In the Hues of a Life (4/10)
In the Hues of a Life
By Jules
(4/10)
Synopsis: An exploration of Cuddy’s side of House’s recovery and hallucinations.
A/N: I hate writing chapter 4s. I rewrote this thing 5 times, so hopefully it makes sense. Thanks so much for the great feedback! Enjoy!
* * *
Chapter 4
* * *
8:34 A.M. “Good morning.” She bit her lip and smiled as she felt his warm hand on her lower back. It lingered there as he leaned on the counter next to her. He grinned knowingly, as she
drew in her breath as her palm stretched across the smooth surface of her body. She moaned into the phone, exhaling as she finally gave into the pleasure of touching herself, spreading her fingers through her curls
and whispering, “You’re here early.”
She flipped through a patient file, keeping her eyes down, purposefully away from him.
“And whose fault is that?” House chuckled, leaning over her shoulder close to her ear so he could
“….tie you up and make you scream….”
“You…. First….” She panted.
“…Cuddy,” House growled and
she turned to face him, eyes sparkling and face flushed. “About last night….”
“About that.” He lifted his eyebrows diabolically, taunting her with
“….tongue inside you, lips on your clit….”
“Fuck, House. Fuck me…” She lifted her hips and
her eyes to him. “It was….”
A slow smile spread across her face that could only be described as naughty.
“Yeah.” There were no words. Her grin was infectious, and they began to giggle like teenagers. Neither noticed Vanessa watching them from the other side of the clinic.
Cuddy leaned into him and whispered, “I think it was….”
“Oh….Oh God…Oh….So Good….”
“Right there….”
“Yes! Oh, God! I’m coming! I’m-”
“Totally against doctor’s orders.” House pressed his fingers to his lips.
Cuddy nodded, forcing a serious expression. “Right. You have to focus on the tangible.”
House snatched the file she was reading. “Personally, I find the issue to be proximity.”
Cuddy took the file back and closed it. “I think that’s a fair assessment.”
House grabbed the back of her lab coat, pulling her into his space. She met his eyes as she quickly gathered his meaning and intentions. “So tonight-”
“Cuddy!” She jerked away from House as she heard her name. Wilson, winded and more flustered than usual, called out to her, “Board room now.”
“What’s going on?” Cuddy pulled away from House.
Wilson eyed them curiously. “Intern committed suicide. Media is going nuts.”
Cuddy stopped moving. “What?”
* * *
8:45 A.M.
Cuddy ran off the elevator and spun around the corner. She slammed through the glass doors and looked up to the big screen TV. “Turn up the volume now.”
“…Harris, 22, a Suma Cum Laude pre-med from Columbia University was found dead this morning in her boyfriend’s apartment. ‘I don’t understand what happened,’ her mother says, “she was so happy and doing so well.’ Sources say Harris was let go from her internship yesterday at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Officials from the institution have yet to comment.”
Rebecca’s face filled the screen. Cuddy blanched as she stared at the young girl’s happy picture.
“Cuddy… Hey…” House put a tentative hand on her arm. She hadn’t realized he had followed her.
Her mind reeled and she began to ramble, “We’ll need to make a statement. I need to see her family. I-” She tried to take action, but her words minced, coming out jumbled and dazed.
“Sit down. You’re shaking,” House whispered in her ear and gently lowered her to a seat.
“I did this, House.” She gripped his hand.
She didn’t see that everyone had stopped watching the news and were now watching them.
* * *
9:22 A.M. “It’s clearly a case of a fragile young woman unable to deal with a termination. I’m not sure why we’re putting Dr. Cuddy on trial for it. The girl breached confidentiality. Cuddy was in her jurisdiction to let her go. Period.” Wilson fell back against his seat, his agitation clear as the board meeting droned on, turning an ugly head.
“I understand that, Wilson.” Dr. Elliot Minors, vice-president of the board, loosened his tie and ran a frustrated hand over his shiny, bald head. “However, Cuddy’s judgment has been less than stellar ever since House ‘took his sabbatical.’”
