(no subject)
The first part of this post should have been submitted with or before my previous post, but I want to submit it anyway. The second part is a bit yummy. ^^
They keep saying that it is normal for teenagers to fall in love with their own sex. Yeah. But who wouldn’t fall in love when you are surrounded by beauty and perfection, which doesn’t only know you are there and acknowledge you with kind smiles, but loves you and touches you every day! The only boy who was ever that perfect, that beautiful, acknowledged me with anger, opposition and even disgust. He is no longer worth my attention. His beauty faded.
My first kisses came from playing truth or dare, and even here I found girls to be the better players. The boys shied away from me, while the girls welcomed me with open arms. One of them was willing to take it further.
A sleep over at her place, only the two of us. Unable to think of anything but her lips, her skin, her soul and heart so lovely. Lying down to sleep next to her, firm in my belief that telling her of my desire would only leave me feeling guilty in the morning, I began to realise something. Every time we said goodnight she would find something to say to make me sit up and face her again, something to delay our parting on separate trains into dreamland. Finally I dared assume what she wanted. And it was such a joy to allow myself to believe that. That she wanted what I wanted. I hardly dared.
“Can I kiss you?” I remember that, my words, my embarrassment, her suppressed laughter and the tiny nod, and then I bent forward and our lips touched.
***
Every Christmas there is a ball at our school. All the boys wear suits and the girls have the loveliest dresses. I went to the party in tenth grade (2004), and it was actually a lot of fun.
Prior to the big night we are given dance lessons in gym. Tango, English waltz, Chachacha and more. Tango is a lot of fun, especially because there is this one guy in my class who always asks me to dance. He is a bit of an outcast, and needs special tutoring. That evening we danced again and again. He is really good at it, and when we tangoed he led without effort. I was having a really great time, but later that evening he asked to speak to me alone. I knew immediately what it was about, even though this kind of thing almost never happens to me. He asked me to be his girlfriend, but I couldn’t return his feelings. Had I said yes to him it would have been out of pity, but it broke my heart to turn him down.
The best moment of that evening, however, came later, when I was resting my feet. The dance floor was filled with couples, dancing the Tango. Then, in the middle of the crowd, I spotted two boys! They were holding each other really close and dancing. One of them, I shall call him K, is in my class, and he is really handsome. He's the strong and silent type. The other one, let’s call him M, is in tenth grade as well, but in another class. He's more metrosexual. K was leading. I was probably staring, a big happy smile on my face. They were so slashy! And it was the TANGO! Real-life slash is just gorgeous.
They keep saying that it is normal for teenagers to fall in love with their own sex. Yeah. But who wouldn’t fall in love when you are surrounded by beauty and perfection, which doesn’t only know you are there and acknowledge you with kind smiles, but loves you and touches you every day! The only boy who was ever that perfect, that beautiful, acknowledged me with anger, opposition and even disgust. He is no longer worth my attention. His beauty faded.
My first kisses came from playing truth or dare, and even here I found girls to be the better players. The boys shied away from me, while the girls welcomed me with open arms. One of them was willing to take it further.
A sleep over at her place, only the two of us. Unable to think of anything but her lips, her skin, her soul and heart so lovely. Lying down to sleep next to her, firm in my belief that telling her of my desire would only leave me feeling guilty in the morning, I began to realise something. Every time we said goodnight she would find something to say to make me sit up and face her again, something to delay our parting on separate trains into dreamland. Finally I dared assume what she wanted. And it was such a joy to allow myself to believe that. That she wanted what I wanted. I hardly dared.
“Can I kiss you?” I remember that, my words, my embarrassment, her suppressed laughter and the tiny nod, and then I bent forward and our lips touched.
***
Every Christmas there is a ball at our school. All the boys wear suits and the girls have the loveliest dresses. I went to the party in tenth grade (2004), and it was actually a lot of fun.
Prior to the big night we are given dance lessons in gym. Tango, English waltz, Chachacha and more. Tango is a lot of fun, especially because there is this one guy in my class who always asks me to dance. He is a bit of an outcast, and needs special tutoring. That evening we danced again and again. He is really good at it, and when we tangoed he led without effort. I was having a really great time, but later that evening he asked to speak to me alone. I knew immediately what it was about, even though this kind of thing almost never happens to me. He asked me to be his girlfriend, but I couldn’t return his feelings. Had I said yes to him it would have been out of pity, but it broke my heart to turn him down.
The best moment of that evening, however, came later, when I was resting my feet. The dance floor was filled with couples, dancing the Tango. Then, in the middle of the crowd, I spotted two boys! They were holding each other really close and dancing. One of them, I shall call him K, is in my class, and he is really handsome. He's the strong and silent type. The other one, let’s call him M, is in tenth grade as well, but in another class. He's more metrosexual. K was leading. I was probably staring, a big happy smile on my face. They were so slashy! And it was the TANGO! Real-life slash is just gorgeous.