So I woke up today feeling like crap. I figure I've gotten the flu or maybe I'm just run the fuck down yet again, but I decide to call into work and talk to the attendance manager to see what'll happen if I call in sick. I mention to her that I'm feeling perhaps not up to par with my usual chipper and energetic self, and she cuts me off to say "Oh, the flu is really going around the office. If you can't make it in today it shouldn't be a problem since we've never had any attendance problems with you before." So I didn't bother to argue with her. I'm not entirely sure this is the best time to lose a full day's pay, but right now I'm not so motivated to go suffer for nine hours just to make SBC happy. So here I am.
GalithPosted something that I probably shouldn't have read, given my recent binge of self-evaluation.
This sounds vaguely familiar to me, if only because it seems to match a behavioral cycle I go through now and again. It also seems a bit more extreme than anything I've bothered to do, which I hope isn't some self-delusional denial right there. Because that would be veird. My whole problem with "disorders" and "issues" that have a case study or guidlines like this is that they always seem too broad. I understand that it's because not every case is the exact same and the rationale is used to identify a wide number of similar cases, but it also strikes me as too inclusive. Alot of what I see regarding psychology strikes me as a bunch of hacks trying to categorize every bit of behavior as some sort of abberation as an excuse to justify their career choice. The South Park episode about Ritalin pretty easily sums up how I view alot of that crap.
Not that I have some deep problems with psychologists and psychology.
Anyway, back on the job hunt again. Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to pry my life out of the hands of some selfish bastard that won't let me have it. I'm hoping I can find something that starts in the first full week of January so I can just quit SBC on the 29th or 30th or something and actually spend some time with people I like to see. The house is becoming less and less of a consideration, as it's becoming apparent that the loan officer decided to promise more than he could deliver on. Kim and I found a house that we wanted to put an offer in on and suddenly he's not returning any calls. It's probably for the better anyway, since I'm starting to see that having a house right now would probably mean I'd be stuck at SBC for a few more months at least. As it stands, the only thing that keeps me at that job is the notion that the pay is high enough so I don't have to worry about bills. If I take that away, suddenly I'd be the world's biggest sucker.
I better try and get some writing done while I have a day to myself here. I'd probably try and clean up some around the house and my room, but weirdly enough I don't have the goddamned energy for it. If I felt better, I'm sure that would have been alot more sarcastic and entertaining.
Anjin-san off.