x the words i should`ve said to you, they got lost. you went away.
it`s just one of those days when you walk around in a daze, because you know you screwed up,
and you`re never going to get that second chance. no matter how hard you try, no matter how many
tears there are, it`s not going to happen. it doesn`t matter how much you love him or what you
would do for him, because this is the way things are going to be: miserable. and it rips you apart
inside because despite how stupid and naive you were, you know where you went wrong
and you know how to make everything okay. and you just want to let it all out, and scream and cry.
but instead, you hold it in. you hold it in and you tell them you`re alright, and you fake that smile
that you fake so perfectly. you have everyone else convinced so well, that you almost believe it
yourself. but then you remember how everything has made a turn for the worst. it`s all in that moment
that you realize that things will never ever be the same. and as you finish emptying that bottle,
you just try and accept that everything happens for a reason. it was never meant to be.
happiness just isn`t for you. it`s just something we have no control over.
and that...is called destiny.
love,
staci.