Cheater, Cheater, We All Fall Down
cheater, cheater, we all fall down
• luhan × xiumin; mentions of luhan × sehun and luhan × tao
• nc-17 | angst, smut
you know what they say. old habits are hard to break. in luhan’s case, he can either break it or lose minseok.
“Minseok!”
“No!”
Luhan runs after him, accidentally knocking over one of the chairs. “Minseok!”
“Shut up!” Minseok screams, his bare feet slapping against the cold tiles. He turns to go through the kitchen entrance and his breath catches in his throat when he sees Luhan already waiting in front of him. He’s too late to slow himself down so he runs straight into the arms of Luhan, the latter immediately hugging him. “Let go,” Minseok manages to say through gritted teeth. How could he forget that the kitchen has two ways of entry? “Let go, damn it!”
“I’m sorry …” Luhan murmurs, hugging Minseok tightly.
Minseok continues to struggle. “Let go of me!”
“I’m sorry …” Luhan repeats. His hand comes up to brush at Minseok’s auburn locks, stilling when he hears sniffling and his shirt getting damp. “M-Minseok?” he gently pushes the latter away, swallowing when he sees tears coming down Minseok’s face. “… Minseok?”
“Am I the reason why I saw you with Sehun?” Minseok whispers. “Am … am I not good enough for you anymore, Luhan?”
Luhan’s eyes widen and his heart thumps painfully.
“Is it because of my age? Am I too old for you?” His head is bowed at this point, too ashamed of his crying face to look up.
No, Luhan thinks. Never.
“I’m too much of a pushover?”
You’re perfect. Those are never true. Never.
A hand comes up to wipe his eyes. “I’m not attractive enough?”
“Minseok,” Luhan interrupts because never never never, “Minseok, I -”
But then Minseok looks back up and his face is wet with tears and his eyebrows are creased and he’s smiling. That shaky smile can break a million hearts and write a thousand love songs. “It’s okay, Luhan.”
Minseok’s hands come up to clutch at his arms and he grips them so desperately that Luhan can see the nail indents in them. He wants to take his hands and scream at his face stop hurting yourself! because he’s the most precious thing in this filthy, corrupt world and Luhan doesn’t know what to do should Minseok ever be gone gone gone from this world. He doesn’t think he can exist without him.
“What do you mean by that?” Luhan whispers. He intended his voice to be of wary and caution, but it comes out as desperate instead.
Minseok swallows and dear Lord he’s still smiling. “If you want him, then who am I to stop you? Who am I to deny your happiness?”
It dawns horribly on Luhan. No no no, be selfish, he wants to say. Be selfish once in your life. He grabs Minseok’s hands and pulls them close to his chest. “Stop me,” he whispers. “Deny it. You’re my happiness, Minseok. Not Sehun. Never Sehun.”
He still remembers the sheer heartbreak and betrayal that were shown in Minseok’s eyes when he had caught Luhan in the dorm of their counterpart bandmates, sitting on the island with his boxers and pants pushed down to his calves and his cock swallowed by Sehun. Luhan doesn’t know what possessed him to whisper a dangerous command into Sehun’s ear, to crave the taste of the boy’s lips.
Minseok flinches and Luhan understands - that name is now taboo to him. It will take him days, months or even years to recover from it. Luhan pulls Minseok close and presses soft kisses into his hair.
He remembers the fear of losing the boy he loves and pain striking in his heart for thoughtlessly betraying him when Minseok discovered them. Time stilled for that one moment, and yet it was going impossibly fast at the same time. Luhan had shoved Sehun away and hurriedly pulled up his clothes as he chased after Minseok.
Luhan tips Minseok’s chin upwards and thank God, he isn’t smiling anymore. Tears are still running down his face but that’s okay. No smile is better than a pained smile. Luhan kisses the tears away. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not,” Minseok chokes. “I am. For finally believing that you’ll change.”
Luhan hitches in a breath and freezes. Minseok’s words are brutally honest but he’s right. They’re so painful and they strike where it hurts the most but they’re right. It wasn’t even Sehun’s fault. Sehun had vehemently refused before Luhan had grabbed a handful of his hair and forcibly pushed him down to his knees. It hurts all the more to know that it was entirely his fault. He’s the one to be blamed.
