blahblahblah yeah i guess i'm a dirty tramp
I know i haven't been there lately for any of u and i feel awful about it. I feel like a bad friend in a way but i'm enjoying the time i have left and making it less stressful on myself for my last year. yes i know i'm antisocial now but i kinda think its good in a way. last year i fought for everyone to stick together for our senior and junior year and let high school bullshit go. It didn't work so therefore i left it alone. I'm so scared about college and where i'm going to be in the next ten years its hard for me to confront people about it. in some sense i feel as if i'm going to be successful but i have this fear of a huge cloud draping over me and telling me i wont accomplish my dreams. IN other news no my family life isn't going so well and i figured since i annoyed the crap out of u guys last year about it i wouldn't tell u this year i want u guys to worry about urselves and take care of ur problems rather then thinking about mine. I love u guys more than anything. yes derek is a big part of my life, and no matter what happens between us i want u to know i'm here if any u guys have problems. just call i'm only a cell phone awAy. or home phone lol. i'm done with the party scene i dont' like doing that anymore it got boring and i heard enough alcoholic shit last year and im trying to keep myself away from the pills and shit. Kristy u know how hard it was for me last year u were the only one who knew and i thanked u for that. I told derek that i'm scared to be alone cause i might do it again and i know u wont let me. i'm trying so hard to make myself stop but its extremely hard when i get a well deserved guilt trip and trust me no that was not sarcasm. i know i can be a bitch and really anal about my life now but trust me give me a little time and i'll be back to normal again. i love u so much!
When i told u about the whole living situation i was looking for a person to back me up not a defense line that said i dont' care about my friends. cause trust me i miss u guys too.
When i told u about the whole living situation i was looking for a person to back me up not a defense line that said i dont' care about my friends. cause trust me i miss u guys too.