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gah. I feel it coming. If you have read my cynical manifesto then you will know that I believe that good things always end. This relationship has lasted the longest at a few short months, but it feels like her feelings are fading for me. It seems like it has become a hassle, an inconvenience for her to see me, yet when we are together she seems to
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I know the feeling though, it is how things seem. For just about everyone I'm sure.
Here's a few simple facts-
a) show too much interest in someone, they tend to become annoyed by it. Why? Who the hell knows. Has anyone ever sat and stared at your for an hour? Like the little kid in church who just has to be turned around in the piu or pew or whatever in front of you and has to stare at you and try to give you stuff. It's cute at first. But it gets sort of annoying.
b) we're always starving for attention. Then when we get it, we seek it from something else. Why? Who the hell knows.
c) when we give a lot of attention to one source, we become incredibly vulnerable. we recognise the slightest changes. changing is ok, and we often forget that. These changes seem bad, but we can't really tell. Not knowing only makes it worse.
d) people drift in and out of primary and secondary concerns. often times one must be more concerned with business or whatever is on one's mind. people that you would freak out and slit your wrists over if they died tomorrow, for some reason, become second place, simply because our mind is not on them.
e) appreciate what's really important. Not a day goes by where you don't realize the significance of your relationship. Not a day goes by that you don't realize that it could very well end today- we're all on borrowed time. And not a day goes by where that is not OK with you, because when it comes to love you don't count the costs, you don't sort the pros and cons, you just do it, and if you or they die tomorrow, which is always a possibility, you will have lived knowing that you experianced life to it's fullest, all it's highs and lows, all it has to offer, and that's really the bigger picture.
f) The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
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