Aquadisiac 5

[judyku]

Title: Aquadisiac
Author: Judyku
Email: Miss_Incognito4@live.co.uk
Rating: NC-17
Category: Smallville/Angel crossover
Genre: Humour/Romance
Summary: A random kiss from a pretty brunette leads to romance, demon auctions, and ugly gray blobby things.
Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Arthur Curry
Disclaimer: I own nixies
Distribution: Here, AO3, and anyplace else that will accept this.

Angel had seen many sights in his centuries, but none quite so eye opening as Wesley Wyndham-Pryce dressed head-to-toe in black leather and pointing a crossbow directly at his face.

"Hello, Angel." Was the polite greeting.

The vampire put his hands in his pockets and carefully regarded the Englishman. Surely this couldn't be Barney's pursuer? If so, then they didn't make demons like they used too. "Wesley."

He waited until the man got halfway through his warning before he easily knocked the weapon out of his hand. "You were saying?" He asked, struggling to keep his amusement to himself. He wanted information and it was a well known fact more flies were caught with honey.

Wesley sniffed as he pretended to look around the apartment. "I'm on the trail of a particularly nasty bugger right now, so I suggest you stay out of my way."

Angel pursed his lips as he really looked at the other man.

There was more confidence in his stance than the vampire saw in Sunnydale, his tone didn't seem as stiff or uptight as once upon a time. Then there was the fact of Wesley's strong pursuit of Barney. While Barney wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the box, he was still a demon and demons were tricky things to track at the best of times, much less halfway across the States.

It seemed the Brit had come a long way from disparaged Watcher of two slayers.

"You're a demon hunter." Angel surmised and though the man didn't answer, it was pretty obvious. "You might be making a mistake with who you're after. This guy seems pretty harmless to me."

"Harmless?" Wesley asked. "He's left a trail of mutilated corpses, human and demon. Each victim was in possession of some unique power, telepathy, healing hands... The physical source of the power was ripped, gouged, or torn from their dead body. My guess is he's..."

"Collecting powers." Angel murmured to himself, then looked at the ex-watcher. "I wonder if Barney's hiding from that killer, not you."

Confusion flashed on Wesley's face. "Barney?"

"My client. He's empathic. What's this demon you're hunting look like? Short, ruddy complexion?"

"Short? Oh no. Rather huge, as a matter of fact and very dangerous. Lately it seems to be excreting some viscous fluid..."

Angel noticed a yellow substance that dripped from the ledge of a smashed window. "You mean like this?" He touched it and showed Wesley. "Possibly from a kungai. One that's been injured. Sharp teeth, stocky build, wrinkled forehead sound familiar?"

"Why yes." The Englishman blew out a breath of frustration. "I was this close."

The vampire wiped his fingers on Barney's threadbare curtain. "Listen, Wes. You heard anything about meta-humans?"

Wesley's eyes squinted behind his glasses. "Meta-human? In what aspect?"

"Cordy has a new friend," Angel explained, his tone serious enough to quash any and all comments the other man might have had. "More than human, less than demon."

The ex Watcher rubbed his chin in deep thought. "There's been speculation and a lot of interest in some vigilantes that have formed a group of sorts. The word is they're not human and when I say human, I mean not of this world."

Okay, if the sight of Wesley Wyndham-Pryce decked in leather wasn't enough to make him stare, then that statement surely was. It got worse when the Englishman put it into laymen’s terms. "Aliens."

"Aliens," Angel parroted and received a nod of affirmation, which made him chuckle. "Wesley..."

Wesley shook his head, almost immediately reverting to the bookish man he knew in Sunnydale. "No, Angel. There is always fact among fiction and there are records, eye witness accounts to testify to such things. Crashing planes stopped several feet before they hit the ground, people rescued from avalanches and other disasters... Then there was the alarming report of a specific symbol appearing on several structures around the globe."

"Tell me more."

XXX

"That's what you saw?" Arthur asked as he held Cordelia's sketch of her vision.

"In all its glory." She replied and flopped back in the chair. "It doesn't look dangerous, does it? Just ugly."

"You can say that again." The drawing showed a weird lump at the top followed by two more equally weird lumps, one in the middle and one that made up the bottom. "What do you think it is?"

Cordelia shrugged. "A decayed ice sculpture for all I know."

"I hear drawing can be very therapeutic during a grieving period."

"What?" She looked up from her sketch and the expression on her face told AC there was more to this Doyle than a simple colleague.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help sensing your pain. I mean, you just lost someone close to you, didn't you?" Barney asked as he jumped up onto a stool.

"You never said and I know Angel didn't tell you, so how do you know?"

