Don't Cry, DeFoor
It's been a while since I needed alcohol just to get to sleep.
Even with the myriad of drugs sleep terrifies me.
Not only am I afraid of the horrors that await me, I am now afraid of what I might miss in those few hours that I'm not immersed in reality.
The weight on my shoulders is enough to break the back of of a strongman.
No matter the hours spent building my body at the gym, I'm still not strong enough.
Not strong enough for this.
Don't. Fucking. Cry.
I'm floating in a sea of misery and doubt.
Regretting the choice I made to not go home even if only for four days.
He's in so much pain and all I can do is remind him to breathe from his belly.
A bourbon with a splash.
Feel the burn rush down my chest.
Into my blood.
A handful of blue and pink pills.
The weight of my limbs is finally dragging me under.
The moral of the story is don't fucking cry.
Just. Don't. Cry.