Paradise Lost
I'm so drained. I just got into a huge argument with my brother about him returning my things, or the money to compensate, NOW. I was tired of waiting, tired of being walked on, because that's definitely something that will never happen in my life again. He tried to seem tough throughout, but when I left, mom tells me he broke down. He didn't break down, I tore him down. Everything, absolutely EVERYTHING that I've felt and kept in for years for the sake of decent behaviour came out, and he was left the worthless shell that he is. Mom tells me that what I said was hurtful, and I'm glad. I hope I hurt him. I hope he aches and loses sleep for nights on end because of that. Pain is the only thing that ever truly changes anybody.
So mom and dad say that I should still value him as a human being. Even though he may be worthless, disgusting trash, he still has a human soul, and should be valued, that, in God's eyes, he is still a valuable thing. Oh, unless of course he loses his faith, then he's cast into eternal damnation. I definitely see that as value. Even if someone lives a perfectly noble, structured life... wait, they're Buddhist? To hell with them. Value. Right.
Value? You earn value. Every single aspect of every singly creed or practice or menial standard dictates that you EARN value. I'm fed up. I'm doing my work, I've earned what I have, and my brother has earned what he's received. That's the way it is.
I used to value everyone, but I've learned better. You cannot argue with that, and if you decide to, I'm not listening, because you obviously haven't learned yet.
Please, child in me, forgive me, but you are no longer needed here.
So mom and dad say that I should still value him as a human being. Even though he may be worthless, disgusting trash, he still has a human soul, and should be valued, that, in God's eyes, he is still a valuable thing. Oh, unless of course he loses his faith, then he's cast into eternal damnation. I definitely see that as value. Even if someone lives a perfectly noble, structured life... wait, they're Buddhist? To hell with them. Value. Right.
Value? You earn value. Every single aspect of every singly creed or practice or menial standard dictates that you EARN value. I'm fed up. I'm doing my work, I've earned what I have, and my brother has earned what he's received. That's the way it is.
I used to value everyone, but I've learned better. You cannot argue with that, and if you decide to, I'm not listening, because you obviously haven't learned yet.
Please, child in me, forgive me, but you are no longer needed here.