bad mood
whats wrong with me? i feel like i have no one. im always with the same people, i barely have like any friends. not that the friends i have arent great. because they are. but i always hang out with the same like two people. thats so sad? at least i think it really is. i mean its not like i sit home every weekend, no not at all, but its always the same people i hang out with while others hang out with like thousands of people. i would want that. i want more friends. i want a lot of things. its so hard to explain. but its really painful, especially right about now.
and im still mad at that last person i wrote about. he tried to talk to me tonight. well he can fuck himself. i hate him. and he called me a bitch, aww so smart. he must be really dumb if he doesnt realize im being a bitch for a reason? wow. okay.
there are a couple things im looking foward to though. for one, two days of school and a 5 day weekend. thats a mighty nice reversal. :) then theres of course new york. i want to leave beachwood for a little. plus, i guess being gone, i wont have to think wow 2 weeks of winter break and im hanging out with the same people. but in a way, im so weird, i dont want to leave. i hate knowing im going to miss things. but at least im going with galina so she'll be missing things with me, even though she wont care cuz shes normal and im weird and i will care. but i love new york and maybe it will make me happy and maybe i'll make a friend for a week there and hang out with them and feel better about myself. maybe a boy:(? right. i wish. i have to do homework and i hate english and i still want to drop school. in a little more than 5 months i can make that decision. not that..im going to drop out of school.. lol.
i despise my teachers and i loathe how they teach. i cant stand chemistry or math. a month ago, i couldnt stand english and ap us. -a9su34o;l and spanish sucks ass soooo much i hate our teachres why wont summers come back!! kill me.