A few thoughts
Had a very interesting conversation with a fellow PG student at a PG study room. It was apparent that the guy was having a real hard time finding his feet in this country, coping with stress caused by a not so happy relationship and expectations from his girlfriend. On top of that he is not sure whether he would find a job after he finishes his thesis and lots of other things that I can relate to. I tried to cheer him up and give some advice on trying to focus on the thesis, improve English communication skills and get more work experience. It seemed to me that our conversation helped him a bit - I hope it did. But as I'm writing this blog I understand how incredibly difficult it is to be able to focus on the things that your brain or rational mind is telling one to do and forget about all the 'noise'.
Getting a job offer and sorting out immigration paperwork is hard, but when one is having relationship issues in addition to those hardships it makes one feel so miserable and desperate. The other day I was talking about numerous support services that are available at local universities. And it's wonderful that they exist. However when one comes from a different environment where it is not common to ask for help and talk about private stuff to strangers, even though they might be professionals, these services can't reach those in need. The guy seemed ok talking to me and perhaps for he knew me and felt comfortable enough to share some personal stuff. But it struck me that relationship issues can take such a huge toll and affect one's progress that inevitably a person will have to choose - they either endure unhappiness and a constant frustration and carry on with studies getting average grades or they have courage to move on or distance themselves from their partner/gf/bf and focus on what is important for THEM. Perhaps it sounds too selfish, but if you don't look after yourself who would?
Being a PG research student is challenging and unfortunately not everyone can understand what it's like and what it takes to cope with uncertainty, self-doubt and associated stress. The research topic/question tends to change as one goes along, one's supervisor might be a wee bit too critical over the 1st draft. One's data collection might take too long, response rate might be too small, or ethics approval is not obtained to proceed with research, etc and etc. Having spoken to a few PhD students at our School, I now know that it's all part of this journey and it's normal. Of course it doesn't make the job any easier, but perhaps it might take at least some pressure off me when I apply for it sometime next year. I guess it's a matter of knowing that I might experience it, too and being prepared to deal with those challenges.
So what have I learned? I guess a big lesson for me is that I need to always keep in mind my goals, why I'm doing this and focus on my work. I mustn't allow my mind to be occupied with unnecessary thoughts and worries that are beyond my control, because simply put they are a waste of time and not helping me achieve what I want to. Again, it might seem that I'm being selfish but to this day I see no other way of dealing with these kind of situations. Maybe there is a better approach and I'll figure it out in the future.
Getting a job offer and sorting out immigration paperwork is hard, but when one is having relationship issues in addition to those hardships it makes one feel so miserable and desperate. The other day I was talking about numerous support services that are available at local universities. And it's wonderful that they exist. However when one comes from a different environment where it is not common to ask for help and talk about private stuff to strangers, even though they might be professionals, these services can't reach those in need. The guy seemed ok talking to me and perhaps for he knew me and felt comfortable enough to share some personal stuff. But it struck me that relationship issues can take such a huge toll and affect one's progress that inevitably a person will have to choose - they either endure unhappiness and a constant frustration and carry on with studies getting average grades or they have courage to move on or distance themselves from their partner/gf/bf and focus on what is important for THEM. Perhaps it sounds too selfish, but if you don't look after yourself who would?
Being a PG research student is challenging and unfortunately not everyone can understand what it's like and what it takes to cope with uncertainty, self-doubt and associated stress. The research topic/question tends to change as one goes along, one's supervisor might be a wee bit too critical over the 1st draft. One's data collection might take too long, response rate might be too small, or ethics approval is not obtained to proceed with research, etc and etc. Having spoken to a few PhD students at our School, I now know that it's all part of this journey and it's normal. Of course it doesn't make the job any easier, but perhaps it might take at least some pressure off me when I apply for it sometime next year. I guess it's a matter of knowing that I might experience it, too and being prepared to deal with those challenges.
So what have I learned? I guess a big lesson for me is that I need to always keep in mind my goals, why I'm doing this and focus on my work. I mustn't allow my mind to be occupied with unnecessary thoughts and worries that are beyond my control, because simply put they are a waste of time and not helping me achieve what I want to. Again, it might seem that I'm being selfish but to this day I see no other way of dealing with these kind of situations. Maybe there is a better approach and I'll figure it out in the future.