"I'm empathic. I feel your feelings when you feel them. It's a gift my kind are blessed with."

"Like AC said, our kind think some things are private, so maybe you shouldn't be nosing around other people's feelings without asking them." Cordelia's facial expression made her verbal point.

Barney gestured with his hands. "Y-you're right. I'm sorry. I was just trying to be part of the conversation."

AC resisted the urge to roll his eyes when Cordelia finally decided to let her softer side show. "Barney, wait. I'm sorry. I'm just going through a difficult time right now. I'm just..."

"Missing your friend." Barney finished and Arthur hurt for her. "Why don't you tell us about him. I'm sure AC would like to know what size shoes he's gonna be filling."

"I don't want to fill anyone's shoes." AC snapped, offended on both his behalf and Cordelia's. "Doyle was obviously important, dude, so don't cheapen his memory and don't cheapen Cordy."

That was it. That demon was just a dickwad. Evil, but not evil or no. There was such a thing as respect for a lady...

And AC made a mental note have a few words with Bart about holding his tongue. Now he knew what Cordelia must have felt like when his friends judged her without knowing anything and they were trustworthy humans.

"Doyle?" Cordelia half chuckled. "For a start, he drank too much and his taste in clothing was like a Greek tragedy, though AC's attire isn't that much better. I mean, green and orange? But Doyle... He could be really sweet sometimes. He was half demon. A secret he kept from me for like ever, which I still don't get. I mean, hello. I work for a vampire and I've known a slayer since high school, but whatever and Doyle knew that."

AC inwardly frowned.

Yes this Doyle guy was important to Cordelia and it was obvious Doyle had designs on Cordelia, who had returned the feelings somewhat, but what she just said...

It reminded him of so many men in the League, Clark Kent in particular, who were scared about divulging their second life to the woman they loved. So scared to trust women, but hearing it now from the opposite side of the fence, Arthur felt like blushing. Not all women were emotionally fragile creatures unable to handle the day-to-day life of a male hero and it wrong to underestimate them just because of gender and the fact they weren't directly involved with the League.

"Sexist." Barney stated with a smile that AC would class as genuine.

The swimmer responded without thinking. "Tell me about it, dude. I've never thought about it as sexist before, but it is and they totally are." He would be damned if he'd treat Cordelia with that level of disrespect.

"I don't know what it is. I don't know." Cordelia's frustrated voice disrupted his thoughts. "Maybe I can look again, get a better idea."

Concern showed on Arthur's face. "It hurt you enough the first time."

"Yeah, but nobody knows what it is." She pointed out. "If I start drooling, will one of you kiss me? Again."

AC laughed and pulled her close enough for him to kiss her forehead. "If you start drooling, I'll pretend I'm giving a strip tease. Deal?"

He musta said something else right because she turned to him and he felt her nose against his chest. "Do I get to put dollar bills in your pants?"

"I'd prefer you in my pants."

He literally felt her smile before he saw and when he did see it, he knew she was the girl he was gonna marry. Man, Cordelia's smile was everything he ever dreamed about. God, her smile held nothing back.

Her smile was so amazing, the beauty mark on her right cheek disappeared under her wavy hair, and he saw all her teeth and her eyes glowed. "So you like the crude if it comes from someone you know."

"That wasn't crude. That was wishful thinking."

AC had a feeling he was one of the few people who saw her for who she actually was, instead of just some girl who spoke her mind. He thought about pulling the old yawn and stretch game to put his arm around, but she was too straight forward for those types of games.

So he simply draped an arm around her shoulders and made a point of squeezing her a bit too tight. "Damn right it was wishful thinking. Now get sketching again."

He laughed when Cordelia groaned her annoyance, then laughed even more when she set about properly drawing what she saw in her vision all the while pouting like a professional. While she did that, he kept a close eye on Barney, only taking his attention from the demon when his woman held up the paper.

"That's it. That's all I keep seeing." She held up the yellow paper pad Angel had given her. "Just this."

"If you trust me, I can send a photo of this to Chloe. She's the best at this sorta stuff." AC offered. It would also give him a chance to send out the red alert that something was about to go down and his gut told him Barney was up to his eyeballs in it.

"You think?" She asked with hope in her voice. "She could really find out what this is? It'd make life so much easier. Since Doyle, Angel and I have just kinda been keeping our heads above water, you know?"

Suddenly, earlier words from Cordelia popped into his head. Tries to steal your eyes, she'd said, or something to that effect. Those words solidified his gut instinct that the gray blobby thing was not out for the demon, but for her eyes and the Barney dude definitely had something to do with it.

