Little Things
Title: Little Things
Characters: Jude/Max
Fandom: Across the Universe
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1
Prompt: 93, Ritual
Author's Note: This is entirely a product of imagination, and I do not own Jude Feeny, Max Carrigan, or any of the other characters depicted in the film Across the Universe.
Dear Jude,
It gets harder and harder every day to be away from you. I know you feel the same way, babe. I don't mean to make you feel bad, or make you miss me more by saying that. But that's how I feel, and I have to get it out before I can say anything else.
It's almost a ritual with me to think about how much I miss you and how hard it is to be away from you. I've got all these little rituals that I have to perform every day, both stuff that I have to do to keep myself alive here, and to keep my spirits up.
That's getting harder and harder to do, but I'm trying. Being here feels like it's eating away at me, a little at a time. I feel kind of like a flower wilting because I can't be with you. You're what's kept me going through all of this, knowing that I'll get out of here and be with you again.
Those rituals help me keep my mind off the fact that I'm not with you. They help me to focus my mind until I can go to bed, curl up in my sleeping bag under the stars or in a tent, close my eyes and picture your face in my mind's eye.
Without those rituals keeping me grounded, I think I'd have already gone insane here and they would have had to ship me back home. But that wouldn't have been as good as it sounds, because you wouldn't have been getting the same Max back who you had before.
I'd have been coming back to you without a mind. if I didn't have all those rituals to keep me from going out there into left field. They're silly little things sometimes, like the steps to take to get a tent wrapped up, but I can concentrate on them and keep myself sane.
I have rituals for thinking about you, too. I have to. If I didn't, I'd get so wrapped up in my dreams of you that I'd be careless and not pay attention to what I'm doing -- and there's no way that I want to step on a land mine and come back to you in a body bag.
That's not going to happen, so don't worry! Even though there are times when I feel like it's a possibility, if I didn't have my little rituals to calm me down and make me feel like I'm holding on to my sanity. There must be a hundred different ones that I go through.
I'm not going to describe them all to you; it'd take way too long, and I don't want to take up hours writing a letter or making you read it. Besides, some of those things are personal. I'll tell you all about them one day when I come back home, but not now.
I'm betting you have your little rituals, too. I imagine you every night, taking a shower, going to bed, holding my pillow. At least, I'm guessing you do. You're the kind of guy who needs something to cling to at night, even though I know a pillow can't be a substitute.
I wish I could do the same thing. But when you're sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag, you've got to use the pillow for your head. All I can do is close my eyes and bring your face to my mind, imagine what you must be doing and how you look.
Have you changed, Jude? Do you still look the same? Do you still have the same haircut, the same sparkle in your eyes that I fell in love with? Do you still have that same spring in your step, that same laugh that I've always loved to hear?
I want all of those things to stay the same. I don't want you to change too much, babe. I know that some things are going to change -- that's inevitable. But I don't want you to change as a person. And I don't want your love for me to change. Not ever.
I know it won't, just like my feelings for you aren't going to change. They're only going to keep getting stronger, until the day when I finally see you again and I can hold you and kiss you and touch you and do all the things I've wanted to do for so long.
All those little rituals keep those feelings alive, keep them growing all the time so that I know they're never going to fade away. Little things like saying "I love you" in a whisper every night before I fall asleep, or closing my eyes and picturing you getting ready for bed.
You know what the worst thing about being here is? Knowing that you're there all alone, that you have to get into bed every night by yourself, and that you're missing me as much as I miss you. That makes me feel so damn guilty, not being there with you.
I will be there one day, Jude. We've just got to hold on and keep the faith, and know that we're both going to get through this war okay and that we'll be together again. We've got to believe that we're going to last forever, and that this is just a little bump in the road.
All those little rituals will help us get over that bump. I know they will. We've just got to hold fast to our feelings, and believe that we'll be together again. We've got to try to keep things the way they've always been in our hearts, even when the world changes around us.
This war can't last forever, babe. And we're going to be together again before too much longer. I can feel it. I know I'm not going to be over here for the rest of my life, and I'm not coming back to you for a funeral. I'll come back to you just as much in love with you as when I had to leave.
The little things I do every day that keep the memory of us strong are going to have to sustain me until the day I come back home. As hard as it is to be away from you, every little thing that I can do to keep that memory burning bright is helping me get through all the days.
And the nights. The nights are the worst. Nights when I have to lie there and wonder what you're doing, how you're feeling, if you're as lonely as I am, and when I'm going to be able to hold you in my arms again and make love to you. The nights go on forever.
But those little things make the nights easier to take, just because I can hold my vision of you in my mind and know that I'll be coming back to you someday soon. Not soon enough for either of us, but I know it's going to happen, Jude. We both just have to believe it.
I know it's not easy to get through this time that we're apart. But any little rituals we have are going to help us get by, day by day, until we're finally back together again. And then we can get on with the rest of our lives and feel like this is just another one of the little things that happened once upon a time.
