Bargain || Zelos & Kratos
Title: Bargain
Fandom: ToS
Characters: Zelos. Kratos. Yggdrasill
Time: In-game.
Genre: Humor, oneshot.
Length: Roughly 3k words.
Summary: Kratos and Zelos are playing cards on Derris Kharlan. Mithos watches, entertained like he has never been in the past few millenia.
Additional Notes: Originally written for the "Tales of" kink meme. Pretty much made of pure crack, only if the reaction wasn't what I'd label as 'canon'. Also tweaked up from its original version.
One would be mistaken if one believed gald to come rushing in freely solely because one would retain the title of Chosen in Tethe’Alla: Zelos Wilder would not deny to have been left a hefty sum from his father that never cared, but he had to know the city’s economy like the back of his hand, even as a kid, if he wanted any chance to survive. And being oppressed under the Church’s reign (he still had his ways, though; he WAS the Chosen, after all), denying it of its obligatory subvention towards the Chosen's "religious cause" was always fun - anything to piss off the two-faced Pope would forever be a welcomed addition. Of course, that would have to make him a quick learner in everything he'll be touching upon on, but for the young, narcissistic, popular and ingenious Chosen, that really didn't pose any sort of problem whatsoever.
It was that adaptability that prompted Lord Yggdrasill to personally contact him.
Sure, Zelos' reasons for learning that sort of ability could be laughable, but it also explained his connections and answered for some of his abilities, such as his mastery … in Poker.
He was 15 when the Church granted him permission to gamble, convinced that the child would come back his tail between his legs begging for money - and mercy - a week later.
After three, the child in question was richer than the Casino.
It was with the place’s ban - a plea, really, to be technical - and a few years straight of the title “Poker King” (he didn't play for money anymore, so the place was fine) that the confident, with reason, redhead challenged the other redhead to a game - right in the middle of Cruxis’ headquarters.
Yggdrasill seemed to be extremely amused by the notion, and went so far as to change back to Mithos to watch his favorite, traitorous humans duke it all out with a deck that was over 4 millenniums old.
“If I win, you 1)stop stalking us because it’s my job to look after the cabbage patch kids,” Zelos began, taking a small pause in-between requests as he began to shuffle; the deck was definitively smoother than it felt. Looking good.
The great almighty leader of Cruxis nodded with a smile. The stalker in question was putting up a good imitation of a semi-curious rock.
“2)stop trying to convince me in running YOUR errands,“ the younger redhead continued with nonchalance.
The elven boy simply followed along, deeming it of the quirky Chosen’s whim while the older man seemed to almost frown.
“and 3)-”
“…Is it not premature to decide the stakes now?”
“Gramps, when was the last time you’ve done your last bet on earth? Of course you decide on the stakes first; that prevents chickening out later,” Zelos sneered.
“…Oh, you have my word that I will abide by your conditions; it is simply in my belief that we should finish your… contest beforehand.”
“You don’t have to fear there; he might be old and kinda cowardly, but he usually sticks by his word,” Mithos sweetly chimed.
“It relieves me so to hear you vouch, oh greatly esteemed leader!” Zelos exclaimed with sarcasm, the keyword usually far from having been forgotten.
“Ah, but you shouldn’t be too full of yourself either, child; I think you are familiar with what my teacher used to say so often-”
“Who you calling ‘child’?” Zelos cut in, glaring at the blond kid. Snotty brat.
“Overconfidence leads to carelessness, Chosen.” The half-elven boy finished, glowing like the sun.
“Hey, stop ignoring me. And that? Yeah? He still says it. Are you all clichéd or what?” The redhead spat, narrowing his eyes.
Mithos flashed a smile that would have turned Genis to jello.
“Why don’t you deal then? I’m curious to see how this will turn out.”
“Heh! Well then, I don’t know what your stake would be, pops, but if I lose, I’d do anything you want!” The Chosen declared confidently with crossed arms.
“You didn’t hear anything at all, did you?” Mithosl hid a smile and shook his head; his ex-mentor hasn’t been mentor for nothing, and as ingenious as their newest human member might be, he still had, without doubt, much to learn.
“Just don’t end up eating your words, Chosen. We’ll remember them.”
Funny how Kratos actually didn't say a thing; aw well. His voice won't be missed.
“Hah! I won’t!”
Mithos Yggdrasill had to force himself to not unleash an evil cackle; this would definitively prove itself to be very entertaining.
The almighty leader of Cruxis idly asked himself when was the last time he had so much fun WATCHING from the sidelines as he laughed out loud as Zelos, a forced frown on his face, was finally forced to trash his cards and acknowledge, most unwillingly, humiliating defeat.
