Feelings: losing a bestest fren
Do you have a bestest fren - someone u could proudly tell others (and more so yourself) that he/she is the friend that you treasure most and can rely on most ...
I DO - and maybe in many ways, I sort of neglected his feelings sometimes ...
It is weird that people can be taken for granted when comfort sets in - and you sort of always place your trust on the friendship that it will not be eroded ...
But it can be eroded ... what took years to build can also be destroyed when taken for granted .. this reminded me of a analogy:
We take years to grow a tree - sometimes we can add too much fertilisers (and that is adding too much too a relationship), sometimes we fail to add enough (and that is being busy with other things) and these can impact the growth of the tree. But the tree is resilient (and that is tolerance) and will quietly grow firmly (and that is because the trust in the friendship allows it to grow with experience), some experience causes a branch of two to break (small fights or disagreement), some causes it to grow new shoots (like being able to recall going on a totally enjoyable holiday or dive trip) but the tree continues to grow (as do friendship).
The only problem is a tree can do with less sun (affection), less water (time) and less fertiliser (dependency - both financial and non-financial) - but not none of these altogther. When you begin to take a friend for granted, you start to give it less of these. The result is a drying up tree - turning hollow inside-out.
I nearly did that to my own friendship - the red alert came about because I heard some signals from others. When I checked, I was confronted with the most scary truth - that I am indeed in the position of taking things for granted.
I will want this tree to continue growing as long as I have the capacity to take care of it. Sometimes I may be careless and forget to add one of the 3 ingredients but I got to remind myself that I cannot allow the tree to hollow-out again.
The thought of almost losing a friend (one that matters alot more to you than yourself) is scary. I had that bleak moment where I felt all world going dark and nothing is secure - that was when my bestest friend told me he felt taken for granted and thinking we are slipping apart,
I will do my best from now on - people learn and this experience broke some branches (or even tore some barks) but also helped me grow new shoots. I am glad for being able to talk it out - I realised how long it has been since we last spoke for such a long time and being able to catch up with each other's lives.
I reaffirm - MY BESTEST FRIEND WILL ALWAYS REMAIN MY BESTEST FRIEND.
I DO - and maybe in many ways, I sort of neglected his feelings sometimes ...
It is weird that people can be taken for granted when comfort sets in - and you sort of always place your trust on the friendship that it will not be eroded ...
But it can be eroded ... what took years to build can also be destroyed when taken for granted .. this reminded me of a analogy:
We take years to grow a tree - sometimes we can add too much fertilisers (and that is adding too much too a relationship), sometimes we fail to add enough (and that is being busy with other things) and these can impact the growth of the tree. But the tree is resilient (and that is tolerance) and will quietly grow firmly (and that is because the trust in the friendship allows it to grow with experience), some experience causes a branch of two to break (small fights or disagreement), some causes it to grow new shoots (like being able to recall going on a totally enjoyable holiday or dive trip) but the tree continues to grow (as do friendship).
The only problem is a tree can do with less sun (affection), less water (time) and less fertiliser (dependency - both financial and non-financial) - but not none of these altogther. When you begin to take a friend for granted, you start to give it less of these. The result is a drying up tree - turning hollow inside-out.
I nearly did that to my own friendship - the red alert came about because I heard some signals from others. When I checked, I was confronted with the most scary truth - that I am indeed in the position of taking things for granted.
I will want this tree to continue growing as long as I have the capacity to take care of it. Sometimes I may be careless and forget to add one of the 3 ingredients but I got to remind myself that I cannot allow the tree to hollow-out again.
The thought of almost losing a friend (one that matters alot more to you than yourself) is scary. I had that bleak moment where I felt all world going dark and nothing is secure - that was when my bestest friend told me he felt taken for granted and thinking we are slipping apart,
I will do my best from now on - people learn and this experience broke some branches (or even tore some barks) but also helped me grow new shoots. I am glad for being able to talk it out - I realised how long it has been since we last spoke for such a long time and being able to catch up with each other's lives.
I reaffirm - MY BESTEST FRIEND WILL ALWAYS REMAIN MY BESTEST FRIEND.