(no subject)
this will be a conscious effort to be clear and rational in writing:
i have never had so much in my brain to think about then i do now.
and it seems so easy to get lost there in the black emptiness i see before.
a nervous slat crams its way into my chest walking full weighted across my soul.
where the future lies a scary harbor to what dreams and fears may come sailing.
the kind of fear that screams in dark nights in even the strongest of eyes.
it grips with black teeth through my curious heart.
this same fear last year would have made lifeless rocks of my once useful limbs.
now i've waged through war, grief, and pain in my own mind for some time.
enough to strike a comfort deep within by knowing i've survived.
yes the future is a dark room with surprises to snare.
and yes i'd like to see them before they break legs.
but there is no way to look beyond what fate has put in.
no bartering, no sly malicious move will let me take peeks.
as things fade away what used to be me i see how with change i am grown, i adapt.
so i fear not what greets me, i have faith in my stride.
i have all i could ask for , i have love at my side.
for 19 years i've called this my life.
but all it has been is learning from failing and growing from loss.
learning to start it for real after 19 long years.
i have never had so much in my brain to think about then i do now.
and it seems so easy to get lost there in the black emptiness i see before.
a nervous slat crams its way into my chest walking full weighted across my soul.
where the future lies a scary harbor to what dreams and fears may come sailing.
the kind of fear that screams in dark nights in even the strongest of eyes.
it grips with black teeth through my curious heart.
this same fear last year would have made lifeless rocks of my once useful limbs.
now i've waged through war, grief, and pain in my own mind for some time.
enough to strike a comfort deep within by knowing i've survived.
yes the future is a dark room with surprises to snare.
and yes i'd like to see them before they break legs.
but there is no way to look beyond what fate has put in.
no bartering, no sly malicious move will let me take peeks.
as things fade away what used to be me i see how with change i am grown, i adapt.
so i fear not what greets me, i have faith in my stride.
i have all i could ask for , i have love at my side.
for 19 years i've called this my life.
but all it has been is learning from failing and growing from loss.
learning to start it for real after 19 long years.