(no subject)
So, hilariously enough, I actually watched the movie version of that horrible vampire book.
...and surprisingly enough, it wasn't as bad as the novel.
For one thing, the movie version eradicates the original author's painful abuse of adjectives (e.g., "sparkling," "dazzling," and "beautiful," all of which are used approximately 4,687,597 times EACH in the novel), and whomever wrote the script seemed to at least attempt to naturalize and smooth over some of the clunky dialogue. The movie does seem to be appropriately embarrassed by the blatant sexism that appeared in the book, at least enough to try and tone it down- e.g., the creepy way that Bella cooks and cleans for her daddy seems to be largely absent, Bella's absurd clumsiness is made into a more natural teenage awkwardness, and a few of the female characters seem to have been changed in order to help them appear at least vaguely skilled/interesting. They even managed to make a kind of sense out of the silly pseudo-gang-rape-attempt scene; at least in the movie, the random threatening guys are slobbering drunk, so it doesn't seem to come out of left field as much when they try to make it with the mousy high school girl they just glimpsed in the parking lot. The message is a little less "guys will try and rape you if you walk places without a male escort to protect you" and a little more "people can be violent when they drink too much beer." So there's that.
Of course, the grossness of Edward's stalkerishness is still there ("I like to watch you sleep"), and Bella is still clingy and whiny and needy ("Don't ever leave me- don't even talk about it"), and Edward is still trying to channel Lord Byron and failing utterly, and the stupid thing still ends at the Prom, which is as lame and stupid as it gets. But I gleaned a passibly entertaining two hours from the experience, which is more than I can say for the horrific several days I spent trying to force myself to keep my eyes on the pages of the novel version.
So I say: rent the damn thing, pick up a few six-packs of wine coolers at the store, get a few friends together, and enjoy.
...and surprisingly enough, it wasn't as bad as the novel.
For one thing, the movie version eradicates the original author's painful abuse of adjectives (e.g., "sparkling," "dazzling," and "beautiful," all of which are used approximately 4,687,597 times EACH in the novel), and whomever wrote the script seemed to at least attempt to naturalize and smooth over some of the clunky dialogue. The movie does seem to be appropriately embarrassed by the blatant sexism that appeared in the book, at least enough to try and tone it down- e.g., the creepy way that Bella cooks and cleans for her daddy seems to be largely absent, Bella's absurd clumsiness is made into a more natural teenage awkwardness, and a few of the female characters seem to have been changed in order to help them appear at least vaguely skilled/interesting. They even managed to make a kind of sense out of the silly pseudo-gang-rape-attempt scene; at least in the movie, the random threatening guys are slobbering drunk, so it doesn't seem to come out of left field as much when they try to make it with the mousy high school girl they just glimpsed in the parking lot. The message is a little less "guys will try and rape you if you walk places without a male escort to protect you" and a little more "people can be violent when they drink too much beer." So there's that.
Of course, the grossness of Edward's stalkerishness is still there ("I like to watch you sleep"), and Bella is still clingy and whiny and needy ("Don't ever leave me- don't even talk about it"), and Edward is still trying to channel Lord Byron and failing utterly, and the stupid thing still ends at the Prom, which is as lame and stupid as it gets. But I gleaned a passibly entertaining two hours from the experience, which is more than I can say for the horrific several days I spent trying to force myself to keep my eyes on the pages of the novel version.
So I say: rent the damn thing, pick up a few six-packs of wine coolers at the store, get a few friends together, and enjoy.