“You’re treading on thin ice, Minors,” Drew Billingsly, Chairman of the Board chided.
“What was this supposed ‘breach?’” Minors spoke up again. “For all we know, Cuddy let the girl go because of idle gossip.”
“I assure you that wasn’t the case,” Cuddy said quietly, still too stunned to defend herself.
Billingsly eyed the pale form of his dean. “Regardless, we need to be prepared for any action the girl’s parents might take or media coverage. Dr. Cuddy, you’ll need to prepare a statement within the hour for board approval. We’ll reconvene then.”
* * *
10:44 A.M. “Did you shrink?”
“I think better without my shoes on.” Cuddy paced back and forth in her office, her heels and stocking tossed haphazardly on the sofa.
“Funny. I always thought your omniscient powers came directly from the fuck me pumps and push-up bras.” House grinned affectionately at her. At least he was trying.
“I don’t feel very powerful right now.” She stopped pacing and looked at him hopelessly. “I don’t know what to say to them. I can’t tell the truth.”
They stood a foot apart from each other, immobile. It felt like a mile to her.
House shrugged. “Then lie. It’s what we do.”
* * *
Cuddy approached the podium, eyes on her speech, red marks and scribbled words making it difficult to decipher the words.
12 Noon. “My name is Dr. Lisa Cuddy and I am the Dean of Medicine of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. On behalf of the entire staff and board, we would like to offer our condolences to Ms. Harris’ family and friends. She had great potential and it is unfortunate that she had to leave us so soon. At this time, I’ll take a few questions.”
“Dr. Cuddy, you fired Ms. Harris yesterday, is that correct?” A reporter from NJ-Local 1 asked quickly.
“Correct. Unfortunately, she breached hospital policy; and as the Dean of Medicine, it’s my job to protect the hospital and its staff,” Cuddy looked into the sea of reporters. Past them, House loomed, watching closely by the double doors.
“So you’re saying she put the staff at risk?” A WMGM reporter questioned, shoving the mike in her face.
House crossed his arms, frowning, his eyes full of something she didn’t recognize.
“Yes.”
“Can you be more specific?” The NJ-Local 1 reporter asked.
Their eyes met and
moved together, distance and space irrelevant, because they were more than words, they were dreaming….
“She disclosed the medical condition of a staff member.”
* * *
9:47 P.M.
She opened her door, and there he was, anxious, ready, worried. “It’s not even 10 o’clock.”
He pretended to look at his watch. “It’s three in South Africa.”
“Liar.” Without warning, she embraced him. She hadn’t genuinely hugged him in years, but it didn’t feel strange. When he returned the embrace, she pulled him closer and selfishly carved a nook in his neck for herself.
“It’ll be okay,” he said, rubbing her back. “Just remember the phone sex. It doesn’t get much better than that.”
She laughed but quickly dissolved to tears. “I’m going to lose my job.”
House pulled back, narrowing his eyes at her stoically. “They’ll threaten it, sure, but at the end of the day, they’ll see what I see. You couldn’t have done anything to stop her. People don’t kill themselves because they screw up or fail or lose a job. Look at Kutner.”
Cuddy looked away from him. She knew this was too close to home for him. It felt like some sick, vicious cycle they would never stop running.
Cuddy shook her head and began to pace, knotting her fists in her sweatshirt. “You can’t compare the two. There were a series of events….”
House slammed his cane on the floor, reverberating through the entire room. “So what? Life is a series of events. So what if yours was the last in her life. She’s gone, and it’s not your fault.”
His eyes were raw, full of ghosts and regrets. She was scared to touch him, scared that if she let him see too much, he would disappear right in front of her.
She tried to focus. “I am responsible. I was thinking about you, and I lost the big picture. Image matters. What they say, all those idiot reporters out there, matters.”
“And what are we? Bright shiny pixels that make sound bites for the 5 o’clock news, oh jaded mistress?” He caught her sweatshirt fist.
