blah.
mom and i had another argument tonight which ended in her screaming and me crying.
i hate that.
she doesn't get it and i don't think she ever will.
dad came and calmed me down though.
for some reason i always feel like he understands me.
he's like a best friend figure. he just knows.
he knows what to say when i'm sad.
he always has words of wisdom and a hug whenever i need it.
i'm so blessed to have him in my life and i don't know what i would do without him.
as for mom, yes i love her very much.
i just wish she would try and be understanding.
she needs to see that life doesn't always have "practical" solutions.
sometimes you have to take leaps of faith.
i know she wants to support me but i think it's realy hard for her.
on a side note.
i think i want to start having meetings with caroline swallow, the counselor on campus.
i need to talk to someone on a regular basis about everything.
i can't do this on my own.
right now its me and god. and that's good. but i still need to get all these feelings out somehow.
i was thinking about something.
derek has a million guys at that place that are going though the exact same thing as he is.
but...i don't know of anyone going through the same thing as me.
with the exception of his mom, if that counts.
i think that's why it's hard.
no one really sees my point of view.
they try but they haven't experienced it.
and to all my friends who have talked to me about stuff, i'm so thankful for you.
if you hadn't, i don't know where i would be right now.
don't think i don't want to talk to you about stuff b/c i absolutely do.
but yeah....
life is just screwed up right now.
and whether i have a positive attitude or not, the circumstances will still be the same and i think i need to talk to a professional about it.
um, the end.
i hate that.
she doesn't get it and i don't think she ever will.
dad came and calmed me down though.
for some reason i always feel like he understands me.
he's like a best friend figure. he just knows.
he knows what to say when i'm sad.
he always has words of wisdom and a hug whenever i need it.
i'm so blessed to have him in my life and i don't know what i would do without him.
as for mom, yes i love her very much.
i just wish she would try and be understanding.
she needs to see that life doesn't always have "practical" solutions.
sometimes you have to take leaps of faith.
i know she wants to support me but i think it's realy hard for her.
on a side note.
i think i want to start having meetings with caroline swallow, the counselor on campus.
i need to talk to someone on a regular basis about everything.
i can't do this on my own.
right now its me and god. and that's good. but i still need to get all these feelings out somehow.
i was thinking about something.
derek has a million guys at that place that are going though the exact same thing as he is.
but...i don't know of anyone going through the same thing as me.
with the exception of his mom, if that counts.
i think that's why it's hard.
no one really sees my point of view.
they try but they haven't experienced it.
and to all my friends who have talked to me about stuff, i'm so thankful for you.
if you hadn't, i don't know where i would be right now.
don't think i don't want to talk to you about stuff b/c i absolutely do.
but yeah....
life is just screwed up right now.
and whether i have a positive attitude or not, the circumstances will still be the same and i think i need to talk to a professional about it.
um, the end.