"I do. Gimme your sketch and sit tight. I'll get this sent to the boys." AC took the paper and slipped his cell out of his pocket, not moving from the love seat until after he gave her cheek a reassuring kiss.

He moved to the far side of Angel's apartment to get some privacy before dialled home. Now, how to get the message across without alerting an empathic demon...

The light bulb lit up again. "Calling all occupants of interplanetary craft." No-one could say he wasn't creative with code language.

"Go ahead, Fishstick."

AC didn't bother to take the bait. "You on call tonight?"

"Read you loud and clear."

"Sending image."

"Copy, Archer out."

The swimmer quickly took a picture of Cordelia's sketch and within seconds, it was sent to the hands of Miss Know-It-All. He grinned as he turned the tracker on then made his way back to the couch.

Chloe would hand him his ass if she knew what he secretly called her, despite the affectionate meaning behind it.

AC smiled when he sat and nudged her with his shoulder, then frowned when a replying smile didn't make an appearance. Concern rose up. "I'm not just a handsome face and great kisser, you know. Been told I'm also a damn good listener, too."

Her lips flickered a little. "That right?"

"I'd believe him." Barney interrupted as he sat down on a free chair. "He just screams of sensitivity. In a manly way, of course."

Cordelia glared at the intruder. "You hear him say he's a good listener and see his physical show of moral support and say he's sensitive? Amazing."

The demon raised his hands in submission. "Hey, I'm just saying. I'd take him up on the offer if I were you. Maybe I can help?"

AC didn't have a chance to stop the brunette from talking about her visions and as curious as he was, he really didn't want that demon to know anything.

Cordelia huffed. "Not unless you can tell me why I have to suffer skull splitting migraines with scratch n sniff visions that are so vague, they require an in depth transcript."

The swimmer internally groaned before he set about keeping her from blabbing as much info as possible. "I hate to remark on the hostess with the mostess, but I'm outta wat..."

"Do I look like a waitress to you?" She snapped. "Anyway, Doyle had these... Brain flashes, like messages from the PTB."

"More coffee? Cordy, Barney?" AC asked loudly in an effort to get attention away from Cordelia's need to talk to anyone who would listen to her pain. He'd gladly listen to her all week if she would just take a hint and keep quiet, a word he figured that wasn't in her vocab.

The demon's next question put a stop to his effort. "PTB?"

"Powers That Be." She replied simply. "And coffee sounds good. Milk, two sugars in mine."

AC felt like wiping his brow, but instead found himself staring into two beautiful hazel eyes. "Anything you want, Cor."

Nothing, and he really meant nothing, was ever gonna happen to those eyes.

XXX

Barney looked to over his shoulder to ensure the seer and the meta-human were engaged with themselves. Their emotions were like freaking billboard signs and as much fun as it would be to toy, he had bigger fish to fry. Saying that, he'd definitely spare some time to play with the seer, but she wasn't alone and metas were known for increased strength.

He grinned as he thought about which meta was now in his hands and the price he'd get for his catch. Oh, there were prices for all the metas, but the more elusive ones made for a bigger pay day. Since the one referred to as Aquaman hardly ever showed his face, no doubt due to his nature, he was right up there with Cyborg and Impulse.

Green Arrow was in a league of his very own and with a price of his very own, too. Barney rubbed his hands together at the mere thought of catching that one, but apparently that was for one man and one man alone. Once his success with the fish reached the grapevine, it was certain this man would be happy to negotiate, especially when word got out he also captured a human seer.

Then after that there was, of course, their handler. Nobody knew who it was, only that the handler went by the name Watchtower and Barney could dream of capturing that one. The coin the handler would bring would be astronomical and if Watchtower was caught, then all the others would fall to their knees with the weight of that do gooder guilty feeling of failure to protect.

Oh yes.

Today was going to be a very good day for the pockets.

The demon doubled checked the couple before he slipped his phone out of his pocket and dialled. "It's me. Yes, I got the Kungai horn. What do you take me for? Of course it's in a safe place. Listen. I've found something even better."

He hung up before the two could take notice and ever so carefully began a leisurely stroll around. "I gotta say." And hell if he didn't hate his innocent voice. "Angel has some nice digs."

A conversation would see how distracted they were and the seer's offhanded, "Angel's totally anal when it comes to his place," told him she was more focused on the meta.

Barney fingered a large weapon, but decided against it as it would cause too much damage and injuries lowered the price. He needed something smaller, preferably without blade, so he kept looking. The vampire had a lot of choice and some would earn a pretty coin, yet nothing seemed to suit his needs.

Well, except for the telephone cord which would come in handy for tying the seer up and wasn't that just a tasty image?