Kratos didn’t look any different than when they first started; Mithos, however, knew the man enough to know that he wasn’t the only one amused.
Actually, so did Zelos, but he was busy trying hard to ignore that detail.
“So, Chosen, your prediction revealed itself to be false, or so it seems,” the blond sang.
“…Hey, it WAS a close one. We’ve had 5 straight rounds of ties and he won by a HAIR,” the Chosen in question objected.
“Aren’t Royal Flushes supposed to be rare, though?” Mithos put on his most innocent smile.
“I was ONE CARD away to have one myself,” Zelos snarled in reply as he flipped his own hand, showing a Flush of Hearts- he was indeed one ace away. “He just lucked out with the Ace of Spades.”
“So You have to do whatever he tells you now, right?” The blond was seriously too excited for his own good.
“I would request kindly for my most esteemed leader to shut up, seeing that I played his subordinate and not the great Cruxis Leader himself.”
Mithos laughed; Zelos was definitively the most entertaining human he’s ever met.
“…”
“So pops, what’s your request going to be?”
Kratos blinked. Zelos would have growled (and then facepalmed); just what was it with his utter indifference?
“Oh, do what you will. I did request staking after the match, did I not? You’re free to choose.”
“Wha- Oh you are NOT going to give ME your pity!” The redhead shouted, standing up as he slammed a fist down onto the table.
Mithos had to hold back a giggle. Kratos raised an eyebrow.
“I stand by what I said, dude; yeah yeah, I lost. But you can keep your pity for yourself. What do you want me to do?”
Kratos had that vapid ‘I really don’t know what you're talking about’ look on his face - it only served to enrage Zelos further - as he turned to Mithos with a questioning air.
“Oh, you shouldn’t hold back, sensei; I think you should take up the boy on his offer.” ...Would that kid EVER stop with that disturbing smile.
“Hey, who you calling ‘boy’, twerp?” Zelos shot back, getting a distinct impression of dealing with a much crazier and evil version of Genis - perhaps it was high time for him to start being grateful for the fact that he was traveling with a 5-star cook of a mage instead of a 4-thousand years old crazy half-elven kid set on world domination.
Kratos ignored that. “Exactly what would you think I might need that he could offer?” He asked blandly, still looking as dry as always.
...Sure, there was Aionis. But honestly, this was a pretty bad time to bring that up.
Looking up, he met the younger redhead's glance; the Chosen was still a smart one, and instantly picked it up. The reaction he got was all but too clear.
Fortunately, Mithos was much too busy being amused to notice. Zelos mentally grunted. Hmph, he really should expect as much from the old man - old, yes, but definitively not so stupid to be beyond absolute help.
The half-elf’s eyes, however, were still lit with mirth. “This isn’t the time to be shy, sensei! Say something!”
Said sensei bought his hand to his temple. “…If I didn’t know any better, Lord Yggdrasill, I’d say that you want this far more than I would,” he sighed. This predicament is indeed without precedent.
“You don’t have to be so formal, Kratos! I’m quite enjoying this!”
“At our expenses?” Zelos retorts, starting to feel left out. It almost hurt. Almost.
“Hm then, I trust you'd have no objections if I say something in his stead?” Mithos replies, smirking at Zelos.
The redhead looked up with annoyance; this whole charade was starting to get ridiculous (admittedly, if he ignored the fact that it was kinda ridiculous to begin with). What could the kid possibly suggest?
Kratos sighed. “Do what you see fit, milord.”
No ‘your wish is our command’? Zelos resisted the urge to raise a brow himself, but still seconded the notion. “Go ahead, o great leader of Cruxis; the Chosen of Tethe’Alla awaits his sentence," he rolled his eyes.
“Stay on Derris-Kharlan tonight; with your ‘friends’ currently idling in Altamira, your absence won’t be questioned.”
Zelos frowned. Suddenly his sixth sense was screaming out alarms all over the place. “...What for?”
“...You know, I think you’ve been right on one thing; Kratos IS getting old,” the blond smiled. It felt even more evil than before. ...What the heck did he got himself into? Again?
“You mean you JUST noticed?” Zelos snorted, playing along despite the sudden feeling of 'NOT GOOD' prickling him all over. ...So maybe Mithos occasionally picked on him; but at least he wasn’t alone, and nothing could describe the absolute WIN of seeing the kid doing the same - to Kratos. Maybe he'll hear him out...