Love always,
Max
Characters: Jude/Max
Fandom: Across the Universe
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1
Prompt: 93, Ritual
Author's Note: This is entirely a product of imagination, and I do not own Jude Feeny, Max Carrigan, or any of the other characters depicted in the film Across the Universe.
Dear Jude,
It gets harder and harder every day to be away from you. I know you feel the same way, babe. I don't mean to make you feel bad, or make you miss me more by saying that. But that's how I feel, and I have to get it out before I can say anything else.
It's almost a ritual with me to think about how much I miss you and how hard it is to be away from you. I've got all these little rituals that I have to perform every day, both stuff that I have to do to keep myself alive here, and to keep my spirits up.
That's getting harder and harder to do, but I'm trying. Being here feels like it's eating away at me, a little at a time. I feel kind of like a flower wilting because I can't be with you. You're what's kept me going through all of this, knowing that I'll get out of here and be with you again.
Those rituals help me keep my mind off the fact that I'm not with you. They help me to focus my mind until I can go to bed, curl up in my sleeping bag under the stars or in a tent, close my eyes and picture your face in my mind's eye.
Without those rituals keeping me grounded, I think I'd have already gone insane here and they would have had to ship me back home. But that wouldn't have been as good as it sounds, because you wouldn't have been getting the same Max back who you had before.
I'd have been coming back to you without a mind. if I didn't have all those rituals to keep me from going out there into left field. They're silly little things sometimes, like the steps to take to get a tent wrapped up, but I can concentrate on them and keep myself sane.
I have rituals for thinking about you, too. I have to. If I didn't, I'd get so wrapped up in my dreams of you that I'd be careless and not pay attention to what I'm doing -- and there's no way that I want to step on a land mine and come back to you in a body bag.
That's not going to happen, so don't worry! Even though there are times when I feel like it's a possibility, if I didn't have my little rituals to calm me down and make me feel like I'm holding on to my sanity. There must be a hundred different ones that I go through.
I'm not going to describe them all to you; it'd take way too long, and I don't want to take up hours writing a letter or making you read it. Besides, some of those things are personal. I'll tell you all about them one day when I come back home, but not now.
I'm betting you have your little rituals, too. I imagine you every night, taking a shower, going to bed, holding my pillow. At least, I'm guessing you do. You're the kind of guy who needs something to cling to at night, even though I know a pillow can't be a substitute.
I wish I could do the same thing. But when you're sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag, you've got to use the pillow for your head. All I can do is close my eyes and bring your face to my mind, imagine what you must be doing and how you look.
Have you changed, Jude? Do you still look the same? Do you still have the same haircut, the same sparkle in your eyes that I fell in love with? Do you still have that same spring in your step, that same laugh that I've always loved to hear?
I want all of those things to stay the same. I don't want you to change too much, babe. I know that some things are going to change -- that's inevitable. But I don't want you to change as a person. And I don't want your love for me to change. Not ever.
I know it won't, just like my feelings for you aren't going to change. They're only going to keep getting stronger, until the day when I finally see you again and I can hold you and kiss you and touch you and do all the things I've wanted to do for so long.
All those little rituals keep those feelings alive, keep them growing all the time so that I know they're never going to fade away. Little things like saying "I love you" in a whisper every night before I fall asleep, or closing my eyes and picturing you getting ready for bed.
You know what the worst thing about being here is? Knowing that you're there all alone, that you have to get into bed every night by yourself, and that you're missing me as much as I miss you. That makes me feel so damn guilty, not being there with you.
I will be there one day, Jude. We've just got to hold on and keep the faith, and know that we're both going to get through this war okay and that we'll be together again. We've got to believe that we're going to last forever, and that this is just a little bump in the road.
All those little rituals will help us get over that bump. I know they will. We've just got to hold fast to our feelings, and believe that we'll be together again. We've got to try to keep things the way they've always been in our hearts, even when the world changes around us.
This war can't last forever, babe. And we're going to be together again before too much longer. I can feel it. I know I'm not going to be over here for the rest of my life, and I'm not coming back to you for a funeral. I'll come back to you just as much in love with you as when I had to leave.
The little things I do every day that keep the memory of us strong are going to have to sustain me until the day I come back home. As hard as it is to be away from you, every little thing that I can do to keep that memory burning bright is helping me get through all the days.
And the nights. The nights are the worst. Nights when I have to lie there and wonder what you're doing, how you're feeling, if you're as lonely as I am, and when I'm going to be able to hold you in my arms again and make love to you. The nights go on forever.
But those little things make the nights easier to take, just because I can hold my vision of you in my mind and know that I'll be coming back to you someday soon. Not soon enough for either of us, but I know it's going to happen, Jude. We both just have to believe it.
I know it's not easy to get through this time that we're apart. But any little rituals we have are going to help us get by, day by day, until we're finally back together again. And then we can get on with the rest of our lives and feel like this is just another one of the little things that happened once upon a time.
Love always,
Max