Interesting...
I am home eating some dry Aunt Jemima waffles with iced tea. My mother is doing her usual "I-am-talking-to-you-but-not-talking-to-you" thing, where she is talking about everybody in the household but not exactly to anyone. Anyhow...
She is talking to my brother and she is not really talking to him and he is not really listening to her. What I hate is that she talks SO MUCH STUFF about me as though I am not even here, but she does not just come up to me and tell me. I mean, how adult-like are you, really, if you can talk all that mess, but not tell me in my face or in my presence. That is just so silly, really. Gross, please stop already! I am two seconds away from telling her to just shut up and/or tell me to my face, but I am not going to bother because I do not want to hear anything else from her.
Yesterday evening I went to the church, although she told me not to. Why should I be forbidden to go to a church? I know what a cult is and what false teaching is, and TRUST ME, I would NOT even bother to go to anything foolish, especially when my relationship with God is at stake. Well, I lead worship with Richard, Diane, and Judith, and it was GOOD!!!! The Word was POWERFUL and on-time for me. I was refreshed. I came home exactly 10:20 and when I walked in the apartment, my brother was watching tv in the living room, she was sleeping sitting up on the sofa, and he was there, too. I was soooo upset when I saw him, but I didn't let him kill the joy I had received from church. Let me tell you something...the Bible says to obey your mother and father in the Lord. It also says that when your mother and father forsake you, THEN the Lord will take you up. So, I am going to listen to her AS LONG AS she is following EVERY THING that God says for my life. The millisecond she steps out of that plan is the SAME millisecond that I will not listen to her or trust her plans for my life. My life is NOT a joke. It is very serious. I am not afraid of her or anything else that will try to stop me from living a righteous life.
This morning I was trying (ill...he just came in...I lost my appetite for my overtoasted waffles and iced tea! lol Well, now I have my headphones to listen to Gospel music to get back into the right mindset.) to get some extra rest because this week was soooo tiring and stressful. I figured, it's the weekend, let me ACTUALLY sleep late. NOPE!!!! Eventually, she and my brother came into my room to prove a point that my brother was wrong and she took back some money she gave me to do my hair. (Great!) Well, when I went into her room to ask why she took it back, she told me some stuff and then stopped me to talk to her. (All these "talks" have not really been doing anything extravagant, just letting her see how serious I am about leaving.) Well, that talk obviously let me see where she is, and after it happened, I called my friend's mom because I am so serious about leaving. I am going to meet up with her mom on Monday, hopefully, to discuss my possible living with them. I hope her mother doesn't say anything stupid like, "A girl your age needs to live with her mother." OHHHHHHH how I would be ANNOYED if she said that. Really, she is my last resort besides a shelter. (I am soo not joking....if you saw and met him you would know what I am talking about. Why does no one besides my friends, the young people in my family, and some church members see that he is messed up???!!! Everyone is so caught up in my mother's happiness! Well, what about everything else? My word! Happiness is not everything all the time!)
So, I am going to talk to her in person. She is a reasonable person and I sure do hope she is reasonable when I talk to her. Well, my mom said again that if and when I leave her house I am no longer under her jurisdiction and care. Okay...whatever. She won't pay for school. Great. That's ok. I will find a way because the Lord will make a way. He will open a door.
You may be thinking I should stay home. Well, how about you live a day in my place? See how much you can take it. My friends are always telling me that I am a strong person because I have been through hell and I am still standing. I never really understood that until recently. It is true. I hold on and I usually do not give up unless I see that there is no way out, and usually when I am about to give up, THEN it is that I see or find my way out. I am glad for that. I am glad for God's favor. Some people do not believe that God is real, but I know that He is. If you don't believe He is, then just ask me about my life. I'll tell ya. Then you can decide for yourself.
This is my year of jubilee. This is my time of rest. This is the day that my life will change. Now is my time for freedom, liberty in Christ. Peace.
She is talking to my brother and she is not really talking to him and he is not really listening to her. What I hate is that she talks SO MUCH STUFF about me as though I am not even here, but she does not just come up to me and tell me. I mean, how adult-like are you, really, if you can talk all that mess, but not tell me in my face or in my presence. That is just so silly, really. Gross, please stop already! I am two seconds away from telling her to just shut up and/or tell me to my face, but I am not going to bother because I do not want to hear anything else from her.
Yesterday evening I went to the church, although she told me not to. Why should I be forbidden to go to a church? I know what a cult is and what false teaching is, and TRUST ME, I would NOT even bother to go to anything foolish, especially when my relationship with God is at stake. Well, I lead worship with Richard, Diane, and Judith, and it was GOOD!!!! The Word was POWERFUL and on-time for me. I was refreshed. I came home exactly 10:20 and when I walked in the apartment, my brother was watching tv in the living room, she was sleeping sitting up on the sofa, and he was there, too. I was soooo upset when I saw him, but I didn't let him kill the joy I had received from church. Let me tell you something...the Bible says to obey your mother and father in the Lord. It also says that when your mother and father forsake you, THEN the Lord will take you up. So, I am going to listen to her AS LONG AS she is following EVERY THING that God says for my life. The millisecond she steps out of that plan is the SAME millisecond that I will not listen to her or trust her plans for my life. My life is NOT a joke. It is very serious. I am not afraid of her or anything else that will try to stop me from living a righteous life.
This morning I was trying (ill...he just came in...I lost my appetite for my overtoasted waffles and iced tea! lol Well, now I have my headphones to listen to Gospel music to get back into the right mindset.) to get some extra rest because this week was soooo tiring and stressful. I figured, it's the weekend, let me ACTUALLY sleep late. NOPE!!!! Eventually, she and my brother came into my room to prove a point that my brother was wrong and she took back some money she gave me to do my hair. (Great!) Well, when I went into her room to ask why she took it back, she told me some stuff and then stopped me to talk to her. (All these "talks" have not really been doing anything extravagant, just letting her see how serious I am about leaving.) Well, that talk obviously let me see where she is, and after it happened, I called my friend's mom because I am so serious about leaving. I am going to meet up with her mom on Monday, hopefully, to discuss my possible living with them. I hope her mother doesn't say anything stupid like, "A girl your age needs to live with her mother." OHHHHHHH how I would be ANNOYED if she said that. Really, she is my last resort besides a shelter. (I am soo not joking....if you saw and met him you would know what I am talking about. Why does no one besides my friends, the young people in my family, and some church members see that he is messed up???!!! Everyone is so caught up in my mother's happiness! Well, what about everything else? My word! Happiness is not everything all the time!)
So, I am going to talk to her in person. She is a reasonable person and I sure do hope she is reasonable when I talk to her. Well, my mom said again that if and when I leave her house I am no longer under her jurisdiction and care. Okay...whatever. She won't pay for school. Great. That's ok. I will find a way because the Lord will make a way. He will open a door.
You may be thinking I should stay home. Well, how about you live a day in my place? See how much you can take it. My friends are always telling me that I am a strong person because I have been through hell and I am still standing. I never really understood that until recently. It is true. I hold on and I usually do not give up unless I see that there is no way out, and usually when I am about to give up, THEN it is that I see or find my way out. I am glad for that. I am glad for God's favor. Some people do not believe that God is real, but I know that He is. If you don't believe He is, then just ask me about my life. I'll tell ya. Then you can decide for yourself.
This is my year of jubilee. This is my time of rest. This is the day that my life will change. Now is my time for freedom, liberty in Christ. Peace.