“So why don’t you do him - us all, actually - a favor, and try things people around your age would do with him? ”
Mithos might as well have been high on something and just used Indignation Judgment in their faces, if nothing else. Zelos had to swallow hard to not look suspicious and Kratos was, apparently, still getting a kick out of acting like a rock.
“…Excuse me, milord?”
“You heard me.”
Zelos had to blink HARD in order to convince himself that Mithos Yggdrasill did NOT just wiggle his eyebrows at him.
“…Elaborate?”
Ogod. Do I even want to KNOW? This kid’s even nuttier than I gave him credit for!
“Aren’t you good at these? I mean, the entire of Cruxis knows that you’re not too fond of my advisor and often complains on his aged attitude, so why not seize this opportunity to teach HIM for a change what you do in your spare time? Perhaps your joviality will succeed in making him act younger,” Mithos continued.
And then they were both greeted by a grin that was absolutely angelic.
Zelos could do very little but gape at him. Are his ears working properly?!
“…Lord Yggdrasill, I must objec-”
“Now now, didn’t you willingly leave this in my capable hands? I think you two will do fine; I’m sure Lloyd will be pleased as well if you two were ever to get along; he seemed disappointed every time you frown upon his mention,” the blond half-elf turned towards Zelos instead - still grinning, surprise surprise - and shoved a thumb in his mentor’s direction.
Zelos scoffed. Loudly. This can't be right. “Soon all this would hardly matter; that’s just a lame excuse!”
Mithos chuckled. “As utterly tantalizing it is to watch you two bicker, I have to note that I deserve at least this much say when most of your verbal confrontations occur under MY very presence,” the boy went on, eyes shining with dazzling mischief.
Kratos sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Zelos slipped a bit in his chair.
“You did lose, Zelos. And Kratos DID allow me to choose something for him. And that’s only excluding my authority over you both as supreme leader of Cruxis. I think it’s clear, isn’t it? ♥”
He did NOT just use a heart. Only I'm allowed to do that! The redhead raged.
But instead, Zelos facepalmed. “Thanks for keeping your mouth shut, pops.”
Kratos snorted. Any other time, Zelos would have made fun of it. “Supposedly you were good with bargains; I should ask YOU why you suddenly opted to be quiet.”
“I’m not going to haggle with a psychotic brat with too much power under his pinky for his own good, EVEN if it meant having to be involved with you,” the redhead retorted, blatantly displeased.
Kratos coughed. “I suppose that’s true.”
Mithos laughed out loud; it’s been more than 2 thousand years since he’d last been talked of as if he wasn’t there, in his face, no less.
“Well then, it’s getting late,” the blond singsonged.
“...Indeed. What would you have us do, Lord Yggdrasill?”
Zelos almost fell out of his chair. How OBLIVIOUS is the guy? He CAN’T be worse than LLOYD, of all people! His lord Yggdrasill was QUITE clear in his undertone; what was there to wonder about?!
Mithos laughed out even LOUDER this time around, going so far as needing to hold onto the table for support as he stood up and turned around. He knew exactly what Kratos was trying to pull; it was just that much more fun to see Zelos misinterpret it and dear MARTERL INDEED that expression was priceless. He also did not recall the last time such a hilarious line sounded from Kratos’ mouth.
Still chortling with undisguised mirth, the elven blond proceeded to adopt his adult form and casually floated his way to the automatic doors. He then stopped and turned around, looking back at the redheads with one eye as he tilted his head sideways.
“...Iunno, ever heard of strip poker? You have a lot of belts lying around in your closet too, don't you? I'm sure both of you will come up with something!” Yggdrasill winked, for sure this time, as he FINALLY left the room.
Zelos loudly bought his forehead down onto the table.
“Owwwww…”
“…Are you alright?”
“Why the FUCK did you have to ask that?”
“It was worth a shot; perhaps he was insinuating something else.”
“…Er, no? If anything, we might have gotten away with it EASIER if he stayed vague; I could have slept in your room and that might have been enough to get us off the hook. But NO, you had to open your mouth and make him SPECIFY. I hope you’re proud of yourself, pops.”
“You do realize that he would know, either way? If we pretend to misinterpret his words, he would only come after you with the pretext that you have not fulfilled your end of the deal, as much as it would alleviate thing for us in our current predicament? ”
“…”
“You can’t possibly tell me he’d watch us.”
“I would not put it pass him.”
“…And you say this because…”
They stared at each other.
Zelos slammed his forehead in his palm. “You can’t be serious.”
“…Me?”
“Forget I said anything. Anything. At. All.”
The next few minutes were spent in utter silence.
“…”
“Do you really hate me all that much?”
“Ugggh. Do you need to ask?”
