In the Hues of a Life (1/10)
In the Hues of a Life
By Jules
(1/10)
Rating: M
Synopsis: An exploration of Cuddy’s side of House’s recovery and hallucinations.
A/N: Please read and review and let me know if anything doesn’t make sense. A little spoilery for season 6, but not much. I'm a little unsure of the subject matter, but I thought I'd give it a go and see if I could do it any justice. Enjoy!
As dreams are the fancies of those that sleep, so fancies are but the dreams of those awake.-Blount.
* * *
Chapter 1
* * *
….that Gregory House, M.D. is of sound body and mind to return to his medical practice. If you have any questions or concerns, do not hesitate to contact me.
Sincerely,
Dr. M. Nolan
Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital
609-457-7232
She stared at the handwritten note, took a deep breath, and nodded once to Wilson.
“Okay.”
* * *
She hadn’t seen House since she took him to Wilson’s office that awful day in May.
“I can stay if-”
“No. Go home to your daughter,” he had said hollowly, his red-rimmed eyes full of remorse, his words benign and carefully chosen to hide an apology.
“I’ll come as soon as-”
“No,” he had cut her off again. “No.”
She had taken a deep breath and looked at Wilson dejectedly. “I want updates daily. That’s non-negotiable.”
And with that, she had left, moving down the hall like a sharpshooter on a mission. She didn’t break down at the hospital again.
She only had been able to make it to her car.
* * *
She nearly chewed her pencil down to the lead as she waited now.
9:25 A.M. He would be here in an hour at best.
She tried not to second-guess her decision to bring him back. Vaguely, she realized that wanting the selfish jerk here was in direct opposition to the initial reason she had fired him.
She had never questioned her own sanity before.
* * *
She was right. 10:32 A.M.
If she hadn’t been standing at the nurse’s station, she would have missed him completely.
The click of his cane against the linoleum floor betrayed him as he made an uncharacteristically quiet entrance.
She swallowed, watching his retreating back and downcast eyes.
She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to act now. After all, she had been more his fantasy than his reality for months.
To be someone’s fantasy-it was almost a violation. No, it was selfish. He knew things, vivid things about them, and she was the one left behind: angry, confused, and humiliated.
He knew everything, and now, he couldn’t even look at her.
She almost hated him.
“Dr. Cuddy!”
“What, Brenda?!” Cuddy snapped, her eyes flashing at the innocent nurse for interrupting their one-sided moment of intimacy.
“Psych on line 3.”
* * *
The day was painfully slow. She had yet to hear from the diagnostic department, and it was driving her nuts. 2:16 P.M.
She tapped her chewed pencil against the edge of her desk. Curtis Brown, a prominent donor, spoke lively and encouragingly into her ear. She sighed, closing her eyes and pressing her pointer finger and thumb against the bridge of her nose.
“Dr. Cuddy? What do you think?” She tried to focus on the conversation again and turned away from her door.
“Your ideas for the pediatric wing are inspiring, however, it takes more than a generous donation to change hospital policy, sir.”
She grimaced, pulling back the phone as Curtis went into a full-blown entitlement rant. How many times had House stood in front of her, full of pride, arrogance, and absolute genius? Even when he had been blatantly wrong, she had listened every time.
“ ….but I expected so much more from you, Dr. Cuddy,” Curtis cut into her thoughts, and Cuddy jerked to attention.
“I understand that, sir, and I apologize. But we have to deal with reality. I wanted the proposal to go through just as much as you did. Unfortunately, that’s not what happened and the board’s decision stands. It can’t be helped.”
“No, that’s not what happened.” Her eyes shot up. He was there; her heart raced and she dropped the phone, Curtis’ voice fading to the background.
House looked at her with stark conviction, “You helped me.”
She looked in his bright, haunted eyes, so many questions seizing her. Her throat was dry as she finally whispered to him like she had wanted to for months, “Did I?”
The phone buzzed in the background-no one was there anymore.
* * *
She lay down on her couch and closed her eyes. She couldn’t concentrate or work, and she felt sick at the idea that this was going to be their relationship now. Distantly professional.
