the true meaning of old school and irony
(Circa 2000)
My most faithful friend (a prophet, surely)
Kindly let me know
A bit of wisdom I had thought
No high-schooler would know.
He said, not even blinking,
When I told him of my plight,
"Faithful faces shine their brightest
"In persecution's light."
Old school: me believing in God, me WANTING to believe in God, calling David "Ducky,: sophomore year in high school, being proud of my "poetry" (ie limericks).
David: your description of me in high school is more who I am now than who I was then. Who I was then was, I think, the opposite of what you wrote. But that's okay. It's hard to think/remember that people can and do change. Once someone is who they are, it's hard to keep from thinking they were always that way.
This may sound terrible, but I think I really regret having said anything to you about being a prophet. Not that it's not great for you and hasn't been a positive force in your life. It's partly the irony that what I said pushed you "closer to God" so to speak, and as the years went on I got further and further away from religion (and now I am an atheist). The other part of my regret is that I am just not in the least bit comfortable having had that much influence in someone's life, firstly without knowing it, and secondly because I feel that everything you believe about God is a fairy tale and can be explained by science, and thirdly because, while I know no one can escape influencing other people's lives entirely, I have somehow come face-to-face with this particular influence, which is akward and uncomfortable for me even in the best of circumstances. If, 20 or 30 years from now, I find out I had something to do with, for example, someone I really like and admire and generally agree with about the world becoming president- I would not be comfortable with that. I suppose there are ways I would not mind being a part of history (the world's or just people's personal histories that no one will remember later), but I would rather it be on my own terms and that it speak for itself (my writing, for example- sure, it can be interpreted wildly differently by everyone, but, "it is what it is." Res ipsa loquitur.).
So I really just wanted to write down somewhere (here I guess) that I'm really not comfortable with my part in all this, however positively anyone else views it, and I really think the irony of me being the reason you believe you're a prophet and therefore became close to God- it speaks more to it being a sensational story fit for a novel, and not so much god's doing. And on that note I would also like to clarify/correct something else you wrote: god did NOT speak to me, not on that day and not ever. Sorry. And about the poem- well, what do you expect from someone who is and always has been easily impressed with clever sayings? Anyone who has known me for a good amount of time can vouch for my fondness of clever quotes. At the time, when you said to me, "Faithful faces shine their brightest in persecution's light," the level of certainty and sophistocation in that reply was so beyond anything I ever expected... Well, you impressed me. And as often happens when something impresses me (good or bad), I wrote about it. And, as I often feel after the novelty of one of my poems has worn off, I now find both the poem and it's subject silly, trivial, ridiculous... embarrassing. And here, again, is the irony (yes, irony, not god's influence): back when I wrote that poem, you thought it was silly while I took it rather seriously.
And look how the tables have turned in the last 10 years.
Oh, irony. Oh, oh irony.
My most faithful friend (a prophet, surely)
Kindly let me know
A bit of wisdom I had thought
No high-schooler would know.
He said, not even blinking,
When I told him of my plight,
"Faithful faces shine their brightest
"In persecution's light."
Old school: me believing in God, me WANTING to believe in God, calling David "Ducky,: sophomore year in high school, being proud of my "poetry" (ie limericks).
David: your description of me in high school is more who I am now than who I was then. Who I was then was, I think, the opposite of what you wrote. But that's okay. It's hard to think/remember that people can and do change. Once someone is who they are, it's hard to keep from thinking they were always that way.
This may sound terrible, but I think I really regret having said anything to you about being a prophet. Not that it's not great for you and hasn't been a positive force in your life. It's partly the irony that what I said pushed you "closer to God" so to speak, and as the years went on I got further and further away from religion (and now I am an atheist). The other part of my regret is that I am just not in the least bit comfortable having had that much influence in someone's life, firstly without knowing it, and secondly because I feel that everything you believe about God is a fairy tale and can be explained by science, and thirdly because, while I know no one can escape influencing other people's lives entirely, I have somehow come face-to-face with this particular influence, which is akward and uncomfortable for me even in the best of circumstances. If, 20 or 30 years from now, I find out I had something to do with, for example, someone I really like and admire and generally agree with about the world becoming president- I would not be comfortable with that. I suppose there are ways I would not mind being a part of history (the world's or just people's personal histories that no one will remember later), but I would rather it be on my own terms and that it speak for itself (my writing, for example- sure, it can be interpreted wildly differently by everyone, but, "it is what it is." Res ipsa loquitur.).
So I really just wanted to write down somewhere (here I guess) that I'm really not comfortable with my part in all this, however positively anyone else views it, and I really think the irony of me being the reason you believe you're a prophet and therefore became close to God- it speaks more to it being a sensational story fit for a novel, and not so much god's doing. And on that note I would also like to clarify/correct something else you wrote: god did NOT speak to me, not on that day and not ever. Sorry. And about the poem- well, what do you expect from someone who is and always has been easily impressed with clever sayings? Anyone who has known me for a good amount of time can vouch for my fondness of clever quotes. At the time, when you said to me, "Faithful faces shine their brightest in persecution's light," the level of certainty and sophistocation in that reply was so beyond anything I ever expected... Well, you impressed me. And as often happens when something impresses me (good or bad), I wrote about it. And, as I often feel after the novelty of one of my poems has worn off, I now find both the poem and it's subject silly, trivial, ridiculous... embarrassing. And here, again, is the irony (yes, irony, not god's influence): back when I wrote that poem, you thought it was silly while I took it rather seriously.
And look how the tables have turned in the last 10 years.
Oh, irony. Oh, oh irony.