“I suppose not. Though I would expect you to object louder.”
“… Remember what I said? Psychotic brat with too much power?”
“I suppose.”
“Stop saying that. You got any alcohol in this place? I want to be drunk. REAL drunk.”
“I’m afraid that we can’t accommodate that. Here we are.”
Oh look, his room. …Great.
Zelos had to mentally slap himself - hard - in order to snap out of his current state of blatant sulkiness in order to try this with another approach.
He sank into a couch.
“...Where the heck did you learn to play Poker so well? I know for a fact none of us had the chance to cheat,” he asks with narrowed eyes.
It was a welcomed subject change for both.
“Honestly, it was a way to get money during the war; does it surprise you to know that all Cruxis Seraphim know how to play Poker?”
Zelos stared at him with utter disbelief.
“…YES, I THINK I would have appreciated it if I was told.”
“...But you were so confident.”
“Oh, just shut up. … You’re the best, I take it?”
“Mithos prefers to watch. Yuan hates losing so we never play.”
Zelos snorted. “Why am I not surprised?” He sank further into the piece of not so uncomfortable furniture before taking a look around; there was no dust, and everything seemed pretty neat.
“…You have a deck here?”
“…?”
“I want a rematch.”
“…”
“You heard me.”
“It didn’t turn out well the last time you tried laying down stakes.”
“No, but at least we’re not being watched.”
“…”
“I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING. SHUT UP. …Not directly, anyway. And that’s that.”
“…”
“Stop laughing at me.”
“I said nothing.”
“Hypocrite,” Zelos snarls, getting out of the couch to settle on the edge of the bed; it was actually much softer than he’d imagined. His face did nothing to hide that.
“Why are you shocked?”
“Dude, I’d think you’d sleep on STEEL. Spikes wouldn’t surprise me either, now that I think about it.”
“… I am still human.”
“Yeah? I would have never guessed. Anyway, at least this time around we’ll be forced to play for something more specific.”
“Indeed.”
“And I suppose we’ll stake out the additional after we sort out the winner,” he hissed.
The shadow of a smile on the older man’s lips only made him more upset.
“You will find yourself in quite the predicament if you play - and bargain - the same way you did before; that I’ll say now.”
“STFU. Remember what I said? Blond psychotic brats? I don’t bargain with these. Emo grandpa stalkers, however, are of an entirely different matter,” Zelos venomously retorted, cracking his knuckles as he glared up like a pissed kitten.
Chuckling lightly now, the said grandpa produced a deck from the nightstand before settling down himself near the bed's headboard.
“And JUST before you say anything else with that smartass mouth of yours, YES, overconfidence MAY lead to carelessness, but ALSO, I don’t GIVE A DAMN, because MY philosophy is whatever will be, will be, and I DARE believe Lady Luck’s smart enough to pick me over you - after all, I can’t picture anyone blind enough to do the reverse.”
...Except Lloyd. He’s just stupid. And nobody will ever hear this.
Kratos was trying very hard - and succeeding very admirably - to not laugh. Zelos doesn’t seem to notice, which was probably a very good thing.
“Now give me the cards. I’m dealing the first round.”
“As you wish.”
“Im case you haven’t heard, I SAID, STOP LAUGHING AT ME.”
“…But I-”
A few floors and dozen corridors away, Mithos Yggdrasill was laughing his pointy elven ears off as his fingers seemed to have accidentally trailed over to the RECORD button of the master monitor - the very instant when the Chosen of Tethe’Alla pounced, in a very impressive imitation of a cub, onto his more or less suspecting sword mentor.
The gleeful leader of Cruxis briefly considered, for a very brief instant, the technical advantages such a footage might provide: he could blackmail the pair, but they were already under his thumb. He could kidnap Lloyd and make him watch it in hopes of causing brain damage, but the boy would probably fail to understand the least bit of what’s going on. He could ALSO leave it on Yuan’s desk and then watch HIS reaction for FURTHER laughs, but his fellow half elf was never around and Yuan’s been a prick for the last few centuries.
Or… Nah, maybe he should just keep this for himself. It was, after all, probably going to turn out to be a very entertaining video.
With an expression of utter, heavenly amusement, the blond got up from his chair, and for the first time, wondered if they left any food or drink on the planet/mass of mana: if that’s how it results every single time, then he should seriously interfere in their business more often - not to mention start getting them to bring this thing called ‘popcorn’ on Derris Kharlan. Humans are such an entertaining race, and it certainly helped his boredom’s cause that he’s got a pair with such a fascination relationship under his hands.
