure its not...or taht people will say its not..but really it seems to be.
its just like...saying bye to brittany was realy hard because seeing her walk away from my house after an evening of not doing anything makes me realize how well i know her and how well she knows me and what a deep connection i feel. and i'm leaving that and when it comes back it could be completely different or gone.
its just like..i've spent so many classes sitting with all of you and gofing off or being at state or new york or model un assemblies or a million other things and now all of a sudden...we can relate only on a 'hanging out' level.
i think its just hard because i'm not all that close to my family...so i kind of see all of you as that. the only problem is that there is a garuntee that you'll always see your family but there is nothing like that here and its scary to think that things could kind of just fade.
like how one by one people are leaving...its just so depressing because things are dismanteling and disintagrating and who knows if it will ever come back together.
it really would be healthy if i could get to school already...becuase right now i am just experienceing being left and its really sad.