Her fingers snuck out slowly and knotted with his. “No. Just a lovely thought….”
House’s eyes darkened and the grip on her hand tightened. “Oh don’t start that crap, Cuddy. This, right here, is not some fantasy or figment of my fucked up imagination. This is real, it’s getting too real, and that scares the shit out of you.”
He was in her face, and she could barely find his eyes in the deep blue that engorged her. She put her hand on his chest but didn’t move.
“There are boundaries, House. Once we cross that line, others get blurry too.”
House scoffed, “So I must have been dreaming last night when I made you come.”
“It wasn’t-” She closed her eyes and
his mouth sucked between her thighs, milking her like honey and
he pulled her closer, his mouth against her ear. “What? Real? You faked it? Bullshit. We don’t even have to touch…. You want to talk boundaries? Then stay on topic, and stop screwing with a perfectly good grey zone. A careless pre-med saw something she shouldn’t have and then decided to talk about it. If she actually gave a damn about her future, she would have walked away from that conversation and never opened her trap.”
House let her go, his breath heavy. Suddenly she felt stripped, naked and cold without him against her.
Proximity was definitely an issue.
She fell down to her ottoman and shook her head. “I’m already skating on thin ice for re-hiring you. My credibility will be shot if the media finds out why I fired her. I don’t have anything without that job. Neither do you.”
House leaned against the archway, his body tired and his fight dissipating. “Maybe not. Maybe it would suck. You’re probably right. But Cuddy, you have a life outside that hospital. You have a little girl who actually depends on your narcissistic ass.”
Rachel began to cry.
Cuddy listened to the sound. She was needed; he was right. She stood up and pointed to the back rooms. “Speaking of….”
“Go get the munchkin. I need to sit down.” House limped over to her sofa. She watched him ease down slowly, wincing the last few inches. He closed his eyes.
“Are you in pain?” She whispered.
“Yes.” He opened his eyes and rubbed the cavernous skin, eyes never leaving hers. “Just a series of events.”
By Jules
(4/10)
Synopsis: An exploration of Cuddy’s side of House’s recovery and hallucinations.
A/N: I hate writing chapter 4s. I rewrote this thing 5 times, so hopefully it makes sense. Thanks so much for the great feedback! Enjoy!
* * *
Chapter 4
* * *
8:34 A.M. “Good morning.” She bit her lip and smiled as she felt his warm hand on her lower back. It lingered there as he leaned on the counter next to her. He grinned knowingly, as she
drew in her breath as her palm stretched across the smooth surface of her body. She moaned into the phone, exhaling as she finally gave into the pleasure of touching herself, spreading her fingers through her curls
and whispering, “You’re here early.”
She flipped through a patient file, keeping her eyes down, purposefully away from him.
“And whose fault is that?” House chuckled, leaning over her shoulder close to her ear so he could
“….tie you up and make you scream….”
“You…. First….” She panted.
“…Cuddy,” House growled and
she turned to face him, eyes sparkling and face flushed. “About last night….”
“About that.” He lifted his eyebrows diabolically, taunting her with
“….tongue inside you, lips on your clit….”
“Fuck, House. Fuck me…” She lifted her hips and
her eyes to him. “It was….”
A slow smile spread across her face that could only be described as naughty.
“Yeah.” There were no words. Her grin was infectious, and they began to giggle like teenagers. Neither noticed Vanessa watching them from the other side of the clinic.
Cuddy leaned into him and whispered, “I think it was….”
“Oh….Oh God…Oh….So Good….”
“Right there….”
“Yes! Oh, God! I’m coming! I’m-”
“Totally against doctor’s orders.” House pressed his fingers to his lips.
Cuddy nodded, forcing a serious expression. “Right. You have to focus on the tangible.”
House snatched the file she was reading. “Personally, I find the issue to be proximity.”
Cuddy took the file back and closed it. “I think that’s a fair assessment.”