Yes, indeed; he should definitively try this more often.
Fandom: ToS
Characters: Zelos. Kratos. Yggdrasill
Time: In-game.
Genre: Humor, oneshot.
Length: Roughly 3k words.
Summary: Kratos and Zelos are playing cards on Derris Kharlan. Mithos watches, entertained like he has never been in the past few millenia.
Additional Notes: Originally written for the "Tales of" kink meme. Pretty much made of pure crack, only if the reaction wasn't what I'd label as 'canon'. Also tweaked up from its original version.
One would be mistaken if one believed gald to come rushing in freely solely because one would retain the title of Chosen in Tethe’Alla: Zelos Wilder would not deny to have been left a hefty sum from his father that never cared, but he had to know the city’s economy like the back of his hand, even as a kid, if he wanted any chance to survive. And being oppressed under the Church’s reign (he still had his ways, though; he WAS the Chosen, after all), denying it of its obligatory subvention towards the Chosen's "religious cause" was always fun - anything to piss off the two-faced Pope would forever be a welcomed addition. Of course, that would have to make him a quick learner in everything he'll be touching upon on, but for the young, narcissistic, popular and ingenious Chosen, that really didn't pose any sort of problem whatsoever.
It was that adaptability that prompted Lord Yggdrasill to personally contact him.
Sure, Zelos' reasons for learning that sort of ability could be laughable, but it also explained his connections and answered for some of his abilities, such as his mastery … in Poker.
He was 15 when the Church granted him permission to gamble, convinced that the child would come back his tail between his legs begging for money - and mercy - a week later.
After three, the child in question was richer than the Casino.
It was with the place’s ban - a plea, really, to be technical - and a few years straight of the title “Poker King” (he didn't play for money anymore, so the place was fine) that the confident, with reason, redhead challenged the other redhead to a game - right in the middle of Cruxis’ headquarters.
Yggdrasill seemed to be extremely amused by the notion, and went so far as to change back to Mithos to watch his favorite, traitorous humans duke it all out with a deck that was over 4 millenniums old.
“If I win, you 1)stop stalking us because it’s my job to look after the cabbage patch kids,” Zelos began, taking a small pause in-between requests as he began to shuffle; the deck was definitively smoother than it felt. Looking good.
The great almighty leader of Cruxis nodded with a smile. The stalker in question was putting up a good imitation of a semi-curious rock.
“2)stop trying to convince me in running YOUR errands,“ the younger redhead continued with nonchalance.
The elven boy simply followed along, deeming it of the quirky Chosen’s whim while the older man seemed to almost frown.
“and 3)-”
“…Is it not premature to decide the stakes now?”
“Gramps, when was the last time you’ve done your last bet on earth? Of course you decide on the stakes first; that prevents chickening out later,” Zelos sneered.
“…Oh, you have my word that I will abide by your conditions; it is simply in my belief that we should finish your… contest beforehand.”
“You don’t have to fear there; he might be old and kinda cowardly, but he usually sticks by his word,” Mithos sweetly chimed.
“It relieves me so to hear you vouch, oh greatly esteemed leader!” Zelos exclaimed with sarcasm, the keyword usually far from having been forgotten.
“Ah, but you shouldn’t be too full of yourself either, child; I think you are familiar with what my teacher used to say so often-”
“Who you calling ‘child’?” Zelos cut in, glaring at the blond kid. Snotty brat.
“Overconfidence leads to carelessness, Chosen.” The half-elven boy finished, glowing like the sun.
“Hey, stop ignoring me. And that? Yeah? He still says it. Are you all clichéd or what?” The redhead spat, narrowing his eyes.
Mithos flashed a smile that would have turned Genis to jello.
“Why don’t you deal then? I’m curious to see how this will turn out.”
“Heh! Well then, I don’t know what your stake would be, pops, but if I lose, I’d do anything you want!” The Chosen declared confidently with crossed arms.
“You didn’t hear anything at all, did you?” Mithosl hid a smile and shook his head; his ex-mentor hasn’t been mentor for nothing, and as ingenious as their newest human member might be, he still had, without doubt, much to learn.
“Just don’t end up eating your words, Chosen. We’ll remember them.”
Funny how Kratos actually didn't say a thing; aw well. His voice won't be missed.
“Hah! I won’t!”
Mithos Yggdrasill had to force himself to not unleash an evil cackle; this would definitively prove itself to be very entertaining.
The almighty leader of Cruxis idly asked himself when was the last time he had so much fun WATCHING from the sidelines as he laughed out loud as Zelos, a forced frown on his face, was finally forced to trash his cards and acknowledge, most unwillingly, humiliating defeat.
