Sons
So, yesterday marked the 18th anniversary of my son Kyle's physical death. I put it that way because he had been on life support and in a coma since he was 4 and one-half months old. So, there is the consideration of when "he" died. Which brings on a whole other thought sequence that I may explore at some future date.
Yesterday was a beautiful end of winter day. The sun was shining brightly, many of the students had already left town for spring break and so I was able to hear the birds singing. The song of a couple of male cardinals as they defined and defended their territory is quite distinctive. As it the song of the nuthatch, titmouse and waxwing. I haven't yet seen the house sparrows yet, but they'll be here.
This year, getting through Kyle's death anniversary was much easier on me. I was actually prepared for it mentally and so, while I felt sadness as could be expected, it didn't overwhelm me. Yeah, I was able to mark the date of his passing without becoming morose or falling into a complete "depression funk."
Next milestone to get through - Richard's birthday in April (April 6th) and his adoption day (April 9th). He will be 17 this year. I imagine he either is or will be a senior in high school. I honestly don't know which frightens me more - the idea of him finding me, or that he won't want to.
Mother's Day is always bitter-sweet for me. I had two beautiful sons, but I have no children.
Yesterday was a beautiful end of winter day. The sun was shining brightly, many of the students had already left town for spring break and so I was able to hear the birds singing. The song of a couple of male cardinals as they defined and defended their territory is quite distinctive. As it the song of the nuthatch, titmouse and waxwing. I haven't yet seen the house sparrows yet, but they'll be here.
This year, getting through Kyle's death anniversary was much easier on me. I was actually prepared for it mentally and so, while I felt sadness as could be expected, it didn't overwhelm me. Yeah, I was able to mark the date of his passing without becoming morose or falling into a complete "depression funk."
Next milestone to get through - Richard's birthday in April (April 6th) and his adoption day (April 9th). He will be 17 this year. I imagine he either is or will be a senior in high school. I honestly don't know which frightens me more - the idea of him finding me, or that he won't want to.
Mother's Day is always bitter-sweet for me. I had two beautiful sons, but I have no children.