well...
so i wasnt quite ready for bed, and i felt like writing, so here goes. its been a really long time since ive written in this thing.
tomorrow is me and ryan's one year anniversary. yay. not quite sure whats going on though cuz i have a huge test friday morning, and ryan has to work early, so yah.
anyway... maggie got her apartment, on kyrene and baseline, and she moves here in July. so thats exciting. it will be especially exciting since everyone is leaving next year and i will officially have NO friends.
im going to philly in june for my cousins high school graduation. we're also gonna make a trip to clayton, and new york city, so im really looking forward to it. TWO WEEKS, yay! it'll be nice to get away for awhile and figure my shit out.
i cant wait for the girls to come home from flag. i hope this summer is fun, and everyone isnt too busy to hang out.
my dad bought a boat, so we'll hafta make lots of camping trips and day trips to the lake.
ive decided im gonna try out for american idol this summer. just so i can say i did something. theres no doubt in my mind i wont make it through first cuts... but itll make myself feel like i attempted to do something with my life, and that makes me happy.
im sick of my life feeling so ordinary. im sick of my dead end, shit paying, stressful job. im sick of school and the fact that i never go. im sick of sitting at home every night because i dont have any friends or anything worth doing. im just sick of waking up and doing the same old shit day in and day out, and not having anything to look forward to and nothing to do about it. i feel like i should be working towards something, or be excited about something, instead of just sitting around waiting for my life to happen. im only 20 years old and im soo settled it makes me sick. but even the thought of doing something about it makes me stressed out, so i dont.
i dont need or want new friends... i just miss my old ones.
i dont have the time or energy to do a play... but i wish i would.
i cant work at childrens world forever... but i have nothing better to do.
i could be done with school next summer... but i wont apply myself.
i could move to philly for a month... but i dont have the money.
i could be single if i thought itd help... but im afraid of what i may regret.
dont u just hate "buts"
im going to bed.
tomorrow is me and ryan's one year anniversary. yay. not quite sure whats going on though cuz i have a huge test friday morning, and ryan has to work early, so yah.
anyway... maggie got her apartment, on kyrene and baseline, and she moves here in July. so thats exciting. it will be especially exciting since everyone is leaving next year and i will officially have NO friends.
im going to philly in june for my cousins high school graduation. we're also gonna make a trip to clayton, and new york city, so im really looking forward to it. TWO WEEKS, yay! it'll be nice to get away for awhile and figure my shit out.
i cant wait for the girls to come home from flag. i hope this summer is fun, and everyone isnt too busy to hang out.
my dad bought a boat, so we'll hafta make lots of camping trips and day trips to the lake.
ive decided im gonna try out for american idol this summer. just so i can say i did something. theres no doubt in my mind i wont make it through first cuts... but itll make myself feel like i attempted to do something with my life, and that makes me happy.
im sick of my life feeling so ordinary. im sick of my dead end, shit paying, stressful job. im sick of school and the fact that i never go. im sick of sitting at home every night because i dont have any friends or anything worth doing. im just sick of waking up and doing the same old shit day in and day out, and not having anything to look forward to and nothing to do about it. i feel like i should be working towards something, or be excited about something, instead of just sitting around waiting for my life to happen. im only 20 years old and im soo settled it makes me sick. but even the thought of doing something about it makes me stressed out, so i dont.
i dont need or want new friends... i just miss my old ones.
i dont have the time or energy to do a play... but i wish i would.
i cant work at childrens world forever... but i have nothing better to do.
i could be done with school next summer... but i wont apply myself.
i could move to philly for a month... but i dont have the money.
i could be single if i thought itd help... but im afraid of what i may regret.
dont u just hate "buts"
im going to bed.