My eyes, they bleed...They're yours, tonight...
I dont know where to start. Right now I have so much to say but so little want or energy to type all of it to half of you who don't care. Yet again I dont care if you care, since this is MY journal. Yeah.
H4H & TMS shows are amazing. It seems that I always have a wicked bad day/week, then when I arrive at their shows, and the environment of Tim and the others, I forget about all the stupid shit going on and I just cant stop smiling. That is why I really dont care that this whole week has been SHIT, because later today is going to make up for it all.
*Later on @ some point I am going home to get my mom's vehicle.
*Then heading to NHS to pick up CaitCait
*Then to WalMart & back to my house for some stuff
*Then perhaps picking Maria up
*And Mike
*Then going to Dante's to hang out with H4H and listen to them "practice"lol
*Then heading to the Crossing to watch them play. Everyone should go..ITS FREE ;) Starts @ 7.
*Aftewards, it will most likely get out a little before 12ish. Then I'll be heading home with everyonnnnnne and sleeping @ my house.
I think my boy is showing up after he gets out of work @ 8. That should be fun :D
I got my pictures back from last friday, i love them all. Most of them anyways. I'm taking more tonight and I'll most likely post some at a later date.
School is going alright. I got like 3 C+'s and 2 B+'s I think. I got a C+ in Calc, which is amazing. and the other two C+'s in Chem and English. Basically b/c MrSmart lost my ChemNotebook, so I had to redo ALL of the labs, and my excuse for English is because we've been through like 3 teachers...lol it's messed up. HST is going awesome and I like it-most days. I should really bring my grades up, and Im going to try to. Hoping that my sress level will reduce and I will be able to concentrate on something besides the bad stuff.
"Can you still be you without IT in your life?"
As for basketball.....After thinking for a long time, and discussing it with my mom & dad, and some really close friends (thank you Rich especially), and myself of course, I've decided that I just can't do it this year. I don't have the heart in it as much for some reason, like it's not fun for me anymore. People are going to say what they want about it but personally I dont give a shit. You dont know until you personally talk to me or if you are in my shoes. There is alot going on right now, with my family, mentally and especially financially...STILL. I think I just need a real solid job..I need to start saving my money so I can get my own car and I need to concentrate on school more. I have alot of other distractions going on in my life and I have a feeling that they arent going to help me improve in basketball or be any help to the team. It's breaking my heart and I know that Im going to miss it SO much..but only to a certain extent. Basketball is something that you have to dedicate yourself fully to, and I think I've lost that want for full dedication. Sorry girls.
Things with Matt have been going great. We have been spending an OK amount of time together, but in the end I think time apart makes the time we spend together SO much better. Lots of sleepovers, and we've been going out ALOT. He has been incredible and there hasn't been a time recently where he hasnt been there for me and backed me up on something. He's been really understanding and that is always a plus since alot of other people act like they care one second and not the next. Matt's not like that. He's so different for some reason. So special. :-*
If things heat up @ my house again, my mom has said it was okay for me to spend some time here..time away from everything and I think that might be good. She's scared though. She thinks that if she lets me leave, then I wont want to come back, and then she thinks Lilly will think she can leave too. I dont know the whole deal yet..I guess we'll just have to wait it out and hope that things in our house will calm down a bit. where's my little sister?
I really don't know what to write anymore. Im at a loss for words with the other stuff going on. If you are someone close to me you may already know anyways. and @ times I dont think that I need to disclose it to everyone with availability to my journal
Matt, I love you baby. Thank you for being there for me I honestly could not make it through half the shit without you. You are amazing. 06.02.03*****
H4H & TMS shows are amazing. It seems that I always have a wicked bad day/week, then when I arrive at their shows, and the environment of Tim and the others, I forget about all the stupid shit going on and I just cant stop smiling. That is why I really dont care that this whole week has been SHIT, because later today is going to make up for it all.
*Later on @ some point I am going home to get my mom's vehicle.
*Then heading to NHS to pick up CaitCait
*Then to WalMart & back to my house for some stuff
*Then perhaps picking Maria up
*And Mike
*Then going to Dante's to hang out with H4H and listen to them "practice"lol
*Then heading to the Crossing to watch them play. Everyone should go..ITS FREE ;) Starts @ 7.
*Aftewards, it will most likely get out a little before 12ish. Then I'll be heading home with everyonnnnnne and sleeping @ my house.
I think my boy is showing up after he gets out of work @ 8. That should be fun :D
I got my pictures back from last friday, i love them all. Most of them anyways. I'm taking more tonight and I'll most likely post some at a later date.
School is going alright. I got like 3 C+'s and 2 B+'s I think. I got a C+ in Calc, which is amazing. and the other two C+'s in Chem and English. Basically b/c MrSmart lost my ChemNotebook, so I had to redo ALL of the labs, and my excuse for English is because we've been through like 3 teachers...lol it's messed up. HST is going awesome and I like it-most days. I should really bring my grades up, and Im going to try to. Hoping that my sress level will reduce and I will be able to concentrate on something besides the bad stuff.
"Can you still be you without IT in your life?"
As for basketball.....After thinking for a long time, and discussing it with my mom & dad, and some really close friends (thank you Rich especially), and myself of course, I've decided that I just can't do it this year. I don't have the heart in it as much for some reason, like it's not fun for me anymore. People are going to say what they want about it but personally I dont give a shit. You dont know until you personally talk to me or if you are in my shoes. There is alot going on right now, with my family, mentally and especially financially...STILL. I think I just need a real solid job..I need to start saving my money so I can get my own car and I need to concentrate on school more. I have alot of other distractions going on in my life and I have a feeling that they arent going to help me improve in basketball or be any help to the team. It's breaking my heart and I know that Im going to miss it SO much..but only to a certain extent. Basketball is something that you have to dedicate yourself fully to, and I think I've lost that want for full dedication. Sorry girls.
Things with Matt have been going great. We have been spending an OK amount of time together, but in the end I think time apart makes the time we spend together SO much better. Lots of sleepovers, and we've been going out ALOT. He has been incredible and there hasn't been a time recently where he hasnt been there for me and backed me up on something. He's been really understanding and that is always a plus since alot of other people act like they care one second and not the next. Matt's not like that. He's so different for some reason. So special. :-*
If things heat up @ my house again, my mom has said it was okay for me to spend some time here..time away from everything and I think that might be good. She's scared though. She thinks that if she lets me leave, then I wont want to come back, and then she thinks Lilly will think she can leave too. I dont know the whole deal yet..I guess we'll just have to wait it out and hope that things in our house will calm down a bit. where's my little sister?
I really don't know what to write anymore. Im at a loss for words with the other stuff going on. If you are someone close to me you may already know anyways. and @ times I dont think that I need to disclose it to everyone with availability to my journal
Matt, I love you baby. Thank you for being there for me I honestly could not make it through half the shit without you. You are amazing. 06.02.03*****