Kratos didn’t look any different than when they first started; Mithos, however, knew the man enough to know that he wasn’t the only one amused.
Actually, so did Zelos, but he was busy trying hard to ignore that detail.
“So, Chosen, your prediction revealed itself to be false, or so it seems,” the blond sang.
“…Hey, it WAS a close one. We’ve had 5 straight rounds of ties and he won by a HAIR,” the Chosen in question objected.
“Aren’t Royal Flushes supposed to be rare, though?” Mithos put on his most innocent smile.
“I was ONE CARD away to have one myself,” Zelos snarled in reply as he flipped his own hand, showing a Flush of Hearts- he was indeed one ace away. “He just lucked out with the Ace of Spades.”
“So You have to do whatever he tells you now, right?” The blond was seriously too excited for his own good.
“I would request kindly for my most esteemed leader to shut up, seeing that I played his subordinate and not the great Cruxis Leader himself.”
Mithos laughed; Zelos was definitively the most entertaining human he’s ever met.
“…”
“So pops, what’s your request going to be?”
Kratos blinked. Zelos would have growled (and then facepalmed); just what was it with his utter indifference?
“Oh, do what you will. I did request staking after the match, did I not? You’re free to choose.”
“Wha- Oh you are NOT going to give ME your pity!” The redhead shouted, standing up as he slammed a fist down onto the table.
Mithos had to hold back a giggle. Kratos raised an eyebrow.
“I stand by what I said, dude; yeah yeah, I lost. But you can keep your pity for yourself. What do you want me to do?”
Kratos had that vapid ‘I really don’t know what you're talking about’ look on his face - it only served to enrage Zelos further - as he turned to Mithos with a questioning air.
“Oh, you shouldn’t hold back, sensei; I think you should take up the boy on his offer.” ...Would that kid EVER stop with that disturbing smile.
“Hey, who you calling ‘boy’, twerp?” Zelos shot back, getting a distinct impression of dealing with a much crazier and evil version of Genis - perhaps it was high time for him to start being grateful for the fact that he was traveling with a 5-star cook of a mage instead of a 4-thousand years old crazy half-elven kid set on world domination.
Kratos ignored that. “Exactly what would you think I might need that he could offer?” He asked blandly, still looking as dry as always.
...Sure, there was Aionis. But honestly, this was a pretty bad time to bring that up.
Looking up, he met the younger redhead's glance; the Chosen was still a smart one, and instantly picked it up. The reaction he got was all but too clear.
Fortunately, Mithos was much too busy being amused to notice. Zelos mentally grunted. Hmph, he really should expect as much from the old man - old, yes, but definitively not so stupid to be beyond absolute help.
The half-elf’s eyes, however, were still lit with mirth. “This isn’t the time to be shy, sensei! Say something!”
Said sensei bought his hand to his temple. “…If I didn’t know any better, Lord Yggdrasill, I’d say that you want this far more than I would,” he sighed. This predicament is indeed without precedent.
“You don’t have to be so formal, Kratos! I’m quite enjoying this!”
“At our expenses?” Zelos retorts, starting to feel left out. It almost hurt. Almost.
“Hm then, I trust you'd have no objections if I say something in his stead?” Mithos replies, smirking at Zelos.
The redhead looked up with annoyance; this whole charade was starting to get ridiculous (admittedly, if he ignored the fact that it was kinda ridiculous to begin with). What could the kid possibly suggest?
Kratos sighed. “Do what you see fit, milord.”
No ‘your wish is our command’? Zelos resisted the urge to raise a brow himself, but still seconded the notion. “Go ahead, o great leader of Cruxis; the Chosen of Tethe’Alla awaits his sentence," he rolled his eyes.
“Stay on Derris-Kharlan tonight; with your ‘friends’ currently idling in Altamira, your absence won’t be questioned.”
Zelos frowned. Suddenly his sixth sense was screaming out alarms all over the place. “...What for?”
“...You know, I think you’ve been right on one thing; Kratos IS getting old,” the blond smiled. It felt even more evil than before. ...What the heck did he got himself into? Again?
“You mean you JUST noticed?” Zelos snorted, playing along despite the sudden feeling of 'NOT GOOD' prickling him all over. ...So maybe Mithos occasionally picked on him; but at least he wasn’t alone, and nothing could describe the absolute WIN of seeing the kid doing the same - to Kratos. Maybe he'll hear him out...
