(no subject)

[jugabee01]

school house rock is playing on my television. i just thought you would like to know.

i just thought you would like to know, that i am doing just fine.
i have perfected that false smile, and that laugh.
happyness comes with a price.
something i'm not willing to pay.
so i'll settle for that cheap store brand.
and pretend everythings okay.
and when you go off and tell me how happy you are
i'll fake a smile and say i'm happy for you
but deep inside it kills me.
because i can never be happy
i won't let myself.
i want to.
but rejection hurts too much.
i want to believe you when you say
that being happy is better than being hurt.
but i've never experienced real happyness.
but oh, how i know what hurt is.
i don't like it.
so i'm careful with my feelings or
atleast what's left of them.
so when you ask if i care.
i do. i care too much.
i just don't show it.
or let myself feel it.
i can't get hurt right?
if i never give into emotions?
wrong.
i'm always wrong.
i'm always hurt.
my emotions are always left on my sleeve
for the whole world to see.
i'm always there to pick you up
but who's there for me?