Luhan had been trying, trying so goddamn hard to change from his playboy ways. And every step he made forward will always pull him back two steps. He leaves the dancefloor if someone grinds against him, he gets smashed at the bar and wakes up with the nasty aftertaste of cum on his tongue. He pushes Zitao away when the latter hugs him, he pulls him in later into the bathroom and kisses him. He showers Minseok with careful love and undivided attention, he makes their youngest member blow him.
Luhan’s fucked up.
Minseok makes to move away but Luhan pulls him close again. “Don’t leave me,” he whimpers. “I’m such a mess. I’m a failure.”
Minseok places his hands on Luhan’s chest. “Luhan -”
“I’ve tried and I’ve tried and I’ve tried so hard,” Luhan whispers, “but I can’t even do the one simple thing you ask me to do. I can’t stay faithful to you.”
Minseok wants to sigh. He’s heard all of this before. “Luhan -”
“I had thought of so many things,” Luhan continues. “I’d imagined Yifan ripping off my clothes before having his way with me. I’d thought of pushing Chanyeol on the couch and biting down his neck. I’d imagined Jongin screaming my name as I fucked him.”
“Where are you going with this, Luhan?” Minseok’s voice is shaky as he imagines the same things. He’s losing Luhan. He’s losing him to his more attractive bandmates. “Why are you telling me all this?” He swallows. “If you don’t love me anymore, you should just say it to my face.”
Luhan hugs Minseok impossibly closer, willing the sharp sting of his tears back. It’s not his place to cry. “I love you so much, Minseok. I just want to be the best for you. We’ve been together for about six months now, but I’ve been an infidel much longer than that. It’s hard to suddenly change your habits after being like that for so long.”
Minseok closes his eyes and he rests his head against Luhan’s chest, his body admitting defeat. “I … I understand,” he whispers, feeling as if his heart is breaking into tiny pieces.
Luhan can’t help it - a tear breaks free. “I’m sorry, Minseok.” He presses a kiss on Minseok’s hair and buries his face in it, inhaling deeply.
“Can …” Minseok swallows harshly and tries not to let his voice waver. “Can we …”
Luhan nods quickly. “Of course. Of course.” He lets go of Minseok and gently closes his fingers around that thin wrist, gently tugging him to Luhan’s bedroom.
The door closes behind them and Minseok wastes no time in pressing his lips against Luhan’s, desperation evident. Luhan wraps urgent arms around Minseok’s waist and Minseok’s hands snake up his back and tug at his hair.
“I’m sorry,” Luhan gasps through kisses. One of Minseok’s hands pull painfully at his hair and Luhan chokes.
“Don’t talk to me,” Minseok sobs as he kisses every part of Luhan’s face - his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his chin, his lips -
Luhan’s hands slide down to Minseok’s hips and, with a sharp jerk of them, presses his crotch against his own. Minseok jumps slightly, surprised at the hardness grinding against him.
Luhan breaks the kiss. “You’re -”
“Shut up,” Minseok interrupts again.
Luhan pats the backs of Minseok’s thighs once and Minseok jumps, wrapping his legs around Luhan’s waist. Luhan secures him with strong hands and attaches his lips to Minseok’s collarbone while Minseok hugs his face close.
The sounds Minseok are letting out are incredible; a mixture of mewls, gasps and sobs all rolled into one sound. It’s wrong, so fucking wrong, but Luhan has never been so aroused.
“Bed,” Luhan says shortly, so that Minseok won’t cut him off again.
Instead, Minseok shakes his head. Luhan ignores him and walks to the bed, leaning forward and heavily dropping both their bodies on the soft mattress. Minseok’s grunt becomes unheard over Luhan’s wet kisses being peppered all over his neck. Luhan would never let anyone on his bed, not even BFF Yixing. But Minseok deserves being on his bed more than anyone. He deserves a lot more.
