(no subject)
i want to get a tattoo. i might do some photo shoots soon.
im hoping i can win that money for the bikini contest
i was kinda upset awhile ago
i posted in a nonugly group and all i get is negative comments
its the same on ftj
i know im not fuckin ugly.
im different looking because im of two races. i have 4 nationalities. sorry i do get upset because i look like my father who is black but a white version.
im also portuguese.irish.slovien.indian.
fuck yes im going to look different. im sick of people categorizing me & people who use the word "nigger, negro, negros" like its nothing.
im going to go around and call people honkies and chinks because it makes me sound cool. when we went to the flats there was nothing but black people i never fuckin once referred to them as negros. especially if your not black you dont have any right using that word.
it seriously makes me have low self esteem because of one i feel like i dont even belong here in my town. i cant be myself and then i have people telling me im fucking weird looking and on top of that i have guys thinking im a prude or a slut. i could have tottally kicked with a few people if they didnt categorize me because they didnt understand me. seriously, guys who just want to fuck me because im hot to them. i dont even know who i am. even tho im all girly im not because i have so many sides to me. i listen to everything all my friends like pop & rap. so i go to clubs and dance to it. then i get so depressed because i have nothing in common with anyone. i feel like im living a lie. i love punk, hardcore, emo, techno, screamo.
then i like classical, opera, jazz. i like to dress prepppy but i love dressing like a slut. i like porn stars. i like bad girls & guys with tattoos and peircings.
i have an obsession with her. i wish i could live her life.
i think i look like a mix between
in reality maybe i do know myself really well but im blinded.
i dont know...reply to this
im watching jj and he was completely having this fit. kicking his feet and im trying to put his diaper on.
i couldnt help but laugh. oh and i talked to neil on the phone. hes a sweet heart. he made me feel better.
god fuckin perfection. you know how that goes.....how guys cant ever be good enough and you still find yourself looking.
the guys who you want dont ever want to settle.............................................