He looked over his shoulder again, this time his attention on Cordelia's body rather than what she was doing. So what if she was a filthy human? She still had tits and ass, didn't she?

Barney smirked as he imagined what she'd look while being screwed by a demon.

XXX

While he'd been laughing and joking around with Cordelia, AC had also been keeping his eyes and ears firmly open. To say he didn't trust Barney was the understatement of understatements. Being what he was, he had the extraordinary ability to conduct vibrations, much in the same way a shark would pick up on the easy meal of a fish in distress.

Since Cordelia had implied today marked her first vision, the swimmer knew it was impossible for the demon to know about it beforehand. This made AC wonder if Barney had come to Angel with genuine reasons. At least, until Cordelia made it world knowledge she was now the proud owner of visions.

When that little slice of info got out, the demon's air had changed. Not much, but in a subtle way that spoke loud and clear of bad intentions. Unfortunately heightened his anxiety and he was afraid.

Afraid for her and afraid for himself. How the hell was he supposed to fight a demon? How strong were they? What was Barney's weaknesses and more to the point, did he have any?

AC took a deep breath to calm himself. He wouldn't be any good to Cordelia if he flipped out. If only they were in the water, he could the demon to the fish.

"Ah, but we're not." Barney's voice was now devoid of all the pretence of innocence.

"We're not what?" Cordelia asked, confused at the sudden change in demeanour.

"Your boyfriend here wants to go play with the fishies. He doesn't want to be around you anymore than Doyle did."

AC's jaw clenched tight. "You wanna shut your mouth or I'll..."

"Shut it for me? So much bravado for one so weak and useless."

"Hey." Cordelia scowled. "He's not useless."

"Ask him yourself." Barney nodded to the swimmer. "Why do you think his friends never call him in when the going gets tough? Because he's useless anywhere except the pretty blue sea. Why do you think he rang his special little buddies to come blazing to the rescue?"

"You don't know what you're talking about." She snapped back and fully faced the demon, her arms crossed over her chest and defiance written all over her face.

Barney simply chuckled in a way that brought AC's anger to the boil. "I know more than you. Which isn't that hard when I think about it. Go on, Fish Food. Tell her all about Dark Thursday. That ring a bell? Or should I say make a wave?"

The instant Cordelia looked at him was the same instant AC saw her trust ebbing away.

"Dark Thursday?" She asked, her voice a little too quiet and hell if AC didn't wanna smash his horny freaking head in with his bare hands.

"All this turmoil is delicious," he grinned. "Poor, poor Cordelia with her delusions of an acting career.

"I'm sorry?" She hissed.

Barney grinned all the more. "Yes, you are. You both are. Pathetic, really. The perfect couple. One out of his depth and the other so shallow, even her friend couldn't tell her the truth. Isn't that right?"

"If he couldn't tell her truth, then he didn't know her."

"Oh, he knew her. Knew how selfish she is, knew how annoying she is. All that me, me, me made him want to die just to get away from her."

"You're lying." Cordelia's voice broke AC's heart.

"Am I?" Barney asked, almost congenially. "That's what you feel."

AC narrowed his eyes dangerously and made a point not to notice the demon was busy fiddling with what looked like the phone cord. He didn't think, didn't feel about what he was going to do.

He just acted.

One half full coffee pot was violently hurled right towards Barney's head, Arthur followed the trajectory and gave physically what the demon gave verbally. As suspected, the demon had a bit of strength behind him and he stagger back from a punch to the abdomen.

"Get out, Cordy." AC shouted, then sent his fist crashing into the demon's face.

"Like hell! Did you hear what he said about my career?"

"This isn't the time." Agony exploded in his brain when two horns collided with his skull, the sudden and heavy impact seriously knocked him for six. Dizziness swept through him, closely followed by a sense of failure that increased when he hit the floor.

Damn, damn.

Angel left Cordelia in his protection and he failed.

Oh God, he'd failed doing what he vowed to do.

Barney was right.

He was fucking useless.

The pain was so blinding, AC could hardly open his eyes and when he did, panic made his chest tight.

Cordelia had stalked right up to Barney. "You wanna know what we feel? Pain!" And slammed her knee straight up into the demon's crotch. "How do you like that?"

"Not as much as I like this."

AC watched as Barney landed a full fisted smack to her face that had enough force to render her unconscious. It was horrifying to see her laying there, unmoving, but at least she was breathing and that was something to be grateful for.

"You don't know who you're dealing with, asshole." The swimmer managed through the pounding in his head.

"Unlike you, I do know who I'm dealing with. Now say goodnight."

The last thing AC saw was the foot of a much bigger demon coming down to his head.