i've got soul but..

[juicebxrebelion]

tonight was low key, but i'm glad because i really need to calm down and take a breather. anyways, here i am now waiting up for my brothers phone call... hopefully he doesn't call too late, i'd like to sleep tonight. i'm watching nightmere on elm street though, so i might not be able to sleep. i'm stupid i shouldn't watch it but oh well!!! anthony and i had a good conversation at starbucks, he's my best friend and i'm happy to of met him.

matt's probably home by now. i hope he did well at his competition, i know he did, he always does well. i didn't get to talk to him tonight, but that's okay i think we're going to hang out tomorrow.

i think this is pretty... it soothes me.



i know i shouldn't post this here... but i will because i think that coming out with it may  make me feel better and let me sleep for tonight.
i love matt kaiser but i don't think that he loves me back. maybe i did something wrong? but i'm afraid that tomorrow will be the last day i can call him my boyfriend. inspite of my fears, i will hope for the best. i'm hoping that he doesn't see this post. actually... i'm hoping that no one does. this is for my own comfort more than anything. i'll keep my chin up though. it may not be what i think or what i'm feeling. which i hope it isn't.... only tomorrow can tell though.

goodnight everyone, i hope you all sleep well.