(no subject)
Not that anyone will bother to post back but I figure I paid for this fucking thing I may as well use it.
Halloween is my least favourite event of the year. Frankly I just think it's an excuse to teenagers to get drunk and kids to get cavities. I hate the stupid decorations people put up on their houses and the tramatizing experience of buying a costume and I've never even really been one for candy and I hate chocolate so that basically makes me the scrouge of Halloween. I'm sorry, I just througly dispise this holiday. Another reason I hate it so much is because it reminds me of someone who is no longer with us. Jordan. His annual Halloween party was the place to be every year. His family litteraly spent hundreds on this party. The entire house was transformed and you only got to go if you were invited (read: "Cool") I was invited for several years but only attended once. It was fun I guess. But Jordan died almost two years ago in a car accident very near my house and so every year since then it's the only thing that's on my mind at Halloween. I was put of partying because of that...Jordan was drinking and driving unfortuatly and so every year when I hear sirens on Halloween I just hate this holiday even more.
Another person who has been on my mind a lot recently is my best friend. Do you ever feel like you are losing someone who you once swore you knew inside and out? That's what I've been feeling like. She's out of control and I don't know what to tell her. This isn't just casual drinking and lightinh up a joint every know and then this is all the time. I don't understand; I used to be more of the wild child compared to her but know she's getting involved with some people who are just no good at all. She wants to fit in so badly but when I said that she almost bit my head of right then and there. She's changed so much; just her personality to normal things is so different...she's subdued and sometimes rude and resentful towards her friends...mainly me. She called me on Thanksgiving at 2AM; completley wasted and...she was talking so much shit about things...again, mainly me and my boyfriend. I hung up on her and she phoned back CRYING and saying she was so sorry. I find it weird that out of anyone she could have called, she called me. Is that some sort of sign that she needs me in some odd way, that it was some drunken cry for help or am I just reading too much into something meaningful. I confronted her a while back and just told her that I was seriously concerned about her. You know what she said "Kels, Don't worry about me okay? Just let me live a little. I'm happy now" I felt like screaming at her that if drinking and drugs are the only thing thats making her happy then there are a lot of issues to deal with. God, okay the occasional party is okay but if you are one other person are the only people drinking (alone) then that is seriously something to worry about. Fuck, I used to know this girl so fucking well but now I don't even really know how to act around her or how to treat her. But if I told her any of this she would get so mad and probably tell me that not everyones lives are fucking perfect. For some reason she thinks mine is. I thought she knew me better than that.
I've started to hang out with a few other girls recently and they're nice and not complicated and certainly don't party. It's a nice change from all the social drama that high school has been. I went over to one girl's house yesterday for her birthday and we ended up all sleeping over and watching to hockey game and some other movies. It was so un-compliacted and enjoyable that I'm starting to wonder if my real friends aren't really my real friends. Ali and I went to lunch before and I can at least say that me and her are completley fine. One friendship down, so many more to go.
Can I just say this completley un-biased? If anyone is looking for a Christmas CD this season then get Il Divo's Christmas Collection. It is so amazing and so pure and gets you in that holiday spirit. Their voices are absolutly haunting. It's like they were made to sing Christmas songs. Here's the info:
1. O Holy Night
2. White Christmas
3. Ave Maria
4. When a Child Is Born
5. Adeste Fideles (O Come All Ye Faithful)
6. Over the Rainbow
7. Panis Angelicus
8. Rejoice
9. Silent Night
10. Lord's Prayer
Just take my word for it, you won't regret it, I guarentee.
Halloween is my least favourite event of the year. Frankly I just think it's an excuse to teenagers to get drunk and kids to get cavities. I hate the stupid decorations people put up on their houses and the tramatizing experience of buying a costume and I've never even really been one for candy and I hate chocolate so that basically makes me the scrouge of Halloween. I'm sorry, I just througly dispise this holiday. Another reason I hate it so much is because it reminds me of someone who is no longer with us. Jordan. His annual Halloween party was the place to be every year. His family litteraly spent hundreds on this party. The entire house was transformed and you only got to go if you were invited (read: "Cool") I was invited for several years but only attended once. It was fun I guess. But Jordan died almost two years ago in a car accident very near my house and so every year since then it's the only thing that's on my mind at Halloween. I was put of partying because of that...Jordan was drinking and driving unfortuatly and so every year when I hear sirens on Halloween I just hate this holiday even more.
Another person who has been on my mind a lot recently is my best friend. Do you ever feel like you are losing someone who you once swore you knew inside and out? That's what I've been feeling like. She's out of control and I don't know what to tell her. This isn't just casual drinking and lightinh up a joint every know and then this is all the time. I don't understand; I used to be more of the wild child compared to her but know she's getting involved with some people who are just no good at all. She wants to fit in so badly but when I said that she almost bit my head of right then and there. She's changed so much; just her personality to normal things is so different...she's subdued and sometimes rude and resentful towards her friends...mainly me. She called me on Thanksgiving at 2AM; completley wasted and...she was talking so much shit about things...again, mainly me and my boyfriend. I hung up on her and she phoned back CRYING and saying she was so sorry. I find it weird that out of anyone she could have called, she called me. Is that some sort of sign that she needs me in some odd way, that it was some drunken cry for help or am I just reading too much into something meaningful. I confronted her a while back and just told her that I was seriously concerned about her. You know what she said "Kels, Don't worry about me okay? Just let me live a little. I'm happy now" I felt like screaming at her that if drinking and drugs are the only thing thats making her happy then there are a lot of issues to deal with. God, okay the occasional party is okay but if you are one other person are the only people drinking (alone) then that is seriously something to worry about. Fuck, I used to know this girl so fucking well but now I don't even really know how to act around her or how to treat her. But if I told her any of this she would get so mad and probably tell me that not everyones lives are fucking perfect. For some reason she thinks mine is. I thought she knew me better than that.
I've started to hang out with a few other girls recently and they're nice and not complicated and certainly don't party. It's a nice change from all the social drama that high school has been. I went over to one girl's house yesterday for her birthday and we ended up all sleeping over and watching to hockey game and some other movies. It was so un-compliacted and enjoyable that I'm starting to wonder if my real friends aren't really my real friends. Ali and I went to lunch before and I can at least say that me and her are completley fine. One friendship down, so many more to go.
Can I just say this completley un-biased? If anyone is looking for a Christmas CD this season then get Il Divo's Christmas Collection. It is so amazing and so pure and gets you in that holiday spirit. Their voices are absolutly haunting. It's like they were made to sing Christmas songs. Here's the info:
1. O Holy Night
2. White Christmas
3. Ave Maria
4. When a Child Is Born
5. Adeste Fideles (O Come All Ye Faithful)
6. Over the Rainbow
7. Panis Angelicus
8. Rejoice
9. Silent Night
10. Lord's Prayer
Just take my word for it, you won't regret it, I guarentee.