Luhan pulls all his clothes before peeling Minseok’s clothes off slowly, kissing every bit of skin that is uncovered. Minseok stays quiet, gasps escaping his tightly sealed lips instead of those mewls and whines Luhan misses. “You’re so gorgeous,” he whispers, too softly for Minseok to hear. “Too gorgeous.”
“Luhan,” Minseok whimpers. He squirms on the bed as Luhan pulls his underwear down, his half-hard cock springing free.
“华丽 。。。” Luhan whispers again, voice growing steadily in volume. He takes hold of Minseok’s erection and gently strokes him, the older boy thrashing on the bed.
“Luhan,” Minseok whines, tears forming in his eyes.
“可爱 。。。我可爱的包子，” Luhan smiles slightly, his eyes taking in every detail of the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. He tries to memorize the way Minseok’s eyes flutter as he tries to keep them open, tries to memorize Minseok’s hands as they clutch tightly on the pillow his head is lying on, tries to memorize that lithe body, still a bit chubby with baby fat but perfect to Luhan.
“Luhan,” Minseok says again, eyes pleading as he looks straight into Luhan’s eyes. Luhan wordlessly increases his speed. Minseok chokes on his whines and he gasps, thrusting into Luhan’s hand. “Lu ge,” he whispers.
Luhan bites back a moan and he sucks two fingers into his mouth. He keeps eye contact with Minseok, running his tongue over his fingers and pulling them out with a pop. He eases one into Minseok, the latter letting out a hitched breath.
“对不起，” Luhan mutters. “我吓到你了吗？”
Minseok shakes his head. “不要，” he whispers in stilting Chinese.
Luhan says nothing and adds in another finger, leaning forward and peppering Minseok’s face with small kisses. “You’re beautiful,” he says in Korean. “You’re so beautiful. My beautiful little baozi.”
Minseok squirms on the bed when Luhan thrusts those pretty fingers of his in and out, adopting a slow rhythm. “Luhan,” he whimpers. “快点。”
“有耐心，”Luhan says. “我不想伤害你。”
“You’re not,” Minseok shakes his head again. “Luhan, please please please, just …”
Luhan ignores him and continues with his slow pace. He looks straight into Minseok’s eyes, pleading him to meet his gaze and hold it. Minseok does, though he tears his gaze away a few moments later. Luhan can feel his heart squeeze, but he knows it’s nothing compared to what Minseok’s feeling now.
“Do it,” Minseok whispers, not caring that the poor excuse of lube is already drying out, not caring that Luhan’s fingers are thin and are not enough to stretch him properly. “For the love of God, just do it.”
Luhan can’t bear of thinking his precious in any way, but he’s already hurt him. Minseok will never forgive him for his unforgiveable act of cheating. And if Minseok wants it to hurt, then he really wants it to hurt.
Why, though? To erase the pain in his heart? To remember Luhan in him for as long as possible until the pain fades?
Luhan nods and brings Minseok’s legs higher, pressing a kiss on the inside of one of his thighs. He spits on his hand and lathers his half-hard cock with it, liberally coating it with saliva. Without another word, he aligns himself against Minseok’s entrance and pushes in with a swift thrust. Minseok’s eyes fly open and he gasps, hands leaving the pillow to clutch painfully at Luhan’s shoulders.
“对不起，” Luhan repeats. “我伤害你了吗？”
Minseok shakes his head, his eyes sliding shut once again. “Move.”
Luhan doesn’t move. “Are you ready?”
Minseok cracks open an eye and looks at Luhan, tears blurring his vision. “Just move,” he whispers.
Luhan swallows at the look of pure sadness in his lover’s eyes. He takes his lower lip in between his teeth and bites it, slowly thrusting into Minseok. Minseok cries out as he feels his prostate already being pressed firmly. He pulls Luhan down and leaves small kisses on his neck as Luhan continues to drive into him.
“Faster, please,” Minseok mewls, wrapping his legs around Luhan’s waist.
Luhan complies to Minseok’s wish, feeling Minseok’s toes curling up in desire. “你要我停吗？” he asks softly, question getting cut off with breathy grunts.
Minseok shakes his head again. “不要，” he says again. “Just … just hold me again for one night.”