“So why don’t you do him - us all, actually - a favor, and try things people around your age would do with him? ”
Mithos might as well have been high on something and just used Indignation Judgment in their faces, if nothing else. Zelos had to swallow hard to not look suspicious and Kratos was, apparently, still getting a kick out of acting like a rock.
“…Excuse me, milord?”
“You heard me.”
Zelos had to blink HARD in order to convince himself that Mithos Yggdrasill did NOT just wiggle his eyebrows at him.
“…Elaborate?”
Ogod. Do I even want to KNOW? This kid’s even nuttier than I gave him credit for!
“Aren’t you good at these? I mean, the entire of Cruxis knows that you’re not too fond of my advisor and often complains on his aged attitude, so why not seize this opportunity to teach HIM for a change what you do in your spare time? Perhaps your joviality will succeed in making him act younger,” Mithos continued.
And then they were both greeted by a grin that was absolutely angelic.
Zelos could do very little but gape at him. Are his ears working properly?!
“…Lord Yggdrasill, I must objec-”
“Now now, didn’t you willingly leave this in my capable hands? I think you two will do fine; I’m sure Lloyd will be pleased as well if you two were ever to get along; he seemed disappointed every time you frown upon his mention,” the blond half-elf turned towards Zelos instead - still grinning, surprise surprise - and shoved a thumb in his mentor’s direction.
Zelos scoffed. Loudly. This can't be right. “Soon all this would hardly matter; that’s just a lame excuse!”
Mithos chuckled. “As utterly tantalizing it is to watch you two bicker, I have to note that I deserve at least this much say when most of your verbal confrontations occur under MY very presence,” the boy went on, eyes shining with dazzling mischief.
Kratos sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Zelos slipped a bit in his chair.
“You did lose, Zelos. And Kratos DID allow me to choose something for him. And that’s only excluding my authority over you both as supreme leader of Cruxis. I think it’s clear, isn’t it? ♥”
He did NOT just use a heart. Only I'm allowed to do that! The redhead raged.
But instead, Zelos facepalmed. “Thanks for keeping your mouth shut, pops.”
Kratos snorted. Any other time, Zelos would have made fun of it. “Supposedly you were good with bargains; I should ask YOU why you suddenly opted to be quiet.”
“I’m not going to haggle with a psychotic brat with too much power under his pinky for his own good, EVEN if it meant having to be involved with you,” the redhead retorted, blatantly displeased.
Kratos coughed. “I suppose that’s true.”
Mithos laughed out loud; it’s been more than 2 thousand years since he’d last been talked of as if he wasn’t there, in his face, no less.
“Well then, it’s getting late,” the blond singsonged.
“...Indeed. What would you have us do, Lord Yggdrasill?”
Zelos almost fell out of his chair. How OBLIVIOUS is the guy? He CAN’T be worse than LLOYD, of all people! His lord Yggdrasill was QUITE clear in his undertone; what was there to wonder about?!
Mithos laughed out even LOUDER this time around, going so far as needing to hold onto the table for support as he stood up and turned around. He knew exactly what Kratos was trying to pull; it was just that much more fun to see Zelos misinterpret it and dear MARTERL INDEED that expression was priceless. He also did not recall the last time such a hilarious line sounded from Kratos’ mouth.
Still chortling with undisguised mirth, the elven blond proceeded to adopt his adult form and casually floated his way to the automatic doors. He then stopped and turned around, looking back at the redheads with one eye as he tilted his head sideways.
“...Iunno, ever heard of strip poker? You have a lot of belts lying around in your closet too, don't you? I'm sure both of you will come up with something!” Yggdrasill winked, for sure this time, as he FINALLY left the room.
Zelos loudly bought his forehead down onto the table.
“Owwwww…”
“…Are you alright?”
“Why the FUCK did you have to ask that?”
“It was worth a shot; perhaps he was insinuating something else.”
“…Er, no? If anything, we might have gotten away with it EASIER if he stayed vague; I could have slept in your room and that might have been enough to get us off the hook. But NO, you had to open your mouth and make him SPECIFY. I hope you’re proud of yourself, pops.”
“You do realize that he would know, either way? If we pretend to misinterpret his words, he would only come after you with the pretext that you have not fulfilled your end of the deal, as much as it would alleviate thing for us in our current predicament? ”
“…”
“You can’t possibly tell me he’d watch us.”
“I would not put it pass him.”
“…And you say this because…”
They stared at each other.
Zelos slammed his forehead in his palm. “You can’t be serious.”
“…Me?”
“Forget I said anything. Anything. At. All.”
The next few minutes were spent in utter silence.
“…”
“Do you really hate me all that much?”
“Ugggh. Do you need to ask?”
