(no subject)
this is so much harder than i told myself it would be.
i have that stupid lisa loeb song stuck in my head. you know the one. from a good eight or so years ago. it went "you only hear what you want..." and just that line. it keeps going and going and going through my head. for good reason i suppose. because i only saw what i wanted in that situation. i convinced myself that it was working and it was good and blahblahblah and then the reality hit and i realized i was just blinding myself with the ideal scenario. i just keep hitting these highs and lows and im tired of it. i want things to plateau. to stay with a certain feeling for more than a day.
oh but thats a lie. because i had that feeling for two weeks and it all went to shambles recently. so maybe these highs and lows keep me more sane (ha) than the long drawn out shit.
i have that stupid lisa loeb song stuck in my head. you know the one. from a good eight or so years ago. it went "you only hear what you want..." and just that line. it keeps going and going and going through my head. for good reason i suppose. because i only saw what i wanted in that situation. i convinced myself that it was working and it was good and blahblahblah and then the reality hit and i realized i was just blinding myself with the ideal scenario. i just keep hitting these highs and lows and im tired of it. i want things to plateau. to stay with a certain feeling for more than a day.
oh but thats a lie. because i had that feeling for two weeks and it all went to shambles recently. so maybe these highs and lows keep me more sane (ha) than the long drawn out shit.