New/Old
I've spent a few hours going through all 261 of my journal entries and tagging them. This is for future references, so I can find things easier if I need to remember something I wrote.
But wow. Surreal. I mean, looking back on old writing is always surreal.. but still I was going backwards and I noticed different periods in my LJ:
Now/Current Life
Trying to Get Over Armen
Depression & How Much Life Sucks
Insights about Relationships & Spirituality
Mindless Ramblings about High School and Harry Potter
The weird part was when I got to a point where I realized I was around Jasmine's age, or even younger. And I had all these happy-go-lucky entries, or wrote things that remind me now of what I was doing back then and how young and naive I was. And I'm literally cringing because I wish I could see myself back then right now and be like "NO! Don't do that! You'll get hurt! This person's not good for you, that person only wants your body, and that other person is a prick!" But I can't do that. (And yes, I'm aware it made me the person I am today, blah blah.) Which is why I try to do it to Jasmine instead. I know she should make her own mistakes but if she's making the same ones I did, that sucks.
But something I noticed, that I really wish wasn't true, is that I've made the same mistakes myself. I have trusted myself and told myself that I know better this time and won't make those mistakes again, but then I end up letting the same things happen over again.
So really, it's not the Old Mary that needs to listen to the New Mary, but the New Mary that should listen to the Old Mary.
Well jee, everything makes sense now!