“I suppose not. Though I would expect you to object louder.”
“… Remember what I said? Psychotic brat with too much power?”
“I suppose.”
“Stop saying that. You got any alcohol in this place? I want to be drunk. REAL drunk.”
“I’m afraid that we can’t accommodate that. Here we are.”
Oh look, his room. …Great.
Zelos had to mentally slap himself - hard - in order to snap out of his current state of blatant sulkiness in order to try this with another approach.
He sank into a couch.
“...Where the heck did you learn to play Poker so well? I know for a fact none of us had the chance to cheat,” he asks with narrowed eyes.
It was a welcomed subject change for both.
“Honestly, it was a way to get money during the war; does it surprise you to know that all Cruxis Seraphim know how to play Poker?”
Zelos stared at him with utter disbelief.
“…YES, I THINK I would have appreciated it if I was told.”
“...But you were so confident.”
“Oh, just shut up. … You’re the best, I take it?”
“Mithos prefers to watch. Yuan hates losing so we never play.”
Zelos snorted. “Why am I not surprised?” He sank further into the piece of not so uncomfortable furniture before taking a look around; there was no dust, and everything seemed pretty neat.
“…You have a deck here?”
“…?”
“I want a rematch.”
“…”
“You heard me.”
“It didn’t turn out well the last time you tried laying down stakes.”
“No, but at least we’re not being watched.”
“…”
“I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING. SHUT UP. …Not directly, anyway. And that’s that.”
“…”
“Stop laughing at me.”
“I said nothing.”
“Hypocrite,” Zelos snarls, getting out of the couch to settle on the edge of the bed; it was actually much softer than he’d imagined. His face did nothing to hide that.
“Why are you shocked?”
“Dude, I’d think you’d sleep on STEEL. Spikes wouldn’t surprise me either, now that I think about it.”
“… I am still human.”
“Yeah? I would have never guessed. Anyway, at least this time around we’ll be forced to play for something more specific.”
“Indeed.”
“And I suppose we’ll stake out the additional after we sort out the winner,” he hissed.
The shadow of a smile on the older man’s lips only made him more upset.
“You will find yourself in quite the predicament if you play - and bargain - the same way you did before; that I’ll say now.”
“STFU. Remember what I said? Blond psychotic brats? I don’t bargain with these. Emo grandpa stalkers, however, are of an entirely different matter,” Zelos venomously retorted, cracking his knuckles as he glared up like a pissed kitten.
Chuckling lightly now, the said grandpa produced a deck from the nightstand before settling down himself near the bed's headboard.
“And JUST before you say anything else with that smartass mouth of yours, YES, overconfidence MAY lead to carelessness, but ALSO, I don’t GIVE A DAMN, because MY philosophy is whatever will be, will be, and I DARE believe Lady Luck’s smart enough to pick me over you - after all, I can’t picture anyone blind enough to do the reverse.”
...Except Lloyd. He’s just stupid. And nobody will ever hear this.
Kratos was trying very hard - and succeeding very admirably - to not laugh. Zelos doesn’t seem to notice, which was probably a very good thing.
“Now give me the cards. I’m dealing the first round.”
“As you wish.”
“Im case you haven’t heard, I SAID, STOP LAUGHING AT ME.”
“…But I-”
A few floors and dozen corridors away, Mithos Yggdrasill was laughing his pointy elven ears off as his fingers seemed to have accidentally trailed over to the RECORD button of the master monitor - the very instant when the Chosen of Tethe’Alla pounced, in a very impressive imitation of a cub, onto his more or less suspecting sword mentor.
The gleeful leader of Cruxis briefly considered, for a very brief instant, the technical advantages such a footage might provide: he could blackmail the pair, but they were already under his thumb. He could kidnap Lloyd and make him watch it in hopes of causing brain damage, but the boy would probably fail to understand the least bit of what’s going on. He could ALSO leave it on Yuan’s desk and then watch HIS reaction for FURTHER laughs, but his fellow half elf was never around and Yuan’s been a prick for the last few centuries.
Or… Nah, maybe he should just keep this for himself. It was, after all, probably going to turn out to be a very entertaining video.
With an expression of utter, heavenly amusement, the blond got up from his chair, and for the first time, wondered if they left any food or drink on the planet/mass of mana: if that’s how it results every single time, then he should seriously interfere in their business more often - not to mention start getting them to bring this thing called ‘popcorn’ on Derris Kharlan. Humans are such an entertaining race, and it certainly helped his boredom’s cause that he’s got a pair with such a fascination relationship under his hands.
Yes, indeed; he should definitively try this more often.