House grabbed the back of her lab coat, pulling her into his space. She met his eyes as she quickly gathered his meaning and intentions. “So tonight-”
“Cuddy!” She jerked away from House as she heard her name. Wilson, winded and more flustered than usual, called out to her, “Board room now.”
“What’s going on?” Cuddy pulled away from House.
Wilson eyed them curiously. “Intern committed suicide. Media is going nuts.”
Cuddy stopped moving. “What?”
* * *
8:45 A.M.
Cuddy ran off the elevator and spun around the corner. She slammed through the glass doors and looked up to the big screen TV. “Turn up the volume now.”
“…Harris, 22, a Suma Cum Laude pre-med from Columbia University was found dead this morning in her boyfriend’s apartment. ‘I don’t understand what happened,’ her mother says, “she was so happy and doing so well.’ Sources say Harris was let go from her internship yesterday at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Officials from the institution have yet to comment.”
Rebecca’s face filled the screen. Cuddy blanched as she stared at the young girl’s happy picture.
“Cuddy… Hey…” House put a tentative hand on her arm. She hadn’t realized he had followed her.
Her mind reeled and she began to ramble, “We’ll need to make a statement. I need to see her family. I-” She tried to take action, but her words minced, coming out jumbled and dazed.
“Sit down. You’re shaking,” House whispered in her ear and gently lowered her to a seat.
“I did this, House.” She gripped his hand.
She didn’t see that everyone had stopped watching the news and were now watching them.
* * *
9:22 A.M. “It’s clearly a case of a fragile young woman unable to deal with a termination. I’m not sure why we’re putting Dr. Cuddy on trial for it. The girl breached confidentiality. Cuddy was in her jurisdiction to let her go. Period.” Wilson fell back against his seat, his agitation clear as the board meeting droned on, turning an ugly head.
“I understand that, Wilson.” Dr. Elliot Minors, vice-president of the board, loosened his tie and ran a frustrated hand over his shiny, bald head. “However, Cuddy’s judgment has been less than stellar ever since House ‘took his sabbatical.’”
“You’re treading on thin ice, Minors,” Drew Billingsly, Chairman of the Board chided.
“What was this supposed ‘breach?’” Minors spoke up again. “For all we know, Cuddy let the girl go because of idle gossip.”
“I assure you that wasn’t the case,” Cuddy said quietly, still too stunned to defend herself.
Billingsly eyed the pale form of his dean. “Regardless, we need to be prepared for any action the girl’s parents might take or media coverage. Dr. Cuddy, you’ll need to prepare a statement within the hour for board approval. We’ll reconvene then.”
* * *
10:44 A.M. “Did you shrink?”
“I think better without my shoes on.” Cuddy paced back and forth in her office, her heels and stocking tossed haphazardly on the sofa.
“Funny. I always thought your omniscient powers came directly from the fuck me pumps and push-up bras.” House grinned affectionately at her. At least he was trying.
“I don’t feel very powerful right now.” She stopped pacing and looked at him hopelessly. “I don’t know what to say to them. I can’t tell the truth.”
They stood a foot apart from each other, immobile. It felt like a mile to her.
House shrugged. “Then lie. It’s what we do.”
* * *
Cuddy approached the podium, eyes on her speech, red marks and scribbled words making it difficult to decipher the words.
12 Noon. “My name is Dr. Lisa Cuddy and I am the Dean of Medicine of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. On behalf of the entire staff and board, we would like to offer our condolences to Ms. Harris’ family and friends. She had great potential and it is unfortunate that she had to leave us so soon. At this time, I’ll take a few questions.”
“Dr. Cuddy, you fired Ms. Harris yesterday, is that correct?” A reporter from NJ-Local 1 asked quickly.
“Correct. Unfortunately, she breached hospital policy; and as the Dean of Medicine, it’s my job to protect the hospital and its staff,” Cuddy looked into the sea of reporters. Past them, House loomed, watching closely by the double doors.
“So you’re saying she put the staff at risk?” A WMGM reporter questioned, shoving the mike in her face.
