do you prefer the easy way? No? well ok then, don't cry
So, Hunter S Thompson is dead, killed himself. Really too bad :( I had a good night last night. Hung out with a new friend and it was pretty comfortable really. Normally I'm not very comfortable with people right away, but something about this person kind of puts me at ease in a way. Anyway. Oh, and I got a new awesome cd out of the deal too!! Hooray for music!!!
I made my very first stencil today!!!! I went over to Carrie's house and cut out my first stencil and then put it on paper and it actually turned out pretty well :)
I can't wait to get crafty. I am not going to go out as much anymore, I think I will find things to busy myself with at home or with a few people.
I will go out to dance because it is an excellent release for me and I will go out to shows probably, but I don't really need to go out. Usually I go out to see people and have some human contact with friends or whatever. But really, I think I feel just as alone when I'm surrounded by a bunch of people as I do when I'm by myself, so why not actually accomplish something instead of sitting around watching people get shitfaced?
When I say I feel alone, I don't mean I'm lonely in the sense that I want a "significant other"- I'm not looking for a girlfriend or boyfriend, that'll find me when it's time I suppose - I'm looking for friends in general. Friends that I don't have to go to a bar to spend time with.
I have all this stuff and I need to vent and talk to people, but no one to say it to really. I say certain things to certain people, but half the time I don't even get to finish my story, thought, problem, worry, etc.
The other day, I sent Kelly this HUGE email telling her all this stuff because I had to get it out but who would I tell it to?
Anyway, in other news, I hate crushes-they're so stupid.I haven't had a serious crush in awhile. I wasn't even interested in that kind of stuff for a good period of time because it just seemed like more of a hassle than anything, and honestly the thought grossed me out, I had some other things I needed to take care of apparently-like myself, so in that way it was good. That was a huge run-on sentence, oops. Anyway, so this kind of hit me out of nowhere and that's exactly where it is going too, nowhere. I don't believe the feeling is reciprocated and that's totally fine, it's just annoying. haha. suck. Why can't I control the way I feel? hmmm? haha. Wouldn't that be nice. I mean obviously you can control it to some extent, but certain things you can't. And my facial expressions are the worst, cause I can usually pretend with words and stuff and totally play things cool, but I fear my face gives everything away. ahh, such is life. I've never been good at controlling my facial expressions, that's why I never usually have to say anything to let people know if I'm sad or angry, cause they can read it all over my face. Crappy, I can never hide anything, haha. This is also the reason that I am a horrible liar. I can never get away with anything, even if I wanted to. I would definitely not make a good poker player, if I knew how to play that is.
Oh how I wish I could shut my brain off sometimes.
Keep on keepin on and that is all.
Oh yeah, and fuck CASS COUNTY and their ridiculous lawsuits against a resident who didn't want to see a historical building torn down for no reason!!!! There is a benefit show for John Strand on Thursday I believe. Cass County is counter-suing him-the story is in the High Plains Reader-go out and support a good cause for someone who was just speaking their mind and is now being punished for it- FUCK!
I made my very first stencil today!!!! I went over to Carrie's house and cut out my first stencil and then put it on paper and it actually turned out pretty well :)
I can't wait to get crafty. I am not going to go out as much anymore, I think I will find things to busy myself with at home or with a few people.
I will go out to dance because it is an excellent release for me and I will go out to shows probably, but I don't really need to go out. Usually I go out to see people and have some human contact with friends or whatever. But really, I think I feel just as alone when I'm surrounded by a bunch of people as I do when I'm by myself, so why not actually accomplish something instead of sitting around watching people get shitfaced?
When I say I feel alone, I don't mean I'm lonely in the sense that I want a "significant other"- I'm not looking for a girlfriend or boyfriend, that'll find me when it's time I suppose - I'm looking for friends in general. Friends that I don't have to go to a bar to spend time with.
I have all this stuff and I need to vent and talk to people, but no one to say it to really. I say certain things to certain people, but half the time I don't even get to finish my story, thought, problem, worry, etc.
The other day, I sent Kelly this HUGE email telling her all this stuff because I had to get it out but who would I tell it to?
Anyway, in other news, I hate crushes-they're so stupid.I haven't had a serious crush in awhile. I wasn't even interested in that kind of stuff for a good period of time because it just seemed like more of a hassle than anything, and honestly the thought grossed me out, I had some other things I needed to take care of apparently-like myself, so in that way it was good. That was a huge run-on sentence, oops. Anyway, so this kind of hit me out of nowhere and that's exactly where it is going too, nowhere. I don't believe the feeling is reciprocated and that's totally fine, it's just annoying. haha. suck. Why can't I control the way I feel? hmmm? haha. Wouldn't that be nice. I mean obviously you can control it to some extent, but certain things you can't. And my facial expressions are the worst, cause I can usually pretend with words and stuff and totally play things cool, but I fear my face gives everything away. ahh, such is life. I've never been good at controlling my facial expressions, that's why I never usually have to say anything to let people know if I'm sad or angry, cause they can read it all over my face. Crappy, I can never hide anything, haha. This is also the reason that I am a horrible liar. I can never get away with anything, even if I wanted to. I would definitely not make a good poker player, if I knew how to play that is.
Oh how I wish I could shut my brain off sometimes.
Keep on keepin on and that is all.
Oh yeah, and fuck CASS COUNTY and their ridiculous lawsuits against a resident who didn't want to see a historical building torn down for no reason!!!! There is a benefit show for John Strand on Thursday I believe. Cass County is counter-suing him-the story is in the High Plains Reader-go out and support a good cause for someone who was just speaking their mind and is now being punished for it- FUCK!