But she could feel him laughing at her, mocking her softly from the center of the room. “You’re an idiot,” she heard him say.
A smile crept across the corners of her mouth.
“You want to know everything?” He asked, sitting next to her.
“Yes.” It had been too long with their only communication being doctor’s notes.
He placed his hand over hers. “I don’t think you can handle it.”
“How long have you wanted this?” She pulled his palm towards her.
“Always.”
Her chest rose as she took in his words. Slowly, she felt the buttons of her jacket pop open, and she arched her back releasing herself from the unwanted material.
“What have you done to me?”
“What you wanted.” Their hands were together, sliding down her body, touching the curves and valleys reverently. It must have been like this; she twined her fingers with his, jealous fingers grappling over his, the sensations stinging deliciously through her nerves.
Their hands played their way down her body, and she mewed as she imagined him inside her, riding her desperately, depending on her to be there in the morning and the day after that.
“I want you to….” She bit her lip in frustration, tears welling in her eyes as she tried to touch his face. His breath hovered above her sex, teasing her with unspoken promises and secrets.
“What?” He asked faintly.
“I want….”
“Say it, Cuddy.” His fingers slid away from her, and she growled, reaching for him again desperately.
“Make me come, House.
God-” Their fingers pushed her into her together, and she nearly jumped as the combined pressure blanched out her mind and body; there was nothing in the room but his touch and her hands. “Just…Right there-”
The knock was harsh, and she groaned as her eyes flew open in a panicked flush.
“Goddamn it.”
Unsatisfied, she pushed her skirt down and stood up on an uneven floor. She tucked in her blouse and slid back into her blazer. She checked herself in her mirror. She only felt half-crazed; she looked amazing.
Somewhat remade, she strode towards her rattling door.
She couldn’t do anything to hide the fever in her face. She swung the door open, and there he was. Tired and somewhat older, like a hero returning from his odyssey, House looked at her expectantly. His eyes were still penetrating, still deeper than the ocean.
“Cuddy.”
She willed her blush away but failed completely, unable to hide a small smile at the sight of him. “Welcome back, House.”
By Jules
(1/10)
Rating: M
Synopsis: An exploration of Cuddy’s side of House’s recovery and hallucinations.
A/N: Please read and review and let me know if anything doesn’t make sense. A little spoilery for season 6, but not much. I'm a little unsure of the subject matter, but I thought I'd give it a go and see if I could do it any justice. Enjoy!
As dreams are the fancies of those that sleep, so fancies are but the dreams of those awake.-Blount.
* * *
Chapter 1
* * *
….that Gregory House, M.D. is of sound body and mind to return to his medical practice. If you have any questions or concerns, do not hesitate to contact me.
Sincerely,
Dr. M. Nolan
Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital
609-457-7232
She stared at the handwritten note, took a deep breath, and nodded once to Wilson.
“Okay.”
* * *
She hadn’t seen House since she took him to Wilson’s office that awful day in May.
“I can stay if-”
“No. Go home to your daughter,” he had said hollowly, his red-rimmed eyes full of remorse, his words benign and carefully chosen to hide an apology.
“I’ll come as soon as-”
“No,” he had cut her off again. “No.”
She had taken a deep breath and looked at Wilson dejectedly. “I want updates daily. That’s non-negotiable.”
And with that, she had left, moving down the hall like a sharpshooter on a mission. She didn’t break down at the hospital again.
She only had been able to make it to her car.
* * *
She nearly chewed her pencil down to the lead as she waited now.
9:25 A.M. He would be here in an hour at best.
She tried not to second-guess her decision to bring him back. Vaguely, she realized that wanting the selfish jerk here was in direct opposition to the initial reason she had fired him.
She had never questioned her own sanity before.
* * *
She was right. 10:32 A.M.
If she hadn’t been standing at the nurse’s station, she would have missed him completely.
The click of his cane against the linoleum floor betrayed him as he made an uncharacteristically quiet entrance.
She swallowed, watching his retreating back and downcast eyes.
She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to act now. After all, she had been more his fantasy than his reality for months.