House crossed his arms, frowning, his eyes full of something she didn’t recognize.
“Yes.”
“Can you be more specific?” The NJ-Local 1 reporter asked.
Their eyes met and
moved together, distance and space irrelevant, because they were more than words, they were dreaming….
“She disclosed the medical condition of a staff member.”
* * *
9:47 P.M.
She opened her door, and there he was, anxious, ready, worried. “It’s not even 10 o’clock.”
He pretended to look at his watch. “It’s three in South Africa.”
“Liar.” Without warning, she embraced him. She hadn’t genuinely hugged him in years, but it didn’t feel strange. When he returned the embrace, she pulled him closer and selfishly carved a nook in his neck for herself.
“It’ll be okay,” he said, rubbing her back. “Just remember the phone sex. It doesn’t get much better than that.”
She laughed but quickly dissolved to tears. “I’m going to lose my job.”
House pulled back, narrowing his eyes at her stoically. “They’ll threaten it, sure, but at the end of the day, they’ll see what I see. You couldn’t have done anything to stop her. People don’t kill themselves because they screw up or fail or lose a job. Look at Kutner.”
Cuddy looked away from him. She knew this was too close to home for him. It felt like some sick, vicious cycle they would never stop running.
Cuddy shook her head and began to pace, knotting her fists in her sweatshirt. “You can’t compare the two. There were a series of events….”
House slammed his cane on the floor, reverberating through the entire room. “So what? Life is a series of events. So what if yours was the last in her life. She’s gone, and it’s not your fault.”
His eyes were raw, full of ghosts and regrets. She was scared to touch him, scared that if she let him see too much, he would disappear right in front of her.
She tried to focus. “I am responsible. I was thinking about you, and I lost the big picture. Image matters. What they say, all those idiot reporters out there, matters.”
“And what are we? Bright shiny pixels that make sound bites for the 5 o’clock news, oh jaded mistress?” He caught her sweatshirt fist.
Her fingers snuck out slowly and knotted with his. “No. Just a lovely thought….”
House’s eyes darkened and the grip on her hand tightened. “Oh don’t start that crap, Cuddy. This, right here, is not some fantasy or figment of my fucked up imagination. This is real, it’s getting too real, and that scares the shit out of you.”
He was in her face, and she could barely find his eyes in the deep blue that engorged her. She put her hand on his chest but didn’t move.
“There are boundaries, House. Once we cross that line, others get blurry too.”
House scoffed, “So I must have been dreaming last night when I made you come.”
“It wasn’t-” She closed her eyes and
his mouth sucked between her thighs, milking her like honey and
he pulled her closer, his mouth against her ear. “What? Real? You faked it? Bullshit. We don’t even have to touch…. You want to talk boundaries? Then stay on topic, and stop screwing with a perfectly good grey zone. A careless pre-med saw something she shouldn’t have and then decided to talk about it. If she actually gave a damn about her future, she would have walked away from that conversation and never opened her trap.”
House let her go, his breath heavy. Suddenly she felt stripped, naked and cold without him against her.
Proximity was definitely an issue.
She fell down to her ottoman and shook her head. “I’m already skating on thin ice for re-hiring you. My credibility will be shot if the media finds out why I fired her. I don’t have anything without that job. Neither do you.”
House leaned against the archway, his body tired and his fight dissipating. “Maybe not. Maybe it would suck. You’re probably right. But Cuddy, you have a life outside that hospital. You have a little girl who actually depends on your narcissistic ass.”
Rachel began to cry.
Cuddy listened to the sound. She was needed; he was right. She stood up and pointed to the back rooms. “Speaking of….”
“Go get the munchkin. I need to sit down.” House limped over to her sofa. She watched him ease down slowly, wincing the last few inches. He closed his eyes.
“Are you in pain?” She whispered.
“Yes.” He opened his eyes and rubbed the cavernous skin, eyes never leaving hers. “Just a series of events.”