Dentist
Brrr. I even have to shudder with the mention of that name. The dentist. And I just came back from a visit. Not even a regular check up. No, I had a hole (do you even call it that in English?) in my front teeth. I was so nervous, never been that nervous for the dentist before. Or anything else, I think. But it's over now, thank god. And I'm left with a stupid 'dead' nose and lip.
But they were really nice about it all. The woman who put part of my mouth to sleep was really friendly and tried to calm me down as much as was possible, and she warned the dentist how I felt. I've been nervous about it before (always, actually), but not to the point where I literally felt sick. And I've been nervous about it for days, even. :( Haven't been eating well since Friday night. Probably because it was weekend and I could relax and that lay ahead of me... as much as I tried *not* to think about, it was always there.
So now I'm still a bit stressed, thin as hell for not eating as I should and so darn tired. Gonna take a shower, cry the stress and emotions out and try to get a good and long night's sleep. Hopefully, my appetite will be back in the morning. I'm not as strong as I should be and not really energetic. Still have laundry to fold since Sunday evening. Dishes should be done, but that can wait another day. At least I've done my best to keep on eating. But today I just couldn't. Chicken soup and rice was too much for dinner. While does are my cures for feeling sick. :P
All of that has made feel down again. Not really depressed, luckily, but just plain down. And my mom wasn't even home so she could help me relax a bit.
On the up side, I bought new sport shoes on Saturday. Badminton shoes. With really good support for my ankles! I'm going to call this week to subscribe. Kinda nervous about that too. It already starts in two weeks time! I've been wondering how I should go sporting when/if I feel like this. No energy... how the hell do you play sports then? But I'll see about that later. Nervous about meeting new people too, although that's the point of it.
Oh, and I've got an appointment for my car on Friday. It needs its yearly check-up. It's probably gonna cost me more than I want it too cost. But we'll see about that on Friday.
I know I should come online more when I feel down so my friends can cheer me up, but it's weird. On those moments I actually need someone to vent to, but I can't make myself come online. Like I don't want to burden anyone with my problems. And in the morning, I am online, just not available for a chat. I check email and LJ and try to eat breakfast. For the past few day I only had a sandwich with great difficulty. But it's better than nothing!
See, venting does help. I feel a bit better. Got it out of my head. Written it down.
As long as I'm here, I might as well ask you guys for an opinion. I'm not sure what I should do.
My parents asked me if I wanted to go on holidays with them. They'll be going for ten days, and me and my brother can come along for a few days. My brother already said yes, so it's cheaper if I go too. Single person in normal room is expensive. They're going to Austria. I'm not sure if it's a good idea if I go. I have to ask my boss next if I can even have those days off, but I don't think it'll be a problem. I've already arranged it with my colleagues. *g* I'll be around people constantly for six days (including the drive over there and back). While I need company, I do like my privacy. And what if I get down again? I can't go sleep in my own bed then. And what if my eating problem rears its head there? I know I can bring along my own cookies, and bread for the way up there... but over there, they just don't have the food I want when I have problems eating. On the other side, a few days away, to relax and wind down might just be what I need. Because if I don't go, my parents are going anyway. For ten whole days! And that's a long time to start missing them. Which will mean I will be over at friends' or my grandparents. So wouldn't it be better if I just go? Then it's only *half* the time. We would leave on Thursday. My brother and I will come back on Tuesday. My parents should come back during the weekend. So that's not too long a wait. But two weekends... I hate to think what just *could* happen. Though I am proud to say I haven't seen my parents since Saturday, and I've had a few rough moments since then. And dealt with it all by myself. So maybe... who knows what can happen in a month. Any ideas on the matter?
So off for that shower now, and then to bed before ten. God, I sound like an old person!
Oh, btw, the weather sucks too. *g* Rain, rain and floods... and cold!
But they were really nice about it all. The woman who put part of my mouth to sleep was really friendly and tried to calm me down as much as was possible, and she warned the dentist how I felt. I've been nervous about it before (always, actually), but not to the point where I literally felt sick. And I've been nervous about it for days, even. :( Haven't been eating well since Friday night. Probably because it was weekend and I could relax and that lay ahead of me... as much as I tried *not* to think about, it was always there.
So now I'm still a bit stressed, thin as hell for not eating as I should and so darn tired. Gonna take a shower, cry the stress and emotions out and try to get a good and long night's sleep. Hopefully, my appetite will be back in the morning. I'm not as strong as I should be and not really energetic. Still have laundry to fold since Sunday evening. Dishes should be done, but that can wait another day. At least I've done my best to keep on eating. But today I just couldn't. Chicken soup and rice was too much for dinner. While does are my cures for feeling sick. :P
All of that has made feel down again. Not really depressed, luckily, but just plain down. And my mom wasn't even home so she could help me relax a bit.
On the up side, I bought new sport shoes on Saturday. Badminton shoes. With really good support for my ankles! I'm going to call this week to subscribe. Kinda nervous about that too. It already starts in two weeks time! I've been wondering how I should go sporting when/if I feel like this. No energy... how the hell do you play sports then? But I'll see about that later. Nervous about meeting new people too, although that's the point of it.
Oh, and I've got an appointment for my car on Friday. It needs its yearly check-up. It's probably gonna cost me more than I want it too cost. But we'll see about that on Friday.
I know I should come online more when I feel down so my friends can cheer me up, but it's weird. On those moments I actually need someone to vent to, but I can't make myself come online. Like I don't want to burden anyone with my problems. And in the morning, I am online, just not available for a chat. I check email and LJ and try to eat breakfast. For the past few day I only had a sandwich with great difficulty. But it's better than nothing!
See, venting does help. I feel a bit better. Got it out of my head. Written it down.
As long as I'm here, I might as well ask you guys for an opinion. I'm not sure what I should do.
My parents asked me if I wanted to go on holidays with them. They'll be going for ten days, and me and my brother can come along for a few days. My brother already said yes, so it's cheaper if I go too. Single person in normal room is expensive. They're going to Austria. I'm not sure if it's a good idea if I go. I have to ask my boss next if I can even have those days off, but I don't think it'll be a problem. I've already arranged it with my colleagues. *g* I'll be around people constantly for six days (including the drive over there and back). While I need company, I do like my privacy. And what if I get down again? I can't go sleep in my own bed then. And what if my eating problem rears its head there? I know I can bring along my own cookies, and bread for the way up there... but over there, they just don't have the food I want when I have problems eating. On the other side, a few days away, to relax and wind down might just be what I need. Because if I don't go, my parents are going anyway. For ten whole days! And that's a long time to start missing them. Which will mean I will be over at friends' or my grandparents. So wouldn't it be better if I just go? Then it's only *half* the time. We would leave on Thursday. My brother and I will come back on Tuesday. My parents should come back during the weekend. So that's not too long a wait. But two weekends... I hate to think what just *could* happen. Though I am proud to say I haven't seen my parents since Saturday, and I've had a few rough moments since then. And dealt with it all by myself. So maybe... who knows what can happen in a month. Any ideas on the matter?
So off for that shower now, and then to bed before ten. God, I sound like an old person!
Oh, btw, the weather sucks too. *g* Rain, rain and floods... and cold!