Tears blur in Luhan’s own eyes and he blinks them away, mouthing 我爱你 against Minseok’s neck. His thrusts become wilder and he loses his rhythm, as though he’s trying to shorten the pain he’s causing Minseok as much as possible.
Minseok cries into his hair and turns Luhan’s head to kiss him desperately, the tears sliding into their mouths making the kiss salty. “I love you,” he gasps when oxygen becomes a necessity. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
“I’m sorry,” Luhan responds. “I’m sorry, Minseok, I’m so, so, sor-”
“I love you,” Minseok interrupts, getting pushed up the bed bit by bit with every thrust Luhan delivers into him.
Luhan can feel that familiar pleasurable sensation rumbling in the pits of his stomach, but he doesn’t want to feel pleasured by this. Never. He swallows and attempts to apologize again. “I’m so-”
“I love you,” Minseok cuts him off again.
“Minseok, I -”
“I love you,” Minseok sobs out, crying out Luhan’s name as he spills in between them. His inner walls tighten around Luhan and Luhan, too, explodes in Minseok, sealing their lips together. It’s kind of hard to kiss Minseok properly when the older boy just keeps whispering I love yous but it hurts Luhan’s heart all the more.
“I love you too,” Luhan says when he pulls away, wiping away Minseok’s tears. “I’m sorry.”
Even when Minseok had cried himself to sleep, Luhan stays awake and holds him the whole night, tracing broken hearts and promises of forever on Minseok’s skin.
The news of Minseok and Luhan breaking up have spread to both the dorms by the next day.
Zitao has taken Minseok hostage and holes him in their room, feeding him different flavors of ice cream in tubs (that he had convinced Yifan to buy) and crying with him. It turns out that Minseok had already cried every tear he had the previous day, so it was really just Zitao crying for him. In the end, it’s Minseok who comforted Zitao when it’s supposed to be the other way around.
“I’m sorry, oppa,” Zitao sniffles, jokingly using the wrong honorific in hopes of cheering Minseok up. “I shouldn’t be the one who’s crying.”
“It’s fine,” Minseok smiles. It really is. “It’s taking my mind off of … well …”
Zitao chuckles and wipes away his tears. “I understand.” His smile fades. “Are you going to be okay?” he asks quietly.
“I will be,” Minseok says just as quietly. “But … it might take a long time.”
“If you need any of us, just call us. We’ll be there for you,” Zitao promises and lies down on Minseok’s bed. “A shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, someone you can rant to … just call us.”
Minseok nods. “I, uh, I’ll just go get some water.” He leaves when Zitao smiles but stops dead at the sight of Luhan straddling Yixing. Luhan is sobbing and had taken into finding comfort in Yixing, the latter’s hands gentle as they run down his back.
Minseok takes a few steps back, bumping into the broad chest of Yifan’s. He looks up behind him and Yifan smiles bitterly, resting his hands on Minseok’s shoulders. “How’re you holding up?”
Not that good, Minseok wants to say. I want to kick their asses is probably more honest. “I’m - I’m fine,” he lies.
Yifan’s gaze is stern. “Are you sure?”
Minseok gently takes Yifan’s hands off his shoulders. “It’s fine,” he smiles as he goes back to his room.
It really isn’t.
- angsty angst for hanbb’s birthday whoo. i like angst.
- and a huge thank you to nuyhuyk for helping with the chinese phrases. ilubb♡
华丽 (huálì) gorgeous
可爱 (kě’ài) lovely
我可爱的包子 (wǒ kě’ài de bāozi) my lovely baozi
对不起 (duìbùqǐ) i’m sorry
我吓到你了吗？ (wǒ xià dào nǐle ma?) did i surprise you?
不要 (bùyào) no
快点 (kuài diǎn) hurry up
有耐心 (yǒu nàixīn) be patient
我不想伤害你 (wǒ bùxiǎng shānghài nǐ) i don’t want to hurt you
我伤害你了吗? (wǒ shānghài nǐle ma) did i hurt you?
你要我停吗? (nǐ yào wǒ tíng ma) do you want me to stop?
我爱你 (wǒ ài nǐ) i love you