Renji....he's not....not there.
........that means I.....I really......I...did it again....
....I don't....deserve my life...not if I...took his.
.........................
Ichigo, where are you.....
[ooc: So she ran away to avoid getting healed, and went looking for Renji, but he's not at his apt. So she's assuming the worst and assuming she actually DID kill him.]