To be someone’s fantasy-it was almost a violation. No, it was selfish. He knew things, vivid things about them, and she was the one left behind: angry, confused, and humiliated.
He knew everything, and now, he couldn’t even look at her.
She almost hated him.
“Dr. Cuddy!”
“What, Brenda?!” Cuddy snapped, her eyes flashing at the innocent nurse for interrupting their one-sided moment of intimacy.
“Psych on line 3.”
* * *
The day was painfully slow. She had yet to hear from the diagnostic department, and it was driving her nuts. 2:16 P.M.
She tapped her chewed pencil against the edge of her desk. Curtis Brown, a prominent donor, spoke lively and encouragingly into her ear. She sighed, closing her eyes and pressing her pointer finger and thumb against the bridge of her nose.
“Dr. Cuddy? What do you think?” She tried to focus on the conversation again and turned away from her door.
“Your ideas for the pediatric wing are inspiring, however, it takes more than a generous donation to change hospital policy, sir.”
She grimaced, pulling back the phone as Curtis went into a full-blown entitlement rant. How many times had House stood in front of her, full of pride, arrogance, and absolute genius? Even when he had been blatantly wrong, she had listened every time.
“ ….but I expected so much more from you, Dr. Cuddy,” Curtis cut into her thoughts, and Cuddy jerked to attention.
“I understand that, sir, and I apologize. But we have to deal with reality. I wanted the proposal to go through just as much as you did. Unfortunately, that’s not what happened and the board’s decision stands. It can’t be helped.”
“No, that’s not what happened.” Her eyes shot up. He was there; her heart raced and she dropped the phone, Curtis’ voice fading to the background.
House looked at her with stark conviction, “You helped me.”
She looked in his bright, haunted eyes, so many questions seizing her. Her throat was dry as she finally whispered to him like she had wanted to for months, “Did I?”
The phone buzzed in the background-no one was there anymore.
* * *
She lay down on her couch and closed her eyes. She couldn’t concentrate or work, and she felt sick at the idea that this was going to be their relationship now. Distantly professional.
But she could feel him laughing at her, mocking her softly from the center of the room. “You’re an idiot,” she heard him say.
A smile crept across the corners of her mouth.
“You want to know everything?” He asked, sitting next to her.
“Yes.” It had been too long with their only communication being doctor’s notes.
He placed his hand over hers. “I don’t think you can handle it.”
“How long have you wanted this?” She pulled his palm towards her.
“Always.”
Her chest rose as she took in his words. Slowly, she felt the buttons of her jacket pop open, and she arched her back releasing herself from the unwanted material.
“What have you done to me?”
“What you wanted.” Their hands were together, sliding down her body, touching the curves and valleys reverently. It must have been like this; she twined her fingers with his, jealous fingers grappling over his, the sensations stinging deliciously through her nerves.
Their hands played their way down her body, and she mewed as she imagined him inside her, riding her desperately, depending on her to be there in the morning and the day after that.
“I want you to….” She bit her lip in frustration, tears welling in her eyes as she tried to touch his face. His breath hovered above her sex, teasing her with unspoken promises and secrets.
“What?” He asked faintly.
“I want….”
“Say it, Cuddy.” His fingers slid away from her, and she growled, reaching for him again desperately.
“Make me come, House.
God-” Their fingers pushed her into her together, and she nearly jumped as the combined pressure blanched out her mind and body; there was nothing in the room but his touch and her hands. “Just…Right there-”
The knock was harsh, and she groaned as her eyes flew open in a panicked flush.
“Goddamn it.”
Unsatisfied, she pushed her skirt down and stood up on an uneven floor. She tucked in her blouse and slid back into her blazer. She checked herself in her mirror. She only felt half-crazed; she looked amazing.
Somewhat remade, she strode towards her rattling door.
She couldn’t do anything to hide the fever in her face. She swung the door open, and there he was. Tired and somewhat older, like a hero returning from his odyssey, House looked at her expectantly. His eyes were still penetrating, still deeper than the ocean.
“Cuddy.”
She willed her blush away but failed completely, unable to hide a small smile at the